Completely burnt out from my kids

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Forum -> Parenting our children

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amother

Fri, Oct 27 2023, 1:24 pm

I know, there are hostages and I should be grateful to have my kids at home.

But I can't deal with them. I only have a few hours a day and lately I feel like I just want a full time nanny to take care of them bc I just don't want to deal with them.

I already have cleaning help. A hands on husband. The kids have after school activities or playdates etc so most days they're occupied for 1-2 hours after school. I am currently sahm (I'm not that physically well) so I can go back to sleep after the bus comes. I have it very easy.

Before you comment how sad you are and how I'm a bad mother and should go on bc. I've been fighting for over 2 years, fighting for services for diagnoses for help for meds etc for my kids. Taking them to a million appointments. Advocating so hard I'm ready to never hear that word again.

I'm totally burnt out and I don't want to see them or deal with them.

amother

Salmon

Fri, Oct 27 2023, 1:25 pm

Do you have a therapist for yourself? Can you get a mothers helper or more help from your husband if applicable?

#BestBubby

Fri, Oct 27 2023, 1:32 pm

Even an 11-12 year old girl can be very helpful with kids.

Are you suffering depression?

Maybe you need more social stimulation,
Join a gym, go to shiur, art class...

Are you eating healthy, taking vitamins?

amother

Jasmine

Fri, Oct 27 2023, 2:09 pm

You need a vacation.
Even just a day or two. Just to recharge and have some space to yourself.

amother

Steelblue

Fri, Oct 27 2023, 2:12 pm

I totally relate

amother

Lavender

Fri, Oct 27 2023, 2:29 pm

I take a 24-48 hour solo vacation when I feel that way and come back a different person.

amother

Lightyellow

Fri, Oct 27 2023, 2:40 pm

amother Lavender wrote:

I take a 24-48 hour solo vacation when I feel that way and come back a different person.

Yes, I've done that too.
Booked myself into a hotel for two nights and ordered Doordash for food. Didn't talk to anyone but myself.
When I come back, I'm actually happy to see the kids again.

amother

Steel

Fri, Oct 27 2023, 2:41 pm

Get away for a night. Hands on husband. Great! Just take a breather.

octopus

Fri, Oct 27 2023, 2:43 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

I think we really need to stop suggesting getting older kids (now it's 11& 12 year olds as a solution??!!) to helping out mothers who are having difficulty coping. This is way too big of a burden for them to handle. I'm all for teaching chessed but it must always be an appropriate chessed when it comes to children. Why aren't we suggesting that adults use their free time to help out other adults? If someone is overwhelmed ,sending over an 11 or 12 year old or even a teenager for one hour is not going to make things better. And if they need hours of help than that's not really an appropriate burden to put on kids.

amother

Valerian

Fri, Oct 27 2023, 2:55 pm

I also feel this way. The constant needs, sensory overload, kvetching and fighting, it's so draining.
Every morning I wake excited to have a great day as within an hour I feel like running away.
I do not have the luxury of going away for a night. Yes it is a luxury.

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