Does this sound like Hf ASD?

amother

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 10:47 am

adult male,
very very scheduled and organized, but not necessarily neat.
anything added to his routine any small extra is sort of a stress and something to plan out even weeks earlier like how he will arrange and change his daily schedule. not that he can't enjoy a simcha e.t.c. but it will take up mental space sort of...
his way is the right way.
cannot understand when ppl are not timely and scheduled, has a hard time understanding ppl on a lower level in yiddishkeit,
not ocd with halachas, but maybe almost and other ppl are just not doing it right...
if he doesn't feel like certain part of taking care of personal hygiene is important, than it's not important
not understanding social rules, cues, poor social skills
I really think something is off when I listen to him having conversations with ppl...
he will converse better with younger or really older from him...
like by a simcha he will sit down next to uncles or zeidy rather than brothers or brother in laws..
he will mostly enjoy talking about topics of his interest and will not realize but mostly talk about himself, bring up something about him...or something ppl will wow him for knowing / saying...
doesn't pick up how foolish he sounds as an adult when he is like almost begging for attention, aknowledgement and compliments
won't openly brag about himself but almost
enjoys to be different and stand out
he can talk about something and not pick up that listeners are not interested in this topic..
I've seen many times ppl smirking behind his back but he wouldn't pick up, and will have no understanding as to why .
booksmart, extraordinary memory, loves to learn and loves knowledge.

thanks for reading till here, what does sound like?

amother

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 11:24 am

some more examples
won't understand why walking with the item he bought in the grocery must have a bag and if he's in a rush will rather walk out with the clear bag of cucumbers or can tomato sauce in his hand(grocery block away)

when outside and nose runny due to cold weather, won't bother taking off gloves and using tissue to wipe but rather he's almost home and why bother with the gloves on and off when he can take care of it when he gets home

there is no need to close the button of his snow boots, they fit great and wont come off when open

miami85

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 3:17 pm

I feel like everyone wants to put people into a box everyone is either ASD/ADHD/BPD/Narcissitic/Depressed.

Sounds to me like a quirky individual who just doesn't care what others think about him.

Men in general are more singular minded. Can't handle more than one thing at a time (it's the hunter-gatherer mentality).

ASD requires

1)Lack of empathy
2)Lack of picking up of non-verbal language
3)Lack of ability to develop relationships.

Sensory and or hyper fixated on a topic.

Of course within of all of these you'll find people willing to check the boxes on the slightest "delay" as a "deficit".

A few things to keep in mind 1) Is he employable? 2) Is he dating/marriageable/married? 3)Does he seem happy?

There are now subdivisions of ADHD that seem to sound like autism without the sensory piece, the biggest difference is that medication helps them shift gears a bit easier.

LovesHashem

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 3:33 pm

miami85 wrote:

This is very oudated criteria. A lack of empathy is not at all criteria for autism, and neither is the ability to develop relationships.

I am happy, employable, and marrigiable (technically speaking but I am married though so I guess I'm not...)

And I'm autistic.

LovesHashem

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 3:35 pm

I can't diagnose on the internet but this is pretty obvious ASD to me, as someone who studies ASD, is autistic, has autistic siblings and other family members and meets alot of autistic people.

Relating and easily speaking to younger or older people is a huge common trait that's well known. A few other popped out to me but that you can easily Google that are very widely known about autism.

LovesHashem

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 3:45 pm

enjoys to be different and stand out

Thats a huge things as well. Crazy how these small little traits add up and make a difference. I felt such guilt for many years as a BY girl, in regards to tzniyus. So many teachers were always talking about how we should always blend in and why should you want to feel unique and different why should you want to express that with your style you could express it in other ways etc.

The last few years I started accepting myself and my type more and it's brought me so much menuchat henefesh. I dress tzniyus and wear alot of what everyone else does but the small things that are different make me feel like me. Without that it really depresses me. It's such a small thing in the grand scheme of things, like why should it affect me so much but it does there's a real need to stand out.

I hypothesize this is because we feel so different and our brains work so differently we feel like we have to express that outwardly in some type of way as well.

miami85

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 4:00 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

It's the DSM-5, which is the current diagnostic criteria for Autism,

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/aut......html

Controversial, but not "outdated".

Given that they took away "PDD-NOS" and are still developing the 7-subtypes of ADHD, I think a lot more individuals fit into the 7-subtypes of ADHD rather than ASD, but it's not "Canonized" in the DSM yet.

amother

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 4:03 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

will his children stand high chances of asd?

amother

Daffodil

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 4:12 pm

LovesHashem wrote:

I think it's the oppositional-defiance in us.

amother

Ultramarine

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 4:15 pm

miami85 wrote:

As the mother of 2 hfasd children I must say that this is off.

op's description sounds very much on target and could very well be asd. but needs to be properly diagnosed

LovesHashem

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 4:15 pm

miami85 wrote:

This is completely different from your post. Being able to develop relationships and being able to understand and communicate in a neurotypical way are two different things completely. You made it sound like people with Autism are incapable of developing any type of relationship.

I also did not see anything here about empathy, we experience empathy differently and we can have different reactions sometimes but the only people who do not experience empathy are psychopaths/sociopaths as far as I understand.

LovesHashem

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 4:17 pm

amother OP wrote:

will his children stand high chances of asd?

Yes. Alot of people who are high functioning are actually getting diagnosed now at the age of 30 and 40 after their children have been diagnosed. I literally meet people every few weeks who are going through this kind of experience.

I have three beautiful kids and none have shown any signs of ASD but you never know.

LovesHashem

Wed, Jan 24 2024, 4:46 pm

amother Purple wrote:

Sound alike it could be asd
Noone can know for sure without meeting the person or getting a formal diagnosis.
How is his eye contact? That's a big one

Some people do make eye contact, especially girls and especially those who have learned to mask and copy behaviors they see.