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amother
OP
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 Mon, Dec 25 2023, 10:23 pm
I was scrolling through Instagram when I kept getting these popup ads, I clicked into 1 of them and was taken to movie, I think this is what they call romance movie, but honestly, it's the first time I watched a non jewish movie. I'm a pretty sheltered girl and have never been exposed to this. After this movie, another one came up, and watched that as well. I gotta say it was Soo good. But now I can't stop thinking about those actors. I've never known what it means to be attracted to a different male. They were Soo handsome and s-xy and their demeanor was so attractive. I feel Soo disgusted about myself. I have an amazing husband bh and a nice relations life, but I can't helping thinking about them, I even went back to be the movie to see the male actors again.
Is this a normal feeling? I've never seen anything before so I have no idea if anyone else feels this way, is it because I just finished watched and it will dissipate over time?
The movie I watched is called the double life of my billionaire husband, and sweet love revenge marriage. Wondering if anyone saw them and is this considered a clean movie?
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amother
Currant
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 10:25 pm
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yes your normal. it a movie not real life. you prob dont look like the girls in the movies either. (at-least I don't)
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amother
Dustypink
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 10:26 pm
Lol, these are relations and romance stories designed to make you feel that way.
It's not a movie, it's an app that makes money off people's obsession for dirty romance.
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amother
Heather
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 10:27 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I was scrolling through Instagram when I kept getting these popup ads, I clicked into 1 of them and was taken to movie, I think this is what they call romance movie, but honestly, it's the first time I watched a non jewish movie. I'm a pretty sheltered girl and have never been exposed to this. After this movie, another one came up, and watched that as well. I gotta say it was Soo good. But now I can't stop thinking about those actors. I've never known what it means to be attracted to a different male. They were Soo handsome and s-xy and their demeanor was so attractive. I feel Soo disgusted about myself. I have an amazing husband bh and a nice relations life, but I can't helping thinking about them, I even went back to be the movie to see the male actors again.
Is this a normal feeling? I've never seen anything before so I have no idea if anyone else feels this way, is it because I just finished watched and it will dissipate over time?
The movie I watched is called the double life of my billionaire husband, and sweet love revenge marriage. Wondering if anyone saw them and is this considered a clean movie? |
No, they don’t sound clean. To want to be with them isn’t normal, to want to have a romantic life like theirs with your husband is another thing.
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amother
Foxglove
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 10:27 pm
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Google told me it’s a mini series not a move so I can’t see a rating but if it’s. A romance I can’t see it being super clean.
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 10:37 pm
| amother Currant wrote: | | yes your normal. it a movie not real life. you prob dont look like the girls in the movies either. (at-least I don't) |
So the weird thing about the brain is that it can accept what it sees as real and thats why a movie elicits such an emotional response.
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amother
Caramel
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 10:45 pm
It totally is normal to fantasize about being with them- they choose those actors for that reason! It keeps you emotionally connected to the movie which in the
Movie producing world is what is considered a good movie.
Movies play with your emotions. Keep it in mind if you keep watching movies, bc slowly you maybe feel your tayvah for other men growing. The beauty of Jewish marriage is that it’s Kadosh- exclusive. You think your husband is perfect in the bedroom bc you haven’t been with anyone else to compare them to, etc.
I’m sorry for your struggle. It’s hard.
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 10:45 pm
| amother OP wrote: | I was scrolling through Instagram when I kept getting these popup ads, I clicked into 1 of them and was taken to movie, I think this is what they call romance movie, but honestly, it's the first time I watched a non jewish movie. I'm a pretty sheltered girl and have never been exposed to this. After this movie, another one came up, and watched that as well. I gotta say it was Soo good. But now I can't stop thinking about those actors. I've never known what it means to be attracted to a different male. They were Soo handsome and s-xy and their demeanor was so attractive. I feel Soo disgusted about myself. I have an amazing husband bh and a nice relations life, but I can't helping thinking about them, I even went back to be the movie to see the male actors again.
Is this a normal feeling? I've never seen anything before so I have no idea if anyone else feels this way, is it because I just finished watched and it will dissipate over time?
The movie I watched is called the double life of my billionaire husband, and sweet love revenge marriage. Wondering if anyone saw them and is this considered a clean movie? |
Forget your feelings, remember these are actors who acted this way for money, they have NOTHING to do with each other the second the director calls "cut" they have to expose themselves to doing stuff with strangers that the Torah teaches us is not for us. They usually look totally different IRL and would never dress, behave or do those stuff. Many are repulsed by their characters but hey, a job is a job..
Remember these people are" nisht for mir". Normal isnt the issue.
You are you.
By indulging in these vivid imaginary world , you are distancing yourself from THIS world.
Studies prove this ( https://neurosciencenews.com/r.....3075/) (https://josephgibson-63985.medium.com/be-wary-your-brain-doesnt-know-the-difference-between-reality-and-imagination-aba463709bda)
If you are so upset about the affect watching these movies and obsession over the actors, you should seek other venues for your free time.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 11:00 pm
| amother Dustypink wrote: | Lol, these are relations and romance stories designed to make you feel that way.
It's not a movie, it's an app that makes money off people's obsession for dirty romance. |
It's a movie In a app. Is that a big difference? And is this considered dirty romance?
Excuse my ignorance..
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amother
OP
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 11:02 pm
| B'Syata D'Shmya wrote: | Forget your feelings, remember these are actors who acted this way for money, they have NOTHING to do with each other the second the director calls "cut" they have to expose themselves to doing stuff with strangers that the Torah teaches us is not for us. They usually look totally different IRL and would never dress, behave or do those stuff. Many are repulsed by their characters but hey, a job is a job..
Remember these people are" nisht for mir". Normal isnt the issue.
You are you.
By indulging in these vivid imaginary world , you are distancing yourself from THIS world.
Studies prove this ( https://neurosciencenews.com/r.....3075/) (https://josephgibson-63985.medium.com/be-wary-your-brain-doesnt-know-the-difference-between-reality-and-imagination-aba463709bda)
If you are so upset about the affect watching these movies and obsession over the actors, you should seek other venues for your free time. |
I'm just wondering, how is it that they have nothing with each other afterwards? Hey, they're non jews, they can be with whoever they would like, and have fun with them as well. How do u kiss someone so much , be together in soo many intimate settings and then not have anything? I'm attracted when watching them, how can they not?
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Genius
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 11:14 pm
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There are at least twenty people standing around them just out of the camera’s angle. Not very romantic at all. look at any behind the scenes clip to see what I mean.
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 11:41 pm
| Genius wrote: | | There are at least twenty people standing around them just out of the camera’s angle. Not very romantic at all. look at any behind the scenes clip to see what I mean. |
And possibly their wives....
The kisses are usually angled to look more intimate than they are.
Some actors have complained that their kissing partner reeks of smoke or garlic but still have to act romantic.
Blemishes are air brushed.
IMHO intimacy should be just that , intimate.
It's not an issue of never haven been with another so no one to compare, it's that when kissed by someone who is committed and loving and only yours, it makes the kiss special. Two actors kissing is a shadow of the real thing.
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 11:44 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I'm just wondering, how is it that they have nothing with each other afterwards? Hey, they're non jews, they can be with whoever they would like, and have fun with them as well. How do u kiss someone so much , be together in soo many intimate settings and then not have anything? I'm attracted when watching them, how can they not? |
Because they may personally hate that actor/ress.....the people are NOT what the portray.
Also, that kissing isn't fun for them. It's their job.
Maximum Bialik did mention this problem that you bring up - regarding her wedding scene in Big Bang. I am not a fan of hers or the series so I can quote it.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 11:45 pm
| B'Syata D'Shmya wrote: | And possibly their wives....
The kisses are usually angled to look more intimate than they are.
Some actors have complained that their kissing partner reeks of smoke or garlic but still have to act romantic.
Blemishes are air brushed.
IMHO intimacy should be just that , intimate.
It's not an issue of never haven been with another so no one to compare, it's that when kissed by someone who is committed and loving and only yours, it makes the kiss special. Two actors kissing is a shadow of the real thing. |
It's true what you're saying that when being intimate or kissed, it should be with someone who really loves you, and is committed. But by mom Jewish ppl, it's very common to be intimate with even those that are not committed to u, or love u. What's the whole thing with a harlot? Even just boy friends and girl friends, they have multiple ones.
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 11:48 pm
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B'Syata D'Shmya
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Mon, Dec 25 2023, 11:49 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | It's true what you're saying that when being intimate or kissed, it should be with someone who really loves you, and is committed. But by mom Jewish ppl, it's very common to be intimate with even those that are not committed to u, or love u. What's the whole thing with a harlot? Even just boy friends and girl friends, they have multiple ones. |
There are harlots mentioned in our holy Torah....
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amother
Watermelon
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Tue, Dec 26 2023, 12:52 am
Take aways are so interesting. I have grown up watching movies my entire life. I don’t have a filter and I have never watched anything I would be embarrassed to tell someone about. I am my own maschiach in my kitchen and on my computer/phone/TV.
Tonight we watched a Hallmark holiday movie and my take away was I can’t believe that in the hotel, the widowed dad let his kid jump on the bed with shoes on. It is not your bed for jumping and with shoes no less, that is disgusting. Have some middot and treat other people’s property with respect.
It might just be my personality or the fact that it was never taboo like that in my world.
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amother
Watermelon
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Tue, Dec 26 2023, 12:56 am
You ask about actors kissing.
Have you ever had a pedicure with a foot massage? Has your husband ever messaged your feet when you came back from the Mikva? I’m hoping the experience was not the same for you.
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amother
Lotus
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Tue, Dec 26 2023, 1:02 am
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OP, it sounds like what you watched might have been more intense than a typical romance movie. I'm not 100% sure what you watched, but there is a difference between romance and smut.
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Dolly Welsh
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Tue, Dec 26 2023, 1:08 am
If I put a wax apple on your plate, it would look really pretty, but if you ate it, you would throw up.
I'm BT. Was raised secular, became frum later in life.
I know what I'm talking about.
Guard your eyes and brain.
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