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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Pesach
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amother
OP
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 Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:04 pm
To my dear co-worker
You did me a huge favour by allowing me to use your pesach kitchen last year, more then you'd ever realise. When the upcoming pesach crosses my mind, I cry when I think back to last year, the state I was in and how you helped me.
We hadn't known each for long, having just been moved to the same department. We didn't know each other outside of work, and were at different stages of life. I was happy with that as I was going through a very difficult time with my mental health, which spilled over to the relationship between one of my kids, and more. Work is/was my haven, all the more so with you as my coworker. There was pleasant easy banter between us with no strings attached.
As pesach was coming closer I panicked. I was frozen. Suffering from anxiety, depression and inattentive adhd the cooking weighed on me like a boulder. I have a large and beautiful family but I wasn't able to see past the enormous amount of cooking to appreciate it (please don't judge me imas).
One day around six weeks before pesach I blurted out that I wish I had a pesach kitchen because short of running away, I am just not going to manage. Obviously I didn't let on the depth of my suffering. You calmly said that I'm welcome to use your pesach kitchen, just like that! Oh the relief! To be able to spend a few evenings cooking instead of cramming it into those chaotic days before pesach with all the kids home, even in my panicky anxious state sounded like just what the doctor ordered.
All you asked was that I only use the hechsheirim you use, and I pay for your cleaner after I'm done so it's left how you want to find it.
After those few evenings of relaxed cooking without my kids underfoot (dh was on bath and bed duty for a few nights), with a freezer full of soups, kugels, compote, tzimmus, chicken, fish and meat I slowly began to heal. The boulder turned into a small rock, then a stone and eventually a pebble.
From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU. Your coworker
ETA: For those of you who can't understand why the pesach cooking weighed on me so much, please don't judge. BH I'm in a much much better place this year and sometimes struggle to understand the me of this time last year..
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amother
Honeysuckle
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:06 pm
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happy7
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:14 pm
Wow!! How incrediblh special!!
I hope you sent this to her directly. You don’t have to send every detail, but she should know how a year later, you are feeling such intense gratitude.
And thanks to you for respecting her kitchen rules. You made it possible for her to offer this to someone else.
I hope this year finds you in a better place.
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amother
Blonde
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:17 pm
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Wow. What a beautiful chessed.
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amother
Scarlet
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:18 pm
Wow!
Whoever she is really is a special. I'm imagining the anxiety of letting a relative stranger into my Pesach kitchen without supervision, my husband would have never survived it 
I'm glad it worked for you though, BH there are such special and helpful people around when we really need them.
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amother
OP
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:19 pm
| happy7 wrote: | Wow!! How incrediblh special!!
I hope you sent this to her directly. You don’t have to send every detail, but she should know how a year later, you are feeling such intense gratitude.
And thanks to you for respecting her kitchen rules. You made it possible for her to offer this to someone else.
I hope this year finds you in a better place. |
BH I'm in a much better place this year.
And I did write her a letter recently to thank her again, but felt like like shouting it from the rooftops. So I did! On here.
I'd love to give back a little...pass on the favour so to speak. I don't want to take on anything big, scared it will backfire healthwise, but if anyone has any ideas for a small chesed once a week or so, something you'd find helpful, please post.
I make a supermarket shop once a week, cook dinner most days and shabbos and do school pick-up and drop off daily. Any ideas that I could incorperate into my routine you can think of?
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amother
OP
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 2:25 pm
| amother Scarlet wrote: | Wow!
Whoever she is really is a special. I'm imagining the anxiety of letting a relative stranger into my Pesach kitchen without supervision, my husband would have never survived it
I'm glad it worked for you though, BH there are such special and helpful people around when we really need them. |
I felt the same way, although I'd love to be the type of person who could cope with lending out my pesach kitchen (if I ever get one)..wondering if she realised that there was more to my story then just feeling a little nervous about pesach. But she's great that way, if she did suspect anything she sure allowed me my dignity.
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effess
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 4:27 pm
Thank you for sharing this beautiful kindness!
It inspires me to think more generously
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amother
OP
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 4:27 pm
| amother OP wrote: | BH I'm in a much better place this year.
And I did write her a letter recently to thank her again, but felt like like shouting it from the rooftops. So I did! On here.
I'd love to give back a little...pass on the favour so to speak. I don't want to take on anything big, scared it will backfire healthwise, but if anyone has any ideas for a small chesed once a week or so, something you'd find helpful, please post.
I make a supermarket shop once a week, cook dinner most days and shabbos and do school pick-up and drop off daily. Any ideas that I could incorperate into my routine you can think of? |
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amother
OP
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 4:33 pm
| effess wrote: | Thank you for sharing this beautiful kindness!
It inspires me to think more generously |
Thanks. It's inspired me to give back a little...see my post above, any ideas? I'd love to hear!
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happy chick
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 4:38 pm
| amother OP wrote: | BH I'm in a much better place this year.
And I did write her a letter recently to thank her again, but felt like like shouting it from the rooftops. So I did! On here.
I'd love to give back a little...pass on the favour so to speak. I don't want to take on anything big, scared it will backfire healthwise, but if anyone has any ideas for a small chesed once a week or so, something you'd find helpful, please post.
I make a supermarket shop once a week, cook dinner most days and shabbos and do school pick-up and drop off daily. Any ideas that I could incorperate into my routine you can think of? |
You could offer a neighbor take their child to/from school, maybe once a week. Or when you go shopping offer an elderly neighbor (or young one) if they need anything from the store. Or you could offer to make dinner for someone who had a baby or isn't well.
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mha3484
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 4:39 pm
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If you have a neighbor who seems overwhelmed make an extra cake for Shabbos or a kugel. I work full time with difficult kids and no family support so a few friends and neighbors love to offer me leftovers. I'm not a garbage can but many times I am happy to take. One friend works in a yeshiva and will have full sealed pans that no one touched. It really makes me feel like someone cares and takes some stress off my shoulders.
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effess
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 5:51 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Thanks. It's inspired me to give back a little...see my post above, any ideas? I'd love to hear! |
Maybe visit or call a home bound person.
Once is nice on its own. If you can more it’s beautiful!
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amother
OP
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Mon, Feb 26 2024, 7:26 pm
| effess wrote: | Maybe visit or call a home bound person.
Once is nice on its own. If you can more it’s beautiful! |
I like this idea, thanks.
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amother
OP
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Tue, Feb 27 2024, 5:16 am
| mha3484 wrote: | | If you have a neighbor who seems overwhelmed make an extra cake for Shabbos or a kugel. I work full time with difficult kids and no family support so a few friends and neighbors love to offer me leftovers. I'm not a garbage can but many times I am happy to take. One friend works in a yeshiva and will have full sealed pans that no one touched. It really makes me feel like someone cares and takes some stress off my shoulders. |
Wow you're so positive, and have great friends and neighbours!
It's people like you who are a pleasure to give to.
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amother
Dahlia
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Tue, Feb 27 2024, 6:32 am
This is so beautiful! And inspiring. Thanks for sharing.
(Also, don't be so hard on yourself for being overwhelmed. It's normal.)
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boysrus
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Tue, Feb 27 2024, 9:11 am
| amother OP wrote: | To my dear co-worker
You did me a huge favour by allowing me to use your pesach kitchen last year, more then you'd ever realise. When the upcoming pesach crosses my mind, I cry when I think back to last year, the state I was in and how you helped me.
We hadn't known each for long, having just been moved to the same department. We didn't know each other outside of work, and were at different stages of life. I was happy with that as I was going through a very difficult time with my mental health, which spilled over to the relationship between one of my kids, and more. Work is/was my haven, all the more so with you as my coworker. There was pleasant easy banter between us with no strings attached.
As pesach was coming closer I panicked. I was frozen. Suffering from anxiety, depression and inattentive adhd the cooking weighed on me like a boulder. I have a large and beautiful family but I wasn't able to see past the enormous amount of cooking to appreciate it (please don't judge me imas).
One day around six weeks before pesach I blurted out that I wish I had a pesach kitchen because short of running away, I am just not going to manage. Obviously I didn't let on the depth of my suffering. You calmly said that I'm welcome to use your pesach kitchen, just like that! Oh the relief! To be able to spend a few evenings cooking instead of cramming it into those chaotic days before pesach with all the kids home, even in my panicky anxious state sounded like just what the doctor ordered.
All you asked was that I only use the hechsheirim you use, and I pay for your cleaner after I'm done so it's left how you want to find it.
After those few evenings of relaxed cooking without my kids underfoot (dh was on bath and bed duty for a few nights), with a freezer full of soups, kugels, compote, tzimmus, chicken, fish and meat I slowly began to heal. The boulder turned into a small rock, then a stone and eventually a pebble.
From the bottom of my heart THANK YOU. Your coworker
ETA: For those of you who can't understand why the pesach cooking weighed on me so much, please don't judge. BH I'm in a much much better place this year and sometimes struggle to understand the me of this time last year.. |
WOW
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boysrus
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Tue, Feb 27 2024, 9:12 am
A not too difficult chesed... if you know of somebody who is working with a baby and other little kids, know that its not always easy for her to get out to do grocery shopping.
Before your weekly grocery trip, text her, tell her you're going to the store, can you get her anything. And she can zelle you whatever it cost.
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amother
Ecru
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Tue, Feb 27 2024, 12:01 pm
this throws a light on an oft missed opportunity
to help people go through the rough patches
with their dignity intact
I'm inspired to do more of that now
to look around me and see how I can do for s/o else even the unspoken
thanks ladies
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