I want to look amazing but

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Forum -> Fashion and Beauty

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amother

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 9:39 am

I just don't care??

When I worked out of the house, I got dressed every single day! Even my nails were done. When I was dating, I wore a different makeup look, heels, jewelry and outfit (and we had 11 dates).

Now I am hitting 30 and have several little kids. I don't work out of the house. I don't have much of a social life. I'm home with a baby, I walk to playgroup pickup, sometimes I walk to the store. Otherwise I'm home or in the park the whole day. I wear the same sweater dress every day (I have multiple lol)

Even now, if I have a lchaim, I don't bother putting on makeup. It's late and I'm tired! And I'm fully confident.

I see older women like middle aged or older who look fabulous. I want to be 70 and wearing lipstick every day with a gorgeous shaitel! But if I don't care now will I care then??

Obviously I don't HAVE to get dressed but, I happen to have great classic style and some beautiful jewelry pieces, I do my makeup professionally... I just can't be bothered (nor does dh care)...

Am I in a season of shleppy dressing?
Will I get dressed when I need to?
Will I ever feel the need or desire to get glammed up (if the second I come home I rip my shaitel and rings and tights off??)

I'd love to hear from other women.

What do you think?

amother

Banana

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 9:42 am

Same girl. Same.

amother

Lightpink

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 9:53 am

Totally relate

amother

Banana

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 9:54 am

I do find that going out on the avenue sometimes gives me that nudge.

amother

Milk

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 9:56 am

I work from home so it’s a little different but I still relate. I would suggest getting the sweater dress in different prints so at least there’s variety.

amother

Coral

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 9:57 am

And I care too much

baked ziti

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 9:58 am

I'm in the same boat. I do think we find ourselves again when our kids are older and not pulling at our skirts. I have longer spaces between my kids and when all of them are school age I have much more headspace for caring about how I look. I put more effort into getting dressed and putting on makeup. I also have the time to do exercise and eat healthier.

amother

Emerald

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 10:00 am

Middle 50s here. As I got older, I looked worse and worse without makeup so I began to not leave the house without it. Clothing wise, eh, I'll still run out to the store snood and casual wear.

amother

Ginger

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 10:00 am

You're a young busy mom, even if you don't work you are probably up to your ears with taking care of your family.

When I was at this stage of life I also let myself go a little. When the kids got older, I got back into it. I am now back to my very impeccably groomed self.

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 10:04 am

Oh my friend, I so relate!

I have some lovely clothing and beautiful jewelry and a 5000$ lace-top wig collecting dust. I can do my make up really nicely. I just don't want to!

I spend so much of my day on the floor. The floor is the best place to be! That's where all the Lego and magna tiles are. Also where we find the coolest bugs and prettiest weeds in our garden.

I'm really comfortable with where my focus is at right now. I used to love dressing up. I'm sure I will again when my kids get older.

amother

Offwhite

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 11:46 am

I’m 48 and my favorite clothes are the ones from Costco because I don’t care if I get them dirty, pilled or washed-out. I do have beautiful clothes and I love to shop but I find I don’t have an opportunity to wear them and they are out of style before I get real use out of them, but I am not going to wear a brand name or cashmere sweater to clean chicken or fry hamburgers. My rings get worn once a week, I wear cheap rhinestone earrings to work ( in a hospital with an indigent population in my scrubs and mask) and on Shabbos I don’t even bother to take my real diamond earrings out of the lockbox, I just wear the rhinestones. I don’t know how to wear makeup. I was lamenting before a Simcha and DH had DD look into getting me lessons for my birthday, but it’s not even worth it as if you don’t practice you will not have the skill and I only go to a Simcha like 2x a year. I bought a good mascara, but had to toss it after 3 uses because it was open too long as I never bother to wear. I give up. (But other than those 2 simchas a year, and feeling like I wasted good stuff, I am really quite content)

B'Syata D'Shmya

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 11:52 am

amother OP wrote:

Wait till your teenage daughter looks at you with disdain and says you CANT go to parent/teachers dressed like THAT.
Prepare now for that snooty judgy teenager...

amother

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 12:14 pm

OK I'm glad I'm not the only one. I see these girls dripping in their daily jewelry and nice makeup and nice shoes and clothing and I'm like... I dont even wear my wedding ring at this point lol

Maybe I have a future!!

Highstrung

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 12:20 pm

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

Wait till your teenage daughter looks at you with disdain and says you CANT go to parent/teachers dressed like THAT.
Prepare now for that snooty judgy teenager...

Lol. Mine started at age 5. She’s embarrassed about the color tichel I chose to wear to the school bus stop 😆

zaq

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 12:24 pm

Seems to me you want only in theory to look amazing, otherwise you'd expend the effort to do that. Since you don't, clearly you don't want it badly enough, which is fine. There's nothing wrong with being content with your own natural looks. One could wish that more people felt that way and didn't fall prey to the propaganda of the "beauty" industry. Assuming you practice good personal hygiene and follow basic grooming like keeping nails and hair neatly trimmed, what's the problem?

zaq

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 12:28 pm

Now if you said you don't bother brushing your teeth or showering more than once a month, then I would worry.

amother

Papaya

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 12:30 pm

Its your momma season. The time for glamour will return. For now, stick to a morning and night skin care regimen and take good care of your teeth. The rest will come at the right time.

amother

Ballota

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 12:31 pm

This is me too. I used to look so put together but these days I want to look that way in theory but can't be bothered in actuality. Comfort has become my new priority. I'm also quite overweight (and short) so I look shluchy quicker.
I dress up if I'm going out to something but also not to the nines. I do pass teenage daughters inspection so I must be ok. All the rest of the time, it's long skirts and casual solid colored tops.
I put on lipstick to go out and a full face for a simcha.

AlwaysGrateful

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 12:34 pm

I find this post interesting.

It reads like "I want to look amazing, but right now I have higher priorities than that. Looking amazing takes time and I'd rather spend my time on things that matter than on externals."

Okay. Makes sense.

But then why do you feel like you "should" be different? Or that you want to be different when you're in your 70s? Hopefully in your 70s you will also be using your time for wonderful things. If you have free time to put on makeup and wearing nicer clothes, fine, you'll do that. And if you're busy bonding with your grandchildren, volunteering in the community, helping out a friend...and therefore don't have time to concentrate on gashmius, isn't that even better?

I'm at a similar stage of my life, just a bit farther along. There's never enough time in the day to do everything I want to do. I need to prioritize. I'm sure there are people that need to prioritize makeup and whatnot because it affects their own self-confidence or because of the position that they hold. I'm just glad that's not me. I can focus on all of the other things in life that are more important. I hope that I'll always have things that are more important to me.

amother

RosePink

Thu, Feb 29 2024, 12:48 pm

Interesting.

As a busy mom I find that I have a need to dress up, more than ever. It’s something I do to keep me sane. Sometimes I put on a full face of makeup for the pediatricians office LOL

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