My DH Isn’t Smart and Can’t Find a Job

amother

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 3:42 pm

(Lakewood, NJ) My DH is an amazing and caring man with excellent middos. However, he is more than a little slow and does not present well. He’s recently left kollel and we’ve been trying to get him a job.

Unfortunately, since he is not the brightest, he has not been successful. Does anyone have advice or ideas of what we can do? We really need the money and it would be good for his self-esteem.

Thank you.

amother

Diamond

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 3:45 pm

Can he be a driver? Long distance or local. For himself or a frum company?

Can he work for a caterer?

Can he do ABA for a school?

amother

Clover

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 3:48 pm

I understand that this may be the metzius of the situation, but please remove the words from your head “he’s not smart”
Instead, keep repeating his qualities in your head over and over. You don’t even need to say them out loud
Hashem didn’t need to give brains to give Parnassa
Both of these are in the hands of Hashem!

nightingale1

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 3:50 pm

More important than smarts is a good work ethic. If he has wonderful middos, he will probably do well in this area

amother

Blue

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 3:52 pm

He can work for lakeway if he drives well.
Or npgs or another grocery store
Maybe oorah
Or as a mashgiach-

If he is a genuinely kind person, he will be cherished wherever he works.

amother

Lemon

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 3:53 pm

What are his talents? What is he good at? I have relatives who flunked through school but they are doing relatively well at work... is he good with his hands? Does he like cooking? Can he learn to drive a bus? (Very in demand in Lakewood and decent money).

amother

Phlox

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 3:54 pm

Is there something he likes to do, does well in it, and it can earn him some money?

effess

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 3:54 pm

If he’s hard working and kind, that’ll get him much further than brains.

Is he good with his hands? He can go into construction

I can thinking of so many job ideas:
Mailman
Truck driver (needs a course)
Grocery stores need lots of workers, some are better paying than others depending on position.
Chef or assistant chef
Head waiter
Building manager
Security guard

amother

Canary

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 3:54 pm

Bus driver sounds like a great idea. Does he have any hobbies or interests? That’s a good place to start.

amother

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 3:54 pm

amother Diamond wrote:

Can he be a driver? Long distance or local. For himself or a frum company?

Can he work for a caterer?

Can he do ABA for a school?

He’s done a little bit of driving for a company called Lakeway but he’s looking for something full-time. And a W2.
He’s willing to work for a caterer but I don’t have any connections and don’t know who to approach.
He can’t go to school, he’ll fail.

#BestBubby

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 3:55 pm

Everybody is good at something.

What does DH enjoy?

Consult a career counselor who specialize in matching careers to people strengths.

They also help make resume and coach interview skills, how to dress for success.

Having good middos is very, very important in keeping a job.

Also being careful, reliable, ( no excessive lateness or absences), honest.

amother

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 3:55 pm

amother Lemon wrote:

Those are smart things to consider, thank you.

amother

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 3:56 pm

effess wrote:

These are all amazing ideas, thank you!

amother

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 4:01 pm

For catering or restaurants, does anyone have any resources or contact information of someone I can reach out to who can help?

amother

Mulberry

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 4:03 pm

Has your husband ever worked? What is he good at?
Would he be a mashigiach? A tutor? A rebbe?
Plumber? electrician? appliance repair?

amother

Magenta

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 4:11 pm

Is he a go getter? Responsible? Many jobs need this vs brains. Is he organized?

He can work in warehouses let’s say, will echo construction. Not at all do all jobs need good representation and smarts

amother

Mustard

Tue, Oct 31 2023, 4:14 pm

Schools have many jobs that fit all capabilities.