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Child has a dentist appointment& you bring along your baby?
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amother
OP


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:04 am
There is a certain dentist office here with staff who is very against frum families with young kids.
It’s not even the dentist himself. It seems to be the non Jewish staff.
They make a big deal if you show up for an appointment with your 5 year old and you brought along your 2 yr old.
They insist that only the patient and parent can go back. The 2 yr old has to wait in the waiting room!
If the mother makes a big deal they tell her she can wait in the waiting room too.
They don’t allow baby carriages.
When they call to remind you about the appointment they tell you to leave any additional children at home.
They leave a message on your home phone and cell phone.
They text you with the same message.
“…. This is to remind you of Leah’s upcoming appointment on Monday at 2:30….please come 10 minutes before the scheduled appointment. We need to remind you that only the patient and parent will be allowed to the back. No additional children….”

If you answer the phone when they call you they always end off with - no additional children will be allowed….

Always something about additional children…

You can walk into the waiting room and find small children sitting by themselves wiping their tears because they were left to wait by themselves while their parent went to the back with the child who had an appointment.

It’s out of hand. I understand that a mother shouldn’t walk in with her child/patient along with 4 other kids… but why be so against people’s kids that they won’t allow a toddler to sit on the mothers lap?

I can’t imagine it’s like that all over.

Honestly, I don’t even have any babies or toddlers. My kids are all a little older and usually aren’t coming along when another child has an appointment. It just bothers me that they make this whole big deal as if you’re bringing a pet lion along with you to the appointment.
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amother
DarkViolet


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:12 am
I know exactly which dentist you are talking about.
Leave a one star review on Google. It worked for me.

One of my kids had a bad cavity that needed to get filled. They told me the next available appointment was in 4 months. I left a one star review, kindly worded but was very honest with the issues I have with this office. I called the office a few days later to see if they have anything earlier in another one of their locations, and they fit me in that month.

I just went recently with a different child, and they gave me an appointment for a cavity filling two weeks later. I'm pretty sure they put a note on my chart to accommodate me.

I know someone else that called NJFamilyCare and complained about this dentist and the horrible wait time for appointments, and gets better treatment now too.

If everyone would start calling and reporting them, or if everyone would leave reviews hopefully they will see that this rule is out of hand and uncalled for. They definitely read reviews, as they reply to almost every single one of them.
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amother
Leaf


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:12 am
I can't speak for the officer's policy and why. It can be safety, lack of space or any other reason. Doesn't mean it's convenient, family friendly or right but it's the it's your choice whether or not to use the practice.
I do think that if I knew that was the way that they work then I would try to make other arrangements for my children who aren't being seen. No, leaving then crying in the waiting area is not fair or appropriate or emotionally healthy for them (nevermind how it reflects on our community).
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amother
Blue


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:14 am
Why don't you go to a different dentist
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Iymnok




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:14 am
I just went with my 9mo. She just wanted to grab everything. My 10yo son watched her in the waiting room till his turn.
I wouldn't bring a toddler. There is too much stuff that kids shouldn't touch. Also you don't want the care of your child compromised due to the distraction of your baby.
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amother
DarkViolet


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:21 am
To answer everyone's comment why not go elsewhere. There is no elsewhere. This is Lakewood. I've been on a waiting list for a different dentist for almost two years so far. This particular practice has 5 offices in Lakewood and surrounding areas.

The office staff has gotten very particular since Covid. They used to allow other children in the exam rooms (never strollers, as lack of space which is understandable). I've had to wake up my sleeping 4 month old baby which is annoying but okay. The fact I can't bring my now 14 month old who can sit on my lap and just watch is absurd. I've been making other arrangements for him when I need to bring a kid to the dentist, but their extreme rule of no extra children is really really uncalled for.
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amother
Navyblue


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:28 am
Wow let’s have our daughters go to dental school apparentkt huge need!!!
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amother
Mintcream


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:30 am
We use a frum dentist office & they don't allow strollers or extra siblings in the back either.
It never dawned on me to think that they're against frum families with kids. I think it's a normal office policy. Otherwise, the dentist office looks like a daycare & it's hard to concentrate like that.
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cuffs




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:30 am
I actually think it’s a good policy. There’s a medical procedure happening, the dentist can’t have kids jumping around in the tiny treatment room while he’s working on your child. I’m one of those women that always has to bring a baby or toddler along, I either schedule the appointment one the other kids are in school or I bring everyone and we wait in the waiting room.

Last edited by cuffs on Mon, Feb 05 2024, 12:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Yolk


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:42 am
I also think its a good policy even though its not easy on the parent. At the dentist, a lot of the time the rooms are open to the hallway, and you know what? The truth is that little kids run away. I'd like to think that the moms are capable and paying attention, but kids are so darn fast. They really shouldn't be at a dentist appt. if its not for them. I agree that the tone is demeaning. But I think the premise of the policy is a good one.
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amother
Tangerine


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:48 am
My ob has the same policy.

Personally, I used to make appointments during the hours that my kids were at the babysitter or child care even if it meant using up my/dh personal time at work.
The dentist I use does allow children but I don't bring any other children with me, unless it's a really tiny baby & wait in waiting room, and I would probably send a kid that's at least seven by themselves and if they need a parent, then one of us would have to watch the baby at home and the other one would bring the child to the dentist.

One positive thing that I saw by covid was that in the beginning they all insisted that the kids come back by themselves and I noticed that even my six-year-old was able to go back. Sometimes they even cooperated better than when the parent was there and when the dentist needed to speak to me he would come out to the waiting room and call me in for a few minutes.
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ruchelbuckle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:51 am
It sounds like they're pretty rude about it, but I can understand why they have such a policy. But they could probably go about "enforcing" it in a better way.
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amother
Ultramarine


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:57 am
Nasty office. Awful experience besides the only 2 children per family per day/no others policy. Booked my kids for treatment 9 months after the initial visit and they called to cancel the day before saying the dr in tomorrow won't see kids under 12. When I pointed out its a pediatric office and how can he have such policies for an appointment with gas- kid will be docile... 'mam your being snipey. Don't yell at me' I wasn't raising my voice.
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amother
Pansy


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 11:59 am
I once asked them why they have this policy and they explained to me that the Medicaid companies have their own rules that offices have to abide by and can their their accreditation meaning that half of Lakewood wouldn’t be able to use them. They perform surprise inspections a few times a year so it’s not worth it for them to be lenient. It’s not their policy per se, but rules that have to be enforced. I know it’s frustrating, been there done that, but I’m sure it’s equally frustrating for them to have to keep enforcing it. I hate sounding repetitive in my field so I can only imagine. I just don’t like how the other drum parents make it a big deal and I hear the comments afterwards. It’s a real chillul Hashem. Maybe we can all be more accommodating to their rules, ya it’s hard but we kind of signed up for it.
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Chayalle




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 12:02 pm
I don't think your two year old belongs in the exam room when your older child is being treated. And he/she doesn't belong in the waiting room alone, either. He/she is not the responsibility of the office staff.

I agree with them. And if they seem upset about it, it's probably because they are.
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momof2+?




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 12:05 pm
I’m not sure if we are talking about the same dentist. My old dentist wouldn’t allow any other siblings in the back room with the patient and parent. They also wouldn’t allow young kids to wait in the waiting room alone. So if you want to bring multiple kids for cleanings, you need 2 adults- one in the waiting room and one in the back. Or make all your kids appointments different days 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️
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amother
Snowdrop


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 12:12 pm
Chayalle wrote:
I don't think your two year old belongs in the exam room when your older child is being treated. And he/she doesn't belong in the waiting room alone, either. He/she is not the responsibility of the office staff.

I agree with them. And if they seem upset about it, it's probably because they are.

I agree. And OP, your title says "bring along your baby" but you are talking about a toddler. There is no way in the world a dentist can work with a toddler (or anyone old enough to make a peep) in the office. A dentist is working on very VERY small body parts, even just for a cleaning, and needs to focus. I can't even imagine the liability the dentist would face if chas v'shalom something happened.

This is one of the things that comes along with having kids - needing to plan logistics. It's not the dentist's fault that you decided to have kids close in age and not daycare.

This is not an "against frum Jews" thing, this is practical and necessary.
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YounginBP




 
 
    
 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 12:19 pm
I'm in Boro Park.
While my dentist has no such rules and is a happy, friendly place. I make all sorts of weird appointment times and arrangements so that it is only 1 child and 1 parent in the room.

It is just not realistic to hold onto the 4 year old patient in the chair plus the baby/toddler.

It is really not easy, it's a well visit every 6 months plus work appointments.
BH my husband can be flexible and handle the appointment every few months.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 12:26 pm
Honestly, this sounds like a reasonable policy. Otherwise they'd be overrun with children and strollers and it would be a major safety hazard.

I don't live in Lakewood, but I make dental appointments for my children at a time when DH can come with me. That way we can take turns with one parent in the back with the child being seen and the other parent watching the other kids in the waiting room.
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amother
DarkKhaki


 

Post Mon, Feb 05 2024, 12:37 pm
I think it's a reasonable policy. It's a dentist office not a daycare center. Personally I never take extra kids to an appointment. It's not easy to make all the arrangements but it's the right way to do it
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