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Forum -> Parenting our children
Please help- I think I messed up



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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jan 14 2024, 12:52 pm
I just had „the talk“ with my 3rd child.
It’s an 11 y.o. boy who is starting to develop.

I learned that you need to have the talk with them before they are developed and then you had to tell them everything including where babies come from.

So I did. I explained what is happening in his body and then I explained about intimacy.

He was very uncomfortable, he asked why he needed to know about it. I explained that since he uses gadgets and his friends do to, then I want him to hear a proper version from me.

But I could see that he didn’t want to know it.
I have never had such a reaction with a child so far. He seems to be physically more advanced than cognitively.

How do I go past the awkwardness? Anyone BTDT?
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jan 14 2024, 1:00 pm
You didn't mess up. Some kids need time to warm up. Each child is different and we don't always realize that until they show us that they are their own person.

Ease into it. Mention something again in passing about the conversation when the opportunity comes up maybe in 2 months from now. Don't shut down the conversation but don't overwhelm him. Just throw little things in here and there, he will get more comfortable on his own timeline. Just be open and natural and he will come around when he's ready.

Keep it chill and he will be grateful eventually.
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amother
Clematis


 

Post Sun, Jan 14 2024, 1:15 pm
Maybe he would be more comfortable speaking to your husband instead of you? Also there’s a great Jewish book out there called boys to men. Dh read it and it outlines how to talk to boys about puberty and stuff. He started speaking to ds based on what book says and was really impressed.
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amother
Apple


 

Post Sun, Jan 14 2024, 2:03 pm
You didn't mess up. Most kids are a little grossed out when they first learn it.
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