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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
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amother
Lightpink
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 Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:01 am
| amother Seablue wrote: | You can have other relatives there, assuming the NICU policy allows for it. If a baby is stable a baby cam be held in the NICU with all the wires attached. Thats how it is in the NICU. The babies who have the strongest parental presence get the best care. I cant stress the importance of this enough.
You can hold a medically stable baby for hours in the NICU. I don't know why you think you can only hold them for a few minutes. Kangaroo care, feeding them and holding them are so important. |
You misunderstood my post. I said that we did have a relatives presence at my baby's bedside most of the time are saw firsthand how my baby received better care because of it.
BUT it didn't change the fact that he couldn't be held much. You wrote 'a baby who is stable can be held'. Unfortunately in my case he was not stable enough for more then a few minutes here and there for this.
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amother
Seablue
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:04 am
| amother Lightpink wrote: | You misunderstood my post. I said that we did have a relatives presence at my baby's bedside most of the time are saw firsthand how my baby received better care because of it.
BUT it didn't change the fact that he couldn't be held much. You wrote 'a baby who is stable can be held'. Unfortunately in my case he was not stable enough for more then a few minutes here and there for this. |
Im sorry he wasn't able to held much. If a baby cant be held you can put your hands in the isolet and touch them. You can talk to your baby. You can be there for them when they cry and have needs. If your baby can cry, not all babies in the NICU can cry.
There is a lot a caregiver can do in the NICU. Your baby can sleep in your arms. A lot of times a nurse will automatically just take your baby back but if you ask they will let you sit and hold your baby for a long time.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:05 am
| amother Lime wrote: | Ratio isn't all. It how the morah/babysitter is capable.
I am a metepelet/ganenet in Israel I have 5 babies including my own when doing 4months. The babies don't scream and are only in their stroller to sleep. Occasionally a baby will cry for a few mins if I'm changing a diaper but so does a baby of a Stay at home mom cry if a mother is changing their toddlers diaper.
I personally don't take more than 5 at that age. I would maybe add another depending on the group later on the year as they grow.
At the age of 10 month the group is 7 kids and at the beginning one or 2 cry from separation but that generally stops after a couple of days. I refuse to take more kids.
I have sent one of my 2 yr olds to groups of 15 with one ganenet she has a helper for several hours. I have sent one to a gan of 22 with 2 ganenet and my 2 yr old now is in a group of 10 of her age and 10 of the younger age with a ganenet for each age but mostly play together.
My kids LOVE to go to gan. They love the social life.
Tuesday was voting day and school was closed my 2 yr old had a huge meltdown that I wouldn't take her to gan. All morning she played that she was her ganenet and played and sang all what they do in Gan.
Tell me how I made the wrong choice and sent her to gan with many kids, the ganenet is so loving and calm????? I met the neighbour of this gan and she says she hardly hears kids crys but hears the ganenet singing and saying the Parsha!
On the other hand my neighbours kid was sent to a more expensive place that would only have 5 kids per group until 3 and then he went to the gan of cheider which is approximately 20 kids with 3 ganenets he has SUCH a hard time for a few months and she afterwards regretted him being in a small group at the age of 2. It really affected him.
I personally don't send to a gan of one group of multiple ages which many ganenets with 2 ages if their own do. But I don't bash anyone who does I'm grateful I don't have to.
For all the babysitter and working mothers bashers please respect us who have to work. Not everyone is able or capable to stay home with their kids or afford to send their kids to small groups. Not everyone has the money/ability like you. Sending to slightly larger groups then is YOUR ideal still puts us below breadline. Stop bashing us!!! Do you think we jump out of bed every morning singing for joy that we have to send our 6 week old/4 months or 2 yr old out so that we can go to work, come back exhausted and then do all the housework and supper???
Incase you are delulu and think we do I'm sure you will be happy to hear we don't!
A long rant on behalf of all us tired Imas who are begging you to stop these threads.
If you know of a certain place that is not treating kids correctly you can report it or make it public to make sure we are all aware but our children are not your problem.  |
Im not saying mothers arent trying their best sometimes their best isnt good enough! stop rationalizing that the kids are great for it. Obviously ratio isnt everything it is only a starting point. Just because someone else is terrible and cant even manage one baby doesn’t mean 5 is better. Thats ridiculous logic.
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amother
Lime
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:06 am
| amother Seablue wrote: | | Im sure you are trying your hardest but 1:5 isnt ok. Please don't rationalize it. |
So then legal ratio also isn't correct as that is legal here???
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amother
Seablue
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:06 am
| amother Lime wrote: | Ratio isn't all. It how the morah/babysitter is capable.
I am a metepelet/ganenet in Israel I have 5 babies including my own when doing 4months. The babies don't scream and are only in their stroller to sleep. Occasionally a baby will cry for a few mins if I'm changing a diaper but so does a baby of a Stay at home mom cry if a mother is changing their toddlers diaper.
I personally don't take more than 5 at that age. I would maybe add another depending on the group later on the year as they grow.
At the age of 10 month the group is 7 kids and at the beginning one or 2 cry from separation but that generally stops after a couple of days. I refuse to take more kids.
I have sent one of my 2 yr olds to groups of 15 with one ganenet she has a helper for several hours. I have sent one to a gan of 22 with 2 ganenet and my 2 yr old now is in a group of 10 of her age and 10 of the younger age with a ganenet for each age but mostly play together.
My kids LOVE to go to gan. They love the social life.
Tuesday was voting day and school was closed my 2 yr old had a huge meltdown that I wouldn't take her to gan. All morning she played that she was her ganenet and played and sang all what they do in Gan.
Tell me how I made the wrong choice and sent her to gan with many kids, the ganenet is so loving and calm????? I met the neighbour of this gan and she says she hardly hears kids crys but hears the ganenet singing and saying the Parsha!
On the other hand my neighbours kid was sent to a more expensive place that would only have 5 kids per group until 3 and then he went to the gan of cheider which is approximately 20 kids with 3 ganenets he has SUCH a hard time for a few months and she afterwards regretted him being in a small group at the age of 2. It really affected him.
I personally don't send to a gan of one group of multiple ages which many ganenets with 2 ages if their own do. But I don't bash anyone who does I'm grateful I don't have to.
For all the babysitter and working mothers bashers please respect us who have to work. Not everyone is able or capable to stay home with their kids or afford to send their kids to small groups. Not everyone has the money/ability like you. Sending to slightly larger groups then is YOUR ideal still puts us below breadline. Stop bashing us!!! Do you think we jump out of bed every morning singing for joy that we have to send our 6 week old/4 months or 2 yr old out so that we can go to work, come back exhausted and then do all the housework and supper???
Incase you are delulu and think we do I'm sure you will be happy to hear we don't!
A long rant on behalf of all us tired Imas who are begging you to stop these threads.
If you know of a certain place that is not treating kids correctly you can report it or make it public to make sure we are all aware but our children are not your problem. |
Why is it ok for a baby to cry for a few minutes while you are changing a diaper. If your ratio is 1:5 thats too much.
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amother
Lime
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:07 am
| amother OP wrote: | | Im not saying mothers arent trying their best sometimes their best isnt good enough! stop rationalizing that the kids are great for it. Obviously ratio isnt everything it is only a starting point. Just because someone else is terrible and cant even manage one baby doesn’t mean 5 is better. Thats ridiculous logic. |
So give a a realistic ok if sending to a babysitter.
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amother
Azure
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:08 am
| amother OP wrote: | | Im not saying mothers arent trying their best sometimes their best isnt good enough! stop rationalizing that the kids are great for it. Obviously ratio isnt everything it is only a starting point. Just because someone else is terrible and cant even manage one baby doesn’t mean 5 is better. Thats ridiculous logic. |
So if moms are trying their best and their best isn't good enough what should they do?
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amother
Azure
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:08 am
| amother Seablue wrote: | | Why is it ok for a baby to cry for a few minutes while you are changing a diaper. If your ratio is 1:5 thats too much. |
None of your babies ever cried for a few min?
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lamplighter
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:08 am
No one is sending to large ratio childcare because they think it is beneficial for their children. They are doing it because they feel they have no other choice.
Awareness doesn't pay bills, especially when no one needs the awareness in the first place.
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amother
Azure
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:10 am
| lamplighter wrote: | No one is sending to large ratio childcare because they think it is beneficial for their children. They are doing it because they feel they have no other choice.
Awareness doesn't pay bills, especially when no one needs the awareness in the first place. |
These "well meaning" ladies just want to rebuke others but don't want to do anything about it. How come not one of them started an organization to help pay for babysitting if they are so concerned?
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amother
Lime
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:10 am
| amother Seablue wrote: | | Why is it ok for a baby to cry for a few minutes while you are changing a diaper. If your ratio is 1:5 thats too much. |
No Women should ever have twins is what you are saying god forbid ones of them cries as she changes the other diaper.
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amother
Seablue
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:11 am
| lamplighter wrote: | No one is sending to large ratio childcare because they think it is beneficial for their children. They are doing it because they feel they have no other choice.
Awareness doesn't pay bills, especially when no one needs the awareness in the first place. |
If they don't realize the extent of the damage and harm they are causing they will do that unknowingly. Even if you are poverty stricken you will prioritize a lower ratio and better quality childcare if you understand the lifelong effect of the care of the early formative years.
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amother
Wallflower
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:13 am
| amother Seablue wrote: | | Why is it ok for a baby to cry for a few minutes while you are changing a diaper. If your ratio is 1:5 thats too much. |
On this I have to disagree- I send to a fantastic babysitter that is 1:3 ratio of 12 months old. She is only one person. My baby will occasionally cry if he wants something at the same time as another baby. It is okay and not neglectful. Crying is their way of communicating and if he waits two minutes for his snack it’s okay.
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amother
Seablue
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:13 am
| amother Azure wrote: | | None of your babies ever cried for a few min? |
Its very different if a baby cries for a minute when home with their mother in a compromising situation then a baby crying because the staffing isn't enough when there is a 1:5 ratio.
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amother
Seablue
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:13 am
| amother Wallflower wrote: | | On this I have to disagree- I send to a fantastic babysitter that is 1:3 ratio of 12 months old. She is only one person. My baby will occasionally cry if he wants something at the same time as another baby. It is okay and not neglectful. Crying is their way of communicating and if he waits two minutes for his snack it’s okay. |
It is neglectful. Im sorry.
You are rationalizing it.
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amother
Lime
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:14 am
I see all you stay at home moms are bored. I'm I'm going to look after and give love to my kids instead of entertaining your boredom.
I'm not ignoring because I have nothing to answer.
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honey36
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:14 am
Your right OP. I had absolutely no idea that a large ratio could be harmful for my baby. Thanks so much for educating me! I will pull her out ASAP!
Mission accomplished.
Next on the hit parade...
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amother
Lightpink
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:15 am
| amother Seablue wrote: | Im sorry he wasn't able to held much. If a baby cant be held you can put your hands in the isolet and touch them. You can talk to your baby. You can be there for them when they cry and have needs. If your baby can cry, not all babies in the NICU can cry.
There is a lot a caregiver can do in the NICU. Your baby can sleep in your arms. A lot of times a nurse will automatically just take your baby back but if you ask they will let you sit and hold your baby for a long time. |
Still missing the point!!
Even when you do all the things you mentioned the baby is not getting the same holding, bonding, feeding etc as a regular newborn. But because we're doing as much as humanly possible for our nicu babies, however limited, we tend not to worry that they will be affected by it.
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amother
Lightpink
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:16 am
| amother Lime wrote: | | No Women should ever have twins is what you are saying god forbid ones of them cries as she changes the other diaper. |
Brilliant 
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amother
Seablue
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Sun, Mar 03 2024, 11:16 am
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Op, even though there will be those that ridicule, mostly as a defense mechanism, you are doing the right thing. Thanks for starting this thread. If even one mother rethinks her babies childcare situation because of this, its worth it.
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