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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
What are the girls usually doing after seminary
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boysrus




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 31 2023, 5:48 am
amother Coffee wrote:
Where I live the post sem girls take an office job or assistant job & are obsessed with getting married
It’s pathetic


um. that's a little judgemental.
why is it pathetic? Were YOU not obsessed with getting married when you got back from sem? please explain what is pathetic about wanting to move onto the next stage of life. Thanks
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Oct 31 2023, 9:30 am
mha3484 wrote:
I wonder if location matters too. I live in the Midwest and I have a lot of friends with girls that age and its half/half who do TI for a profession or go straight to an office job or teach and most of these are pretty yeshivish.

The girls who dinTI is it in Chicago?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Oct 31 2023, 9:33 am
amother Dahlia wrote:
I went to TI and lived in the dorm. It is now a part of Touro so you get the benefits of a bigger place and the benefits of a small cozy school in the Midwest. I finished my degree in about 3.5 years but did not have a lot of sem credits. Many girls did it in closer to 2 years with sem credits and taking a full course load over two summers. I loved it and would highly recommend for all types (RWMO to yeshivish to chabad to chasidish do well there). Now I have a professional job in the corporate world and earn well and didn't have to go to secular college and sacrifice my standards.

Would you go to stern which in more central in New York or prefer Chicago TI?
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Tue, Oct 31 2023, 2:55 pm
boysrus wrote:
um. that's a little judgemental.
why is it pathetic? Were YOU not obsessed with getting married when you got back from sem? please explain what is pathetic about wanting to move onto the next stage of life. Thanks


I didn’t go to sem

It’s not judgmental. It’s true
I think they should be putting their efforts & extra time in personal growth, seeing what they love to do, have fun, what makes them feel good about themselves ( on the inside),
Instead of being in a crazy competitive rush to get engaged & who’s getting engaged first.
& feeling very ‘old ‘ by the time they turn 21 🙄
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boysrus




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Oct 31 2023, 4:54 pm
amother Coffee wrote:
I didn’t go to sem

It’s not judgmental. It’s true
I think they should be putting their efforts & extra time in personal growth, seeing what they love to do, have fun, what makes them feel good about themselves ( on the inside),
Instead of being in a crazy competitive rush to get engaged & who’s getting engaged first.
& feeling very ‘old ‘ by the time they turn 21 🙄


Re the bolded: sorry, but you are wrong. You ARE being judgmental. Are you suggesting that anyone who gets married within the first couple of years after seminary is 'obsessed with getting married' (your words) and in a contest?
I guess I'm just not understanding.
BH in the community I lived in, it was very common to get married between 18 and 22. therefore when I came back from seminary I was happily ready to date as soon as I had settled down in my new job and college courses. BH I knew what made me happy, (as you say above you think thats important, maybe you just dont realize that a lot of girls actually DO know what they want in life and who they are) BH I got married before I turned 20 and had three children before I was 25. It was never a contest or a 'crazy competitive rush' (your words). I think you're projecting your own negative feelings onto other people's decisions.
I personally am a little offended by your eye rolling and your comment that girls are 'obsessed with getting married' as soon as they get home from Israel. Our ultimate tachlis as a bas yisroel is to be married as soon as we find our basherte and serve Hashem as an aishes ish, then we are complete ,and then we will hopefully become mothers. If our aim in life is to serve Hashem, then the automatic desire when we have finished our formal education is to marry and have a family.
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amother
Blush


 

Post Tue, Oct 31 2023, 5:11 pm
boysrus wrote:
Re the bolded: sorry, but you are wrong. You ARE being judgmental. Are you suggesting that anyone who gets married within the first couple of years after seminary is 'obsessed with getting married' (your words) and in a contest?
I guess I'm just not understanding.
BH in the community I lived in, it was very common to get married between 18 and 22. therefore when I came back from seminary I was happily ready to date as soon as I had settled down in my new job and college courses. BH I knew what made me happy, (as you say above you think thats important, maybe you just dont realize that a lot of girls actually DO know what they want in life and who they are) BH I got married before I turned 20 and had three children before I was 25. It was never a contest or a 'crazy competitive rush' (your words). I think you're projecting your own negative feelings onto other people's decisions.
I personally am a little offended by your eye rolling and your comment that girls are 'obsessed with getting married' as soon as they get home from Israel. [b]Our ultimate tachlis as a bas yisroel is to be married as soon as we find our basherte and serve Hashem as an aishes ish, then we are complete ,and then we will hopefully become mothers. If our aim in life is to serve Hashem, then the automatic desire when we have finished our formal education is to marry and have a family.[/b]


I am wondering if you can provide a source for what you have written. What about women who aren't zoche to find their bashert or raise a family or choose not to because it is the better choice for them? Maybe that was your tachlis, don't make it everyone's tachlis.
And I am not sure why you are getting so offended. It is not always so healthy for girls to get married so young, especially if they are doing so because of societal pressure. It is extremely beneficial for many if not most (if not all!) to wait a bit, do some introspection and grow into themselves a bit more.

I say this as someone who got married in my upper 20s and then waited for children. And I was very much fulfilling my "ultimate tachlis as a bas yisrael" at the same time.
And OP, to answer your question, what does your daughter want to do? When I came back from seminary, I went to college and started dating around a year later. I also worked part-time.
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