How did everything turn into themes?

amother

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 9:11 pm

Bris- theme
Bar/bas mitzvah- theme
Purim- theme

Birthday parties and camp themes I could totally understand, but all these others, if you think about it it's pretty comical. People have literally lost the whole meaning of purim- and get so into their dumb themes, it's pathetic.

amother

Cadetblue

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 9:12 pm

It’s enjoyable, easier to do, and looks nice when pulled together.

amother

Cadetblue

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 9:14 pm

If it’s not bringing you simcha don’t do it. But it’s a bit childish to call it pathetic when it brings simcha to those that do it. Which is literally the point on purim, and why shouldn’t people feel happy at their own simchos? Not really following your bitterness.

amother

Babyblue

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 9:15 pm

My grandmother was doing themes, I'm not sure that it's a new thing.

I've never been to a bris with a theme, what does that even look like?

amother

White

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 9:17 pm

Some people really enjoy it. Let them have their fun. If they want to dress their kids up as fishermen and send you gefilte fish, say thanks and tell the kids you never saw such cute fishermen. If it stresses you, send your friends chocolate and a hamentash and say your theme is mm. The only time it bothers me is when I see the sullen faced five year old who wanted to dress up as a kallah but her mother is making her walk around in shvitzy rubber boots carrying a plastic rod because their theme is fishing. As long as everyone is happy it’s all good. Happy Purim.

amother

DarkMagenta

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 9:20 pm

Never been to a bris with a theme, and we don't do themes for bar and bas mitzvas.

Purim makes lots of sense to do a theme, it's cute and fun on a fun day, plus makes costumes less random.

amother

Jean

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 9:36 pm

In my community themes are not a thing for mishloach munes. Here everyone is into the “perfect tiny classy” mishloach munes.

HonesttoGod

Sun, Feb 25 2024, 9:40 pm

Pathetic? That’s a little extreme.

It’s so much easier to have a theme. It’s like having a guideline/base to work off.

Wedding gowns? Color theme - bam a starting base.
mM? Welcome packs? Bar mitzvah tables? It’s so much more coordinated and easier when there’s a basic guide

amother

Gold

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 3:12 am

More than 25 yrs ago ( Surprised

) all my friends bas mitzvahs were themed , and it was so fun!! I still remember them.

Sheva brochos also were themed that long ago, so fun and lighthearted for newly weds

Not a new thing in my experience (and I'm not even in the USA !!)

It totally does not lose the meaning, it is there to enhance the simcha.
I disagree its definitely not pathetic. AT ALL. Different people have different talents and if creative people want to theme, enjoy it with simcha!!

amother

Azure

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 3:31 am

Themed bday partys (approx age 9 and under, not by the time bas mitzvah) were a thing when I was a kid in the 90s.

amother

Royalblue

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 3:40 am

amother Azure wrote:

Themed bday partys (approx age 9 and under, not by the time bas mitzvah) were a thing when I was a kid in the 90s.

Themed bas mitzvah parties were totally a thing in my JPF/yeshvish OOT school in the late 80s.

amother

Ghostwhite

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 3:51 am

Pathetic??
As a creative person, purim is my day to shine and I love every bit of it
I sew my kids costumes from scratch (yes I spend 5x more than I would at a store, but I love it!)
Pulling together the perfect classy and on theme mm is so enjoyable to me
You don’t like it? Don’t do it!
But don’t be bitter

amother

Dahlia

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 4:21 am

I'm one of those who don't appreciate themes, seems silly to me but if people like it , go ahead and do it. I generally think more l like a man. I think people who think like women like it more. I don't get it, but I get there are people out there who like it.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 5:38 am

It's not mandatory. At my wedding the theme was marriage. At our sons bris, the theme was baby born/simcha. Purim the theme is - you guessed it- Chanuka...that's about how creative I get.

amother

Feverfew

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 6:10 am

amother Ghostwhite wrote:

Yup, I am with you. I absolutely love Purim and unfortunately not a lot of time to let my creativity out during teh rest of the year. I'm not into tablescapes etc, and in any case my kids would wreck them so it's not something that would work in my house. My interior of my apartment is also extremely child friendly, no gorgeous plants and white chairs or whatever. So mishloach manos and costumes and photo shoots - I go all out for Purim.

Hashem blessed me with a talent to make a Yom Tov that's the happiest day of the year into an extremely enjoyable experience. What's the harm in absolutely loving and dreaming about a Yom Tov? So when I was a teen I looked forward to it as a special day to daven, to go out to different shuls and watch the celebrations of pure joy in Yiddishkeit. These days bH I am blessed to be a mother and don't have time for the same things I did when I was single, so now it's a day that I spend a huge amount of time preparing for as a release for my creativty, and I love love love it.

IMO - if you can't stand themes to the point that you'll throw away a MM someone obviously worked hard on, purely because it's themed - I honestly believe you are jealous and bitter that Hashem did not give you that talent. It's one thing to say, I'm not so into themes, or I don't do them cuz they stress me out or whatever. But to be so vehemently against something that brings others joy and allows them to make use of the talents Hashem blessed them with, is just sour grapes and bad middos.

amother

Feverfew

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 6:17 am

I alos find it funny when people say, "If it's about releasing your creativity, then you've missed the point."
Excuse me, we always learnt, "Mishenichnas adar, marbim besimcha". I was never taught, "mishenichnas adar, marbim be-simple". A clementine with a grape juice makes me sad. Making an adorable theme mishloach manos with the works makes me so happy! which, afaik, is the "point" of Purim. And no, I'm not so busy with themes that I forget to give tzedaka and have a seuda and get to megillah. So I'm not sure why you feel that can only be accomplished by giving a bare bones mishloach manos?

If I told you that making a fancy dessert for Pesach made me love the Yom Tov, no-one would have a problem with it. I'm not sure why the bashing for themes happens! Yes, this is my simchas Yom Tov. It does not take away from the YT itself.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 7:29 am

amother Feverfew wrote:

It's a kosher mm, why would it make you sad? Not good enough for you? Too nebby? Maybe the giver was busy caring for a sick family member and this is the best he can do right now?
Why impose your standards on others?
If it's not fancy, you give it back?
You want to prepare themed mm, don't look down your nose at others who don't.

amother

Purple

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 7:48 am

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

Re read it, she's saying if she would give that out, she would be sad.
I also read like, what? And then I realized when I reread it.

watergirl

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 7:59 am

amother Feverfew wrote:

This post is so sad to me because the way I read it and the way I believe others will read it is that to you, RECIEVING simple MMM makes you sad. I reread it and now I realize you may have meant that the idea of you MAKING a simple MM is what makes you sad? I don't know what you really meant.

Those who find joy in doing themes - knock yourself out and find the joy! I love receiving cute themed MM! It's the best!

Those who find send the grape juice and clementine - I love those! That grape juice is so handy to have and my kids love them. Clementines are a huge treat, a bag of them costs $7 where I live! I love getting them in MM!

The thing I love the most about receiving MM is knowing that someone thought of me, even if their thought was only there the second I came to their door to bring them a MM from my family and they gave one back, it was thought! And it warms my heart and makes my simchas Purim that much more simchadig. Thank you all!

I send a simple MM. Why? I used to bake pretzel dogs and make a whole thing with a dessert, pickle, and drink and where I used to live, people loved them and literally one family used to come to me early in the AM to get their MM after a few years of whoever answered the door when we came inhaling the MM from us, so they'd race to my house first. People talked about it when they saw me. But the main thing was that it was in line with what others gave in the city where I lived.

I moved about 11 years ago, and the first Purim where we lived, I made the same MM I used to make and felt silly when I realized this town is thankfully very simple and gives the bag of nosh and wafer. AMAZING! Now my erev Purim is so easy, it's a JOY! I give the same thing everyone else in my area gives.

The thing I feel saddest about are not the people who give the fancy ones or the themed ones because they love it, it's the ones who do it out of community pressure and feel stress and competition, not joy.

amother

Ruby

Wed, Feb 28 2024, 8:49 am

I feel like it's easier to create with a theme. The theme can be a specific type of style, or existing thing, to tie into.

How does one design a house? They usually like a certain style (modern, transitional, traditional, funky...)

When I host a party, it's a lot easier to pull together if I have something in mind. My purim party can have a pretty purim mask that I buy papergoods to match. My sukka I decorate with a more rustic look. It's so easy to make or buy decor with a "theme" in mind.

So same goes for mm. It's easier to buy items that will coordinate with what what we are dressing up as, than to decide what to buy from the hundreds of items in the store.