Names for body parts and bodily functions (merged)

proudmom

Wed, Oct 27 2004, 8:58 pm

My 3 year old daughter she calls a girls private part a tushi and for a boys private part a tuchis I want to know if I should correct her and tell her the right way or is it too young for her right now?

Motek

Wed, Oct 27 2004, 9:13 pm

I'll add a more general question - what should these parts be called?

isn't the Torah approach to use euphemisms?

in kalla class, as in halacha, a woman's private part is called "oso makom" - "that place"

I did not grow up calling it anything at all. Why does it have to be named?

proudmom

Wed, Oct 27 2004, 9:23 pm

She is associating the parts in the wrong way so I just want to know when should I correct her. I am not introducing it to her she understands what the difference is between a boy and a girl and she is associating the private parts incorrectly so I just want to know when I can correct her. For example if she would call a hand a leg I would correct her so is this the same thing?

Motek

Wed, Oct 27 2004, 9:29 pm

don't see why you can't say, no, that's not what it's called, but then she'll ask you - what do we call it?

and your answer is?

how about: That's a part we keep covered and we don't need to call it anything

will that work, do you think?

gryp

Wed, Oct 27 2004, 9:40 pm

I am looking for the most appropirate tzniusdik name and I cant
settle on one I am comfortable with.
psychologists (not Jewish of course) say you should have names
and accurate ones so the kid understands whats happening.

Last edited by gryp on Mon, May 23 2005, 11:26 am; edited 1 time in total

micki

Wed, Oct 27 2004, 10:01 pm

whats wrong with calling it a peepee? for boys and girls? but girls have different peepees than boys do. simple.
I don't believe in calling it "that place" becasue it has a name. and if your daughter comes in saying "my that place hurts" you and she will think its nuts. call it a peepee and yes correct her, same as you would an arm/leg.
its a body part.

Motek

Wed, Oct 27 2004, 10:10 pm

Rochel Leah - that's fine, it's just that the posters are asking what to call the body parts

Quote:

whats wrong with calling it a peepee? for boys and girls? but girls have different peepees than boys do. simple.

I'd feel pretty stupid calling it that.

Quote:

don't believe in calling it "that place" becasue it has a name.

I wouldn't recommend calling it "that place" either. I only said that to show that the Torah approach is not to name it! I don't see why you have to name these parts.

Quote:

its a body part.

the Torah refers to arms, legs, eyes, etc. but not to these parts by name

Yael

Wed, Oct 27 2004, 10:24 pm

proudmom wrote:

Micki my daughter calls her private part a tushi and my sons private part a tuchas I cant call it peepee because that is still not teh right words for it either

why not?
it makes perfect sense to me to call them both a pee pee. thats how I grew up, there is no "right words" for a child's level, call it whatever you want. I once read a joke where a girl called a tush a tutu, and she was in public once and called out that lady's tutu is soo big!! the mother was grateful that they used an "out of the ordinary" word. so people didnt get it.
and yes you do have to have a word for it. how else can you refer to it?
your child needs to have a way to tell you if something hurts her down there.

micki

Wed, Oct 27 2004, 10:25 pm

but proud it IS the right name for it! the private part is called in baby language is peepee! no need for real terms until they are married?

yes correct- I would say "no this is your tushi, and this is your pee pee. your brother also has a tusi just like yours but HIS peepee looks different. "
keep it simple and she'll believe you.

and motek if YOU as an adult to adult called it peepee -ya I can see why you'd feel dumb. but to a kid? why do we say hentelach and shichalach. why say tot (lishtot) because thats their language level.

when you teach them about body functions teach them the real word. but if my 8 yr old were to ask me if pp is the real word I'd correct and tell them the real word...
why make an issue of it?

Ozmom

Wed, Oct 27 2004, 10:37 pm

Motek the problem with not teaching your kids the right name or a name at all for their body parts is that if when they are in the care of others and something is hurting them they need a word that everyone will understand. for example there are lots of slang words for aiver that not everyone understands. There could chas ve sholom be something dangerouse happening to a kids aiver and he may be in the care of others and they would have trouble ascertaining what the problem was.
My son knows that his aiver is a aiver. The key point is that they should know what its called. He doesn't have to go around saying the word and if I don't make a big issue out of it then he wont have the desire to. If I start saying "shush, don't say that word" I can just imagine he will be saying it over and over again!

As far as the words the Torah uses. Its a holy place and it would be out of place to use private words. I don't think its intended as an instruction for how to teach our kids about their anatomy.

Nechama

Thu, Oct 28 2004, 2:00 am

My 2 cents.
We call the front part "pishy" for both girls and boys.
and the back part a "tushy".
I have explained to my children, that, just like there are inny belly buttons and outie belly buttons, there are inny pishies and outie pishies. Girls get innies and boys get outies (regarding pishies, not belly buttons lol).
Once my eldest son, when he was a little boy, commented that his sister did not have a pishy. I answered "Oh yeah? Then how does she pish?" That is how it started. It has worked for us. And there are differentiations between rectum and front part. So I know what they are talking about if something hurts.
And we do not 'have to' use anatomical language. They do know those words but I have never heard them use them.

Motek

Thu, Oct 28 2004, 10:55 am

my siblings and I grew up without naming these body parts

I see no need to assign them names for the possible scenarios you described

Quote:

As far as the words the Torah uses. Its a holy place and it would be out of place to use private words. I don't think its intended as an instruction for how to teach our kids about their anatomy.

as the Rebbe reiterated umpteen times, Torah is from the root that means instructions, and everything in it, and how it's worded, provides lessons for us

there's a sicha on this particular subject, about "lashon nekiya" (clean language) on parshas Noach, about how the impure animals are referred to as "animals that are not pure" rather than "impure animals". And that's just with the words "tamei" and "tahor"!

isn't it incredible that when the Torah gives the mitzva of circumcision, it doesn't say what body part the circumcision is done on? Rashi tells us (17:14) that from the words "arel zachar" we learn that "the mila is done in that place where you can see the difference between a male and a female. "

Not only does the Torah not use the word, but neither does Rashi, when explaining it.

Children should not be told what it's called (by non jews), as this is not the Jewish way.

Tefila

Thu, Oct 28 2004, 8:41 pm

When training kids all u have to say is did you or do you need make dirty or wet. The torah is very careful on how it describes body parts there is nonething wrong calling it a boys bris and girls private for the body parts names and noone makes fun of them and as they get older thru other kids they anyway learn real names but in our house in our mikdash we are carefull with the language we use even with babys.

Last edited by Tefila on Tue, Nov 02 2004, 3:29 pm; edited 2 times in total

Rochel Leah

Thu, Oct 28 2004, 10:13 pm

Frielich, if they are going to anyways hear it from other people, why not it be from you. You could tell them when they reacha certain age , and tell them , you will hear others use these terms, but we as frum yidden dont use them cuz if they are going to learn the names of private parts from their friends, they are going to be educated about other things to- would you not be the one to talk to them about the facts of life etc...?

amother

Thu, Oct 28 2004, 10:23 pm

Quote:

Children should not be told what it's called (by non jews), as this is not the Jewish way

I think thats a bit extreme. its what its called in english. not by non jews. if you want to name it in hebrew then would it be less non jewish? there is a word in hebrew for a reason, I dont know about yiddish, does anyone know?

Motek

Fri, Oct 29 2004, 7:59 am

Quote:

if you want to name it in hebrew then would it be less non jewish? there is a word in hebrew for a reason, I dont know about yiddish, does anyone know?

the point is there is no word for it in lashon ha'kodesh or the wording in the Gemara and later sources

they use "eiver" (limb) for the man
and "ze ha'makom" or "oso makom" for the woman (also a Rashi in Chumash)

if you know a word in hebrew or yiddish, and there are words in those languages, it's because it's modern ivrit and slang in yiddish

yiddishe mammas definitely did not use the yiddish vulgarity with their children!