WWYD - someone gave my daughter a dress

amother

Sat, Feb 24 2024, 8:04 pm

She wore it today, and tonight my friend texted me that mistakenly she gave the one that’s her daughters size now. She meant to give me the smaller one. Oops, but no big deal I’ll give it back. Here’s the question - my daughter was wearing it for about 45 min and told me there’s a few small holes on the seam. I don’t know if they were there before. The dress was worn for a few months already by the other girl. Should I say something? I’m embarrassed 😞

Golde

Sat, Feb 24 2024, 8:08 pm

I think I would just give it back and assume the holes were there already -- unless of course you have reason to believe otherwise.

Last edited by Golde on Mon, Feb 26 2024, 12:54 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

DarkPurple

Sat, Feb 24 2024, 8:12 pm

"No problem, I'll wash and send it over (or do you want to wash it yourself)
FYI my daughter told me that she noticed ripping by the seam. Not sure if she did that, if so lmk and I'll cover the seamstress!"

amother

Impatiens

Sat, Feb 24 2024, 8:24 pm

If I were the one who gave it to you and wanted it back, even if your daughter made the holes in the seam it wouldn’t be a big deal. Things happen and it is easily fixed. It’s ok.

amother

Amethyst

Sat, Feb 24 2024, 8:27 pm

I think if she wore it just once for 45 minutes and you have no specific reason to assume she ruined it during that time, there’s no reason to say anything. It’s not a new dress; I’d be confident they were there to begin with.

amother

Cantaloupe

Sat, Feb 24 2024, 8:41 pm

amother DarkPurple wrote:

I wouldnt offer to cover the seamstress after wearing the dress for less than an hour.

Id give the dress back but its really tacky that she asked for it.

amother

Moccasin

Sat, Feb 24 2024, 8:53 pm

Just give it back. Holes usually happen during washing in my experience. I highly doubt it's anything your dd did.

I'm sorry you're embarrassed, do you mind sharing why? Do you not like to accept hand me downs?

chestnut

Sat, Feb 24 2024, 9:01 pm

amother Cantaloupe wrote:

I wouldnt offer to cover the seamstress after wearing the dress for less than an hour.

Id give the dress back but its really tacky that she asked for it.

Why is it tacky? Her friend mistakenly gave her the wrong size.

amother

Cantaloupe

Sat, Feb 24 2024, 10:14 pm

chestnut wrote:

Why is it tacky? Her friend mistakenly gave her the wrong size.

If you make a mistake like this, you just eat the cost and move on with life.

Shes giving someone hand me down clothing. Im sure the recipient doesnt feel amazing taking it. Its so much worse to then say, oops can I have it back.

Even more tacky is that she meant to give her the smaller one so if the kid is wearing the bigger one, it means the smaller one probably wont fit and its not a matter of just swapping the dress out. Its that she is taking away the dress from the kid she gave it to.

Plus the OP feels embarrassed by the whole thing because shes worried she may have damaged the dress. She shouldnt feel embarrassed because the dress is hers to ruin at this point so the whole thing is just so yucky all around.

amother

Ruby

Sat, Feb 24 2024, 10:17 pm

I don’t think it’s tacky she asked for it back.

I don’t think you need to offer to pay for repairs even if your daughter caused the holes.

amother

Sat, Feb 24 2024, 10:59 pm

amother Cantaloupe wrote:

Thank you - well said 😉

B'Syata D'Shmya

Sat, Feb 24 2024, 11:15 pm

While I agree its tacky, I can imagine many scenarios where the mother would ask for the dress back and a good friend does so without judgements.

Personally I would point out the holes which came with the dress and that my dtr wore it once. (I believe in transparency, she didnt steal it after all). If its easily washed, I would wash it. If it needs dry cleaning I would ask if she wants me to dryclean it, but since it was a present, thats not expected. The mother who asked for it back saw it on your dtr so she knows it was worn.

amother

Mustard

Mon, Feb 26 2024, 3:32 am

I don't think you should even offer to pay as she gave you a worn dress as a gift - you have no obligation at all to pay for any damages that 99.9% occurred when her daughter wore it.