Everyone tells me what's wrong with my child but

amother

Wed, Feb 07 2024, 6:58 pm

Doesn't tell me how to help him.
My 14 yr old has adhd.
He can't sit and focus on things that he is not interested in.
He fights with the boys in school but not because he is angry at them more like rough housing.
If he gets discouraged if something doesn't go right he will just drop it and loose interest.
He is very smart and he is very curious and always tries to get on the internet to look things up which I don't let but he manages to look up things on friends computers.
I know he needs help he is going to a therapist which does not seem to be helping.
Everyone is telling me all that I know but no one is helping me with where I should go to help him.
We tried meds but the psychiatrist wasn't helpful and now we are waiting to get a new one.
But I didnt think meds are the answer maybe for the adhd but I need help with his behavior and I have no clue who to go to.

amother

Leaf

Wed, Feb 07 2024, 7:01 pm

I was just like you, just a short bit ago. It's very tough. I reached out to hamaspik thru go forward. They were very helpful in getting services for my child. Maybe try them and see if they can help you.

amother

Peachpuff

Wed, Feb 07 2024, 7:05 pm

The right meds are a big help. Also need a therapist for your kid who specializes in adhd. It's hard to start therapy and medicine as a teen. He likely is resistant to change, typical for someone with adhd. We were very lucky and the first medicine was the right one. What kind of school is he in? Ot was a huge help. We started at 8. She is 12 now.

Bleemee

Wed, Feb 07 2024, 7:06 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

For adhd?

amother

Carnation

Wed, Feb 07 2024, 7:07 pm

amother Peachpuff wrote:

where do you live? Is your OT though services or private?
Looking for an OT to help with adhd

amother

Stone

Wed, Feb 07 2024, 7:55 pm

Sometimes the right meds can make a huge, huge difference. It's possible that he can't change his behavior enough without the help of the meds. That would be my number one priority.

amother

Wed, Feb 07 2024, 8:43 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

I signed him up for Comfort Health but got no where.
He was supposed to get tutors which didn't work out.
Now he doesn't qualify because NYS is getting strict and adhd doesn't qualify.
The only thing I get is a care manager who will make doctor appointments for me or come to meeting if I need but that's it.

amother

Darkblue

Wed, Feb 07 2024, 8:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

Interesting. I'm surprised he doesn't qualify for HCBS services.

He has a clear diagnosis. ADHD is one of the SEDs.
Is he multisystem involved? It seems like he is. He has a therapist. Is he struggling academically? Socially? Any developmental delays?

amother

Wed, Feb 07 2024, 9:10 pm

amother Darkblue wrote:

He used to get HCBS but they said adhd isn't covered anymore.
What do you mean by multisystem?
He is struggling academically because he can't sit still and focus if he isn't interested.
Socially I guess a bit his elementary school and now high school all complain how he is always fighting with the boys in his class. When I ask him about it he always tells me the other boys start first or they don't care if he fights with them.

amother

Lily

Wed, Feb 07 2024, 9:11 pm

I am the mother of a few adhd kids, and from my experience, therapy is very useful, but without meds, there is very little that can be achieved. It is REALLY hard to find the right psychiatrist, but you have to keep looking, try different meds until you find those that work. Same for therapists, you need to find the right one, and even then, after a while you may see no more progress and have to start looking for a new one.
We made 2 huge mistakes with our oldest. First, we started him on meds when he was already a teen. He wasn't willing to take them every day. And sometimes would refuse them for weeks.
The second big mistake was that we dropped the psychiatrist once we found the right meds. Once things got really bad for my son, he finally agreed to take his meds regularly, but by then the dosage that had worked when he was younger was ineffective. We went through a nightmare. Bh, bh, he is young adult now and doing amazing.
I also felt lost, nobody gave us the right advice. It was a tough journey. Be strong, keep on looking for the right providers, and davening. There is hope!

amother

Darkblue

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 6:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

So weird. I have multiple clients with ADHD and many qualify for HCBS.
I would absolutely clarify!
Is it possible the LOC was done and he was found ineligible? That does happen sometimes.

Does he see a therapist? Is he on medication?

amother

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 6:49 pm

amother Darkblue wrote:

I don't know but they told me that because he has ADHD they can't give him services.
He does see a therapist. He isn't on meds right now. I wasn't thrilled with the psychiatrist so I'm in the process of looking for a new one.

amother

Darkblue

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 6:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

ADHD itself is not a reason to not get services. It's definitely on the SED list. Maybe check in with them. Can I ask what agency you are working with?

amother

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 7:24 pm

amother Darkblue wrote:

ADHD itself is not a reason to not get services. It's definitely on the SED list. Maybe check in with them. Can I ask what agency you are working with?

I'm working with Hamaspik Comfort Health of Rockland.
They said because he only has ADHD he doesn't qualify for any services anymore.
But I still have a care manager that checks in and if I need a doctor's appointment he could schedule one but that's it.

amother

Darkblue

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 7:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

I mean really the point of HCBS is to avoid children being removed from their school or home due to their issues. Many many people are getting services who do not meet that criteria.
However, you are saying that your son at one point did receive services? Which means he had an LPHA and an SED. If they did an LOC and it was approved, he should be able to get services with an ADHD diagnosis.

Again, I have clients who have ADHD and receive HCBS. Perhaps they are more severe?
Maybe ask if you can try again to see if eligible.

TwinsMommy

Thu, Feb 08 2024, 11:23 pm

y'all have me in the mood for alphabet soup. I have two teens with ASD, ADHD.... one has ODD, one has DMDD, and a partridge in a pear tree so I know OT, PT, SLP, ABA, BCBA....

But..... what is HCBS? SED? LOC? LPHA? Are these all New York specific terms?

Is your son on an IEP in a school that is obligated to follow the IEP? What are some of the IEP goals?

I like to hit it from all directions--- IEP, meds, therapy.