I don't want to always know when DD has her period

amother

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 4:28 am

Who can help me with a solution.
I keep packets of pads in the closet in my bedroom.
I also keep a stock of pads in the bathroom.
My DD knows she can take from both these places.
I'm the one who buys new pads and replenishes the stock in the bathroom.
I don't use the stock in the bathroom, but I check every now and then too see if it needs refilling.
What usually happens is that when I'm emptying the bin in the bathroom I will notice that it's fuller than usual, then I'll check the stock in the bathroom cupboard and see that the pads are being used at the moment, so I refill it.
Thing is, I don't want to have to know every time my DD has her period.
But I end up knowing.
I don't think my DD really cares or thinks about it, it's just me.

amother

Sapphire

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 4:33 am

amother OP wrote:

Oh well?? Thats life while living with other women. Hire a cleaning lady to take out the bin in the bathroom and then you won't have to know. Or tell your daughter to empty the bin at the end of every day. You may want to examine why this is bothering you so much though, its honestly strange.

107

Golde

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 4:56 am

I always had to empty the bathroom bin myself when I was young, and similarly restock the bathroom cupboard.
Like you, my mother kept a stock of pads in a cupboard near her bedroom.

amother

Tulip

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 5:25 am

Isn't this part of being a Mom to your dd? My Mom always knew because I was sick every month and sometimes needed a parent to pick me up at school. At some point, I took responsibility for buying my own products (maybe at 16?) My mom did give me small individual garbage bags to keep in the bathroom so that used pads were wrapped up in the trash.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 5:45 am

amother OP wrote:

Really? What is the big deal? Or just buy more pads each time so you dont need to worry each time.

amother

Puce

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 6:09 am

I don't understand why you'd be bothered.

Don't worry, just wait until your next oldest daughter gets her period. Then you won't know which one is using the pads, if that makes you feel better.

amother

Puce

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 6:11 am

I can see this possibly triggering you if you are young and wanted more kids but had to have a hysterectomy. Like if DD was born when you were 20 and bow you're 34, should still be young enough to have more but you can't.

But bearing unusual circumstances, I can't see why one would be bothered.

amother

Orchid

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 6:42 am

amother OP wrote:

I guess I just feel I'm invading her privacy.
But I'll get over it.

If she cared so much she would take out the trash herself.
I agree with what everyone else has said.

singleagain

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 6:56 am

amother OP wrote:

I guess I just feel I'm invading her privacy.
But I'll get over it.

If she's not making such an effort to hide it then she obviously doesn't consider it private.

I'm pretty sure my mom always knows when I get my period bc she spots my PMS symptoms before I do.

And if it makes you feel better, my dad is in charge of the laundry in my house, so he washes my period underwear. It's just life.

amother

Birch

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 7:06 am

Mother of 4 daughters, just chiming in: Such is life- and- often- because you live in same household- you may all be on same cycle! Scientists say this does occur. It is part of life- nothing to do with invasion of privacy.

amother

Bisque

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 7:16 am

Restocking her supplies when you see them getting low shows her you care and notice her.

As a teen I wished my mother would notice. We never spoke about anything period related so every time I had to ask her for pads I was so awkward and uncomfortable.
In 7th grade while I was still getting used to managing my period, I would often stay home for a day or two each month, it was just too overwhelming to deal with in school. I would just tell my mother I didn’t feel good. She never made the connection and realised that it was because of my period.

amother

Cadetblue

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 7:16 am

It is so much better than having your child hide it from you . That would mean she is uncomfortable for you to know about it and has shame around it .
I hid my used pads from my mother . I also bought my own supplies because I was too ashamed to ask her to buy them for me because I didnt want her to know that I needed them.

amother

Puce

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 8:19 am

amother Cadetblue wrote:

Me too. I'd only buy pads when neither of my parents were around, then I'd use them very carefully. I'd stuff toilet paper on top of the pad so I could get away with only using 1 pad a day. We had enough money to buy pads, it was just a shame thing.

amother

Seablue

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 8:24 am

I have a few teen girls. I don’t care.
I buy a lot of packages, but since I don’t use the same things as them, they need to tell me when the supply is low.
I also do not know WHICH of them is on her period.
It’s not that big a deal. Don’t turn it into one.

amother

Jetblack

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 8:30 am

amother OP wrote:

I guess I just feel I'm invading her privacy.
But I'll get over it.

Why would this be private to a mother or sister? I always talked about it as a teen to my older sister and mother. My sister and I told my mother about getting cramps and stuff like that. My sister was also the one who told me to eat bread when I got so much pain and didn't want to eat (it helped).

It's not like you're tracking a married woman's niddah status. Maybe that's where your reservation comes from?