Leaving behind kids to go on vacation

amother

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 10:35 pm

Hi all,
Ive never been away on vacation for even a day or two alone just me and my husband, it just never worked out.
Wondering what y'all think of leaving behind my 2 little kiddos just so I can get 2/3 days away with hubby alone.. I know my baby will be miserable and ill miss her like anything and prob cry at night thinking abt her and sok will I miss my toddler.. but I still desperately need a vacay with hub!
do the benefits of going away for short while outweigh the downside of leaving behind kids, risking them x being too happy and missing them like nuts??

happy7

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 10:37 pm

Yes. You should do what you can to get away.
Hire child care and go away.
You might be surprised to find that you will actually NOT cry from being away from them.
(Maybe if you went for a week, but not for two nights.)

amother

NeonGreen

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 10:38 pm

You know yourself better than we do. If you are holding where you will be miserable crying at night feeling awful about leaving them behind, then there's no point in going.

amother

Peach

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 10:41 pm

How old are your kids? I personally don't leave kids before around age 4. When we have little babies, it's not the right time for parents to go on vacation.
If you feel like you must go, then only leave the kids somewhere they're extremely familiar & comfortable at & only if you know your kids will do well when you're away.
If you know that your baby will be miserable,
then do not leave her behind.

fig

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 10:48 pm

I was told that till a baby/child can understand what’s going on - can cause trauma..Under 3 years I would assume.

amother

Daphne

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 10:49 pm

I’d only do it if leaving I’m care of grandparents or super close aunt. I personally wouldn’t be comfortable or able to enjoy with any other arrangement

amother

Bronze

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 10:53 pm

amother OP wrote:

3 and 15months

Too young. Wait another year.
Or leave toddler and take baby.
Unless there is a bubby who they love dearly and know really well.

amother

Taupe

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 10:54 pm

I have left my kids that age even a bit younger with my parents, they see them all the time and were very happy while we were gone. It’s amazing for my marriage and for myself.
My grandparents did this for my parents when I was a kid and my parents very much encourage it for their married kids. We only leave babies that sleep through the night and between everyone’s schedules it only happens every couple of years or so but it’s a priority for us.

lucky14

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 11:09 pm

amother Bronze wrote:

Too young. Wait another year.
Or leave toddler and take baby.
Unless there is a bubby who they love dearly and know really well.

I wouldn’t leave toddler and take baby. Could cause jealousy. (Plus it doesn’t sound like the kind of vacation that would be helpful to OP anyway).

amother

Impatiens

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 11:27 pm

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer it depends if you have someone you trust to watch them. We do leave our kids with our parents to have vacation and we don’t regret it. The kids are difficult after and let us know that they aren’t pleased with our decision but they are fine and it’s worth it for us. Don’t go if you are gonna cry for your kids the whole time. That won’t be worth it for anyone. Go if you can relax and enjoy your husband and not worry about your kids and be in the moment.

If you can’t go away for three days even getting an babysitter to do bedtime and being away for a full day and part of the evening can be really nice

amother

Leaf

Tue, Jan 02 2024, 11:59 pm

They are too young. Wait a year at least. A 15 month old is a baby and belongs with their mother. A toddler I would leave with a close grandparent for one night.

amother

Anemone

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 12:04 am

What do you think? What does your gut tell you?
At the end of the day you’re the child’s mother and I think you should listen to your inner voice.
Personally I don’t even leave my 15 month old with my husband if I go to visit my parents in another state (and not because he can’t care for her).
I have left a 20 month old toddler with my husband for a couple of nights and we have never left such young kids without either parent around.
But what does that help you?
We had a very heated thread here recently about someone who wanted to leave her bottle-taking six week old, maybe someone can link it if you want more strong opinions about children and vacations…

tree of life

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 12:30 am

Maybe plan a stay vacation not the same but a mini break till kids are little bigger if the kids are in daycare then pay to extend the day with people they no
Then order breakfast and lunch to your house and maybe mini outing do this for few days
When kids come home from school put them to bed and continue to date each other

amother

Khaki

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 2:13 am

Op if you need it and have someone close to leave your children with do it!!!!

5 years ago I left my 16 month with my sister for 3 days. It was the best thing we did, haven't managed to have a holiday since and it is something we still talk about.
I thought it will be harder for me but my sister sent us some photos and videos which made it even nicer. She had a fun time and had a rested ima and abba who returned to give her loads of hugs and attention.

Alot of people are against it but for some children it's better to go to family or friends for 3 day than to have a burnt out ima who dreams of having a bit of time to refresh.

DrMom

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 2:25 am

Personally, I would wait another year or two before leaving children with anyone for a few days, and then only with a close trusted relative.

Then again, I like vacationing with kids, esp when they are of the age that they still nap in strollers.

salt

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 2:30 am

In my opinion, a child who is too young to understand conversations or talk, doesn't disturb the quality time, and we take them with.

tehilap

Wed, Jan 03 2024, 3:17 am

Dont leave a baby that will be miserable,Maybe go for just one night if that will do it for you, if you could pull it of it is the best thing ever for you and your marrage and your kids.