What's ethical when getting a tuition break?

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Forum -> Household Management -> Finances

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amother

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 4:23 pm

We've always paid full tuition. We recently ran into some hard times and fell into what feels like a huge amount of debt. Bh life stabilized and we are paying off our debt slowly but surely. I've always hesitated to ask for a break because I don't feel right taking a break if I'm spending money on non-essentials.

We have cut back on our spending drastically but it's not enough and dh feels that we need to ask for a break until we get back on our feet. I'm hesitant cuz I feel like if we really tried we can technically try to cut back a bit more.

I want to hear outside opinions on what's ok to spend on besides basic housing, food etc expenses while getting a tuition break.

amother

Nemesia

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 4:28 pm

I supply my tax returns, a ton of info like how much my vacations, insurance, utilities, cleaning help… cost and let them make a decision. I don’t lie or withhold any income information and I don’t feel guilty taking any break they’re willing to give me.

keym

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 4:30 pm

This is 100% community dependant.

I would say that as long as you're upfront and honest with the tuition committee everything is ethical.
If the tuition committee is ok with giving you a percentage reduced even knowing that you have x many hours a week cleaning help/ y food that you consider a luxury/ this vacation/ model car, whatever.
If you're upfront, it's ok

amother

Wed, Sep 27 2023, 6:16 pm

Thank you. I guess I should just apply and not overthink it. I feel like taking a tuition break means I'll feel guilty every time I spend a few dollars that aren't strictly necessary. I should just let it go.

amother

Linen

Fri, Sep 29 2023, 5:59 am

I feel bad, not guilty, that we get a tuition break but still might spend elsewhere. I might get my kids pizza from the store one night, but if we didn’t get a break, we wouldn’t even be able to buy the cheese to make it myself. Just an example. We live very simply, can’t even afford a car, but do splurge once in awhile.

amother

Honeysuckle

Fri, Sep 29 2023, 6:59 am

Besides for attending to school, kids need to grow up in a normal environment!
Nobody knows what goes on behind the door of your house.
If house is dysfunctional without cleaning lady, then you need a cleaning lady.
If every kid in the school get pizza once on a while, let your kids have pizza once in a while too!
Don't be extreme.
Don't spend on extravagant items. Don't withhold everything and give the feeling to your kids that they're dirt poor!

amother

Lilac

Fri, Sep 29 2023, 8:43 am

If they'll give you a discount, take it. And if you have extra money during the year you can give the school an extra donation

amother

Blushpink

Fri, Sep 29 2023, 8:50 am

amother Lilac wrote:

If they'll give you a discount, take it. And if you have extra money during the year you can give the school an extra donation

This. What I do is I provide a spreadsheet with all of my income and expenses , even extras .
I then let the tuition committee decide.
I also make it a goal to give donations to the school or sponsor things for the school as much as I can throughout the year .

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