Im a slob and a neat freak combined. Ama

amother

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:30 pm

Ask away

amother

Navy

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:32 pm

Are you a perfectionist

amother

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:33 pm

amother Navy wrote:

Are you a perfectionist

Yes

amother

Aconite

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 10:50 pm

Omg! I think this is the most validation I've ever felt in my life so far! This is me!!!!! I never knew such a thing could exist. I thought I was the only wierdo!!

amother

Alyssum

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 11:01 pm

I have a dd who might describe herself this way. Anything she does, needs to be perfect.
But she also leaves lots of things undone…

(I don’t do anything perfectly, but also leave lots undone. So I’m certainly no better.)

amother

Yolk

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 11:02 pm

amother Aconite wrote:

Omg! I think this is the most validation I've ever felt in my life so far! This is me!!!!! I never knew such a thing could exist. I thought I was the only wierdo!!

Me too!

amother

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 11:08 pm

And now im feeling validated because there are more people like me out there.

I really really strive for perfection. I NEED my house to be neat and clean (otherwise I cannot do a thing in my house), my work and anything else I do needs to be done perfectly. I just have inattentive adhd so its impossible for me to stay on top of my messiness. Took me a long time to understand how my brain works, but I learnt to take loads of cleaning help so I can actually function like a decent human being.

amother

Alyssum

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 11:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

I’m with you there, in that I can’t have any hope of focusing on things I need to do, if my house isn’t neat. I can’t think straight in a mess. But my inattentive adhd makes the cleaning so much longer and harder. Can’t afford cleaning help.

amother

Jade

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 11:34 pm

Which parts of your life are neat and which are a mess?

amother

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 11:46 pm

amother Jade wrote:

Which parts of your life are neat and which are a mess?

The biggest mess in my life is my brain.

My house used to be embarrasingly messy, but with enough cleaning help its more or less under control now.

My schedule is usually a mess. Im always last minute with everything, and I constantly forget what I need to do next.

My work (im a creative) is always perfect. But meeting my deadlines is usually when things get messy.

My desk is always a huge mess.

Im very neat in the way I present myself, and the way my kids are dressed.

amother

Orchid

Wed, Oct 04 2023, 11:49 pm

I have exactly the same struggle... I believe it's a combo of ADD and OCD

amother

Maple

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:00 am

This is me as well.

Same traits.

Does it bother you if your towels are not aligned in one direction, are u the type that likes your drawers organized a certain way but struggle with the upkeep?

Do you first clean the most organized room and leave the messiest for last.

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:04 am

amother Maple wrote:

Yes yes and yes.

I've long given up on the towel thing, but back in the day I used to fold them all the same way and put them away in perfect piles, but I rarely ever actually got to fold them 😆

amother

Maple

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:12 am

Lol.
The sight of clutter makes me scatterbrained but I struggle with the upkeep/focus/and routine.

I self diagnosed myself with Adhd and/or Add.

Im incredibly last minute, shabbos prep is always done on friday until zman.

amother

Ultramarine

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:37 am

Wow this is exactly me and nice to see so many people in this struggle!!
Now we need someone that has actually overcome this to do an AMA so we can get advice. Very Happy

Op, did you grow up in a messy home?

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:41 am

amother Ultramarine wrote:

Wow this is exactly me and nice to see so many people in this struggle!!
Now we need someone that has actually overcome this to do an AMA so we can get advice. Very Happy

Op, did you grow up in a messy home?

No I grew up in a very organized home. My mom can't handle that I'm like this 🙈

amother

Aconite

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 12:55 am

Is the only solution to a neat and presentable house lots of cleaning help? Or, how else can I overcome it? It's my biggest struggle right now!

amother

Cyclamen

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 1:38 am

Hi sistas!
No advice
just wanted to say thanks for coming out of the woods

amother

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 1:48 am

amother Aconite wrote:

Is the only solution to a neat and presentable house lots of cleaning help? Or, how else can I overcome it? It's my biggest struggle right now!

Im not sure but this is how I'm coping

awesomewife

Thu, Oct 05 2023, 2:42 am

love this! do not check my house out! sometimes it literally feels like a pigsty!
but when you'll look in my personal closet everthing is beautiffully folded (whatever is put away)
and if I make nice food or supper for someone it will be perfect in nice containers with lids very neat and batampte! and I'll really care about it.
so I feel that I am at heart somewhat a perfectionist but since it takes too much time, patience , and energy (both emotionally and physically) , its too much for me. so its like either an all or nothing kind of thing . like if I dont have time now to perfectly fold all the laundry and the pile is just getting to me , I will dump it into the right drawers just to get it away.

tell me if you relate to this, that the reason we care so much is cuz were scared of what everyone else thinks ,thats where the perfectionist part comes from. its like to prove ourselves, even if we want it in our own personal areas where no one will know if we are slobs or neat freaks.
we want to prove ourselves to ourself that we really are neat and perfectionisty, but alot comes from social pressure like I always have the fear of whats if s/o walks in here!!! no one should know how flying our house is. or we feel like its not measuring up to how our mother,sisters friends' homes/life is .

so I feel like I did get healthier about this and I got more chilled,like I can breathe ,I can live even if things are flying. if I want to cook supper -and there is no way I can do that while the kitchen is wrecked-I will give my self a detailed job of what to clear up quickly, plus sweeping, so that I can cook now.
I think that when I do clean up quickly and just dump e/t back in its spot /or not, I am internally thinking that this is just for now and really one day I will not just dump piles of stuff in that corner or on that shelf ,one day when I get to it,when I have more $ for cleaning and organizing help ,then I will deal with it.but for now it is what it is.
its not easy ,but it gets easier to learn that shabbos can come to a messy house also . even if my house is not perfect,or even very messy, shabbos will come in! I think shabbos and yom tov is a real trigger for us ,no?
but I try to challenge myself to say I will be calm and not let it bother me too much even if I wish it would be perfectly neat