At what age do you not let your kids see you in pj

amother

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 7:40 am

While I don’t walk around the house in pjs my boys do come into my room almost every night to say good night, ask me a question etc. By 11 I’m usually in my room in pjs. DH thinks it’s horrible and causes real damage for high school age boys to see me bra-less even for a minute. My feeling is I’m their mother and I can’t see that as damaging and I want them to feel comfortable coming to say good nite etc otherwise when they get home so late I won’t even see them. Yes I’m usually covered under the blanket but on occasion I’m walking out of the bathroom or standing up to get something etc. thoughts?

amother

Snapdragon

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 7:43 am

Im fully covered up, but yes I'm bra less. My boys have all seen me this way, even adult boys . My DH grew up this way too. I grew up this way. Don’t know what your DH is referring to.

amother

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 7:46 am

amother Snapdragon wrote:

Im fully covered up, but yes I'm bra less. My boys have all seen me this way, even adult boys . My DH grew up this way too. I grew up this way. Don’t know what your DH is referring to.

I think DH and I grew up very differently in this arena. To clarify— you will walk around bra less in front of them? Or you mean you will be under your covers like that? I’m talking sweatpants and tshirt type pajamas. He thinks it’s
Horrific for them to see me for a second like that.

amother

Natural

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 7:47 am

For boys, when they hit teen years, I throw a zip sweatshirt over my top that stays on unless I'm under the blankets, and a really comfortable stretchy skirt and a tichel too. I may forget here and there by accident or surprise, buy it's what I do.

Fyi, we are JPF and I grew up like that. I started this when I saw my oldest ds avert his eyes as a young teen. I now do this in front of all of them, even those that have shown no signs of caring. I have seen my own mother in a state that stayed with me (different one, but still); why risk doing that to them?

amother

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 7:49 am

amother Natural wrote:

Like when you’re in your room at 11 pm you wear a sweatshirt and skirt?

amother

Peachpuff

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 7:51 am

Oh my, I’m not looking forward to this stage…
My oldest boy is 8 as of now, and I’m really not careful
They always see me in pjs in the morning and they see me nurse all the time also

amother

Wallflower

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 7:55 am

Op, how does your dh walk around?

Mine walks around I'm his underpants and sometimes wearing a robe that's not exactly closed, when the kids are supposed to be sleeping.

I never saw my father without pants on.

amother

Peony

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 8:01 am

My kids have def seen me braless . I try to put on A zip up but its open.. If theyre looking, they can def see "something's going on there" lol. I try to put on a skirt and tichel, but I don't always. I'm better about it at night and worse about it in the morning. I hope their eyes are half closed like mine when they are not fully awake Smile

amother

DarkRed

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 8:15 am

Personally, I walk around the house in pjs and won't change that even when my oldest boy is a teen (he's still little).

I remember accidentally seeing my mom completely naked when I was about 5, and being a little horrified. So I'm careful not to let even little girls see me naked, but pjs is fine by me.

amother

Amber

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 8:20 am

Forever. I’m their Mama. I gave birth to them.
(My husband sometimes steps into his parents house when his mom his already in bed, and he will go over to her and kiss her goodnight. He’s in his thirties.)

amother

Natural

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 8:26 am

amother OP wrote:

Like when you’re in your room at 11 pm you wear a sweatshirt and skirt?

I tend to duck in and out until I'm actually getting into bed- things I remember, people who need something. So I wear them until I get into bed, and then put them by the bed somewhere.

amother

Brass

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 10:43 am

I wear a robe over my pj's when I'm not in my room. But in my room, my kids of all ages see me in my pj's.

eta14

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 2:00 pm

I always struggle with this. It's a balance. But I feel like better they know what a female body looks like from their mother than from the internet.

amother

Burntblack

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 2:01 pm

Even the frummest women who wear night gowns are bra less IME. Never heard of that specifically being an issue

amother

Burntblack

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 2:05 pm

I also think you should consider your feelings in this, and not so much your husbands. It really depends on how you feel. And how much you are okay with covering up

amother

Blueberry

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 2:09 pm

If you decide to wear a bra, make sure to get a very comfy one. I use my nighttime nursing bras from Amazon as my bra at home when I don’t want to have droopy boobs but want to be fully comfortable.

Link to my favorite nursing bras in case you want them - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01L.....ss_tl

amother

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 4:46 pm

Thanks all for your helpful perspectives. So interesting to see the range of responses.

amother

Blushpink

Tue, Mar 05 2024, 5:53 pm

My 10 year old sees me all the time with pjs without a bra. He loves hugging me and sometimes it feels awkward without a bra on. Yesterday I was horrified when he kissed me gnight and kissed my boobs like in a fast motion mwa mwa!! I was like that was inappropriate!! I think I'll have to start putting on a robe...

amother

Oldlace

Wed, Mar 06 2024, 1:33 am

My PJs are oversized t shirts and loose pants.
My kids are adults and I walk around in PJs all the time in front of them. We all do. We are a very comfortable family.