On loss of dear ones

S1959

Thu, Dec 14 2023, 8:22 am

*Sivan Rahav-Meir / The Daily Portion / “If I got up this morning, there’s a reason behind it”*

* Translation by Yehoshua Siskin (yeshoshua.siskin@gmail.com)

These are difficult days. So many dear people have fallen. I was privileged to speak with *Orit Mark-Etinger* at a joint lecture in Jerusalem where I received coping tools. Orit lost her father Rav Michi who was murdered in a terrorist attack, her brother Shlomi who was in the Mossad, her cousin Elchanan Kalmenson who rescued so may from Kibbutz Be’eri on Simchat Torah, and now her brother Pdaya Mark in Gaza. The following words, when spoken by her, were especially powerful:

* “I can cry all day long, and I do cry a lot, that’s important, but I tell myself all the time: If I lost four dear souls and am still alive — I am obligated to give meaning to this reality. If I got up this morning and I am alive — there’s a good reason behind it. All those who fell — they are in a good place. We are the ones who must cope. And those who are up above would want us to experience goodness and to do good.

* I have an outstanding psychologist, but God is also my psychologist. I speak with Him all the time, share with Him, make requests, and am not ashamed to nag Him.

* I was raised in a home that was full of faith. My amazing parents taught me to be enthusiastic and joyful about every little thing, to see light within the darkness, to hope for the best, to always find points of light. For example: The Shiva for my brother Pdaya was the fourth Shiva, following those of my father, another brother, and a cousin, and suddenly I found myself telling my siblings: You know there are people who have no home. They are evacuees. They are sitting Shiva in a hotel without a room of their own where they can go and cry. We are grateful that we have a home.

* If I lost four dear souls and am still alive — I must give that meaning. After all the I have endured, I want to give meaning to this pain, that it will help me to help others. Each time we feel pain and endure a crisis we need to tell ourselves: Let this feeling not be in vain.”

Thank you, Orit, may you hear only good news.

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