Lying to your kids

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Forum -> Parenting our children

Lying to your kids

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amother

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 6:30 pm

Do you lie to your kids?

On another thread someone wrote that her sister called sweet potatoes, potatoes sweet so that her child should eat them.
My mil also nonchalantly lies about little things, like the brown spots on bananas are honey and the big container yogurt says ‘for adults only’ cuz she wants the kids to eat from the pouches.
Harmless lies I guess.

It bothers me so much. Why lie?? Can’t you tell a child ‘I don’t want you eating from this yogurt, but these pouches are for you!’ Or the brown spots on bananas are just that and they taste almost the same but if you don’t like it you don’t have to eat them.

So easy. I hate the whole casualness of lying to kids.

amother

Mintcream

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 6:32 pm

I don't see how calling sweet potato another name is lying. Otherwise, I agree with you.

amother

Currant

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 7:52 pm

I say that the brown spots make the banana sweeter. (If they don’t like they obviously don’t have to eat)

I also say I’m allergic to kvetching and whining Smile

amother

Chocolate

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 7:53 pm

amother Currant wrote:

I say that the brown spots make the banana sweeter. (If they don’t like they obviously don’t have to eat)

I also say I’m allergic to kvetching and whining Smile

It’s true that the brown spots make the banana sweeter. Why is it a lie?

amother

Lightgray

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 7:57 pm

The brown spots on bananas are basically a more concentrated form of sugar. They are sweeter

amother

Currant

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 8:01 pm

amother Chocolate wrote:

It’s true that the brown spots make the banana sweeter. Why is it a lie?

It’s not a lie.

I was posting an alternative way of explaining it

amother

Moccasin

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 8:13 pm

Op I am fully against lying however what you describe your mil and fam doing is so benign it beggars the imagination
To describe that as your mil “nonchalantly lying “ says more about you than her
Would suggest you consider some introspection
And if this is your biggest complaint then perhaps consider farginning
Hatzlocha

Trademark

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 8:49 pm

The yogurts are for adults only is not a lie if in her house it's only for adults.

contextual

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 9:00 pm

There's a difference between withholding important information from kids (true lying) and making up harmless "facts" that they'll laugh about when they get older.
That is a good distinction, actually:
Will they feel resentful when they get older, that you told them something that wasn't true?
Or will they think it's funny that you got them to eat bananas with brown spots by telling them it's honey?

You don't have to do this kind of "lying" that she does.
But it's not a true lie.

Sunflower11

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 9:03 pm

I really should try not to but sometimes that can get nice and tough

cupcake123

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 9:09 pm

I agree with you op. I try to never lie to my kids even for little things

acemom

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 9:32 pm

My MIL is still with the school of thought of lying about how babies are born. That's how you have kids upset about the mother "choosing" a sick baby from the "baby store" aka hospital.

Certain situations call for "white lies", especially with young kids, but I try to be as truthful as possible.

amother

Catmint

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 9:38 pm

I generally don't use white lies, I'd rather not ruin their trust even if it'll be funny eventually. I have no way of knowing when or how they'll find out the 'real' version of things, I'd rather they just hear it from me.
The only times I do use these little lies I'd when they're really little and I'd rather not traumatize them with tmi.

amother

Snow

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 9:47 pm

Yep. Someone told my son that eating the crusts of the bread will make his teeth strong.
He's 4, that age when everything starts with emes, Mommy I'm going to have strong teeth...? and I'm like uh ....

tigerwife

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 9:47 pm

The kids pick up on it. Then they learn to lie as well.

amother

Zinnia

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 9:50 pm

contextual wrote:

I agree with all of this.

Little kids aren’t logical like adults. They can’t see beyond the horrible looking brown spots to decide if they like it or not. But you call it honey, and their minds suddenly see it differently.

Saying sweet potatoes or potatoes sweet is literally no different, not sure how that’s considered a lie. And saying some yogurts are “for adults only” is exactly what it is.

All this depends the age too. Hopefully no one’s trying to lie like this to a 10 year old. But I think it’s perfectly fine to say it to a kid who’s 3 or 4.

salt

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 3:47 am

Many years ago, when I was in school, and the nurse would come and check our hair for lice - they would always say that lice is more attracted to clean hair.

About 20 years later I realized that was a lie to make the girls with lice feel better about themselves, and for others not to look at them as dirty.

amother

Forestgreen

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 4:01 am

salt wrote:

Ummm.... that's not a lie
https://www.mayoclinichealthsy.....tact.

Brit in Israel

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 4:44 am

salt wrote:

Lice are not attracted to dirty hair anymore than clean hair, it's blood type, hair type and other factors.

amother

Petunia

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 5:42 am

We call the brown spots on bananas honey too, but as an adjective, as in soo sweet, not as if it's actual bee's (or date?) honey... I never thought of it as a lie! I don't outright lie to my kids unless it's obviously a joke (like don't make that face, the wind will change and you'll be stuck like that, which is a confirmed joke!) I think it's annoying to find out things aren't true when your older, makes you feel like you weren't respected.

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