Tipping pregnant morah

amother

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 9:42 am

Would you tip a morah if she is due to leave in the coming weeks before Purim or right after Purim?
If you are a morah, would you appreciate a tip if you are pregnant Purim time?

amother

Blueberry

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 9:44 am

This question is bizarre lol. Honestly I’m imagining tipping her over chv because of how you phrased the title. What in the world does her being pregnant have to do with whether she gets a regular purim tip ???

125

amother

Caramel

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 9:47 am

She was still your child's morab from September until now-she deserves all the appreciation she can get for it!! And she'll be finishing up the school year. So it isn't like she won't be your child's morah again.

NechaMom

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 10:00 am

This title is off putting. Highly pregnant is more respectful.
In either case, tip her double. She was taking care of your child while she was nauseous, weak, tired, having Braxton hicks contractions and varicose veins. How is this even a question?

amother

Chartreuse

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 10:02 am

What does "hugely pregnant" have to do with tipping the morah?? You should tip regardless. One has nothing with the other.
What a strange question.

icedcoffee

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 10:02 am

Lol why would anyone say no, they wouldn't appreciate a tip if they were hugely pregnant Purim time?

My son was moving up to the next class at his daycare right around the holidays, so when I gave tips, I knew he wouldn't ever have those teachers again. It didn't matter though because I'm showing my thanks for everything they ALREADY did.

amother

Lilac

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 10:05 am

What is off putting to me is that it appears that the tip is being used as a form of a bribe - I.e. if you don't tip then the morah will not provide good care to your child. Therefore why give MM or tip to a morah who is leaving since it isn't needed to ensure "good care" since she won't be there in a short time anyway.

It is kind of cynical on two levels - that someone thinks bribing a morah is necessary and that there is no reason to thank a morah when they aren't going to be around to be favorably impressed and give your child special treatment. Since they are leaving (presumably) the tip/mm/gift is a waste.

I view a present to the morah as a thank you for being a good caretaker/teacher to the child.

The reality is that many people give teachers/caretakers a gift at the end of the year when the child won't be back the next year as a thank you.

Also many people might choose to give a nice gift as a form of "baby shower" for a pregnant caretaker/morah/housekeeper

ShishKabob

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 10:07 am

amother Blueberry wrote:

This

amother

Chartreuse

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 10:09 am

amother Lilac wrote:

What is off putting to me is that it appears that the tip is being used as a form of a bribe - I.e. if you don't tip then the morah will not provide good care to your child.

I view a present to the morah as a thank you for being a good caretaker/teacher to the child.

The reality is that many people give teachers/caretakers a gift at the end of the year when the child won't be back the next year as a thank you.

Also many people might choose to give a nice gift as a form of "baby shower" for a pregnant caretaker/morah/housekeeper

Gifting & tipping morah's & rebbi's throughout the year, is actually considered a bribe according to halacha, but this type of bribe is halachically allowed.

amother

Charcoal

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 10:12 am

The question is likely based on another question. Is the tip a bribe or incentive to treat my child better? Or is it a token of gratitude, thanking them for all they have done?

I am against tips until the end of the year (besides a joint one coordinated by PTA from the whole class at Chanukah). I give a MM but no tip. Ok, my elementary aged kids give it at school and they will forget their heads sometimes if not attached! I don't trust giving them money to hand out. But either way- I don't hold of bribes. I share a token of gratitude- and will write a personalized letter in each MM. But I won't bribe the teachers before the year is over.

But if a teacher is due soon, giving them a check would be based on the above question. Bribe (then don't, they won't be there) or gratitude (they were there since before RH!)

amother

Foxglove

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 10:12 am

Depends if you gift to show your appreciation or as a bribe. IMHO most people tip as a bribe even when they say it's to show their appreciation...if it wasn't a bribe they would give the largest amount at the end of the year

Cheiny

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 10:27 am

amother OP wrote:

Would you tip a morah if she is due to leave in the coming weeks before Purim or right after Purim?
If you are a morah, would you appreciate a tip if you are hugely pregnant Purim time?

What exactly is the relevance of “hugely” pregnant? Does that make her any less deserving of receiving a token of appreciation than someone with a smaller stomach?

amother

Grape

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 10:56 am

This is why, aside from tipping chanuka and purim, I always always always give the nicest and biggest tip at the end of the year. Because I want the rebbeim and morahs to know how much I appreciate what they did and I don’t need to bribe them!!
This entire question is so off putting. It makes giving money to morahs seem selfish, when in my head it’s hakaras hatov. You’re actually making me think that maybe morahs and rabbeim think I’m bribing when I actually have tremendous gratitude for what they’ve done and bribing has NEVER entered my head as a reason to give. EVER.

The second awful part is calling someone hugely pregnant. How mean! Why are you specifically commenting on her body size???

And why don’t you appreciate the entire year up until now when your child’s morah was working harder than other Morah’s specifically because she’s “hugely pregnant”
Uch…

amother

Lilac

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 10:59 am

amother Chartreuse wrote:

Gifting & tipping morah's & rebbi's throughout the year, is actually considered a bribe according to halacha, but this type of bribe is halachically allowed.

So your expectation is that these people will act differently depending on how much money someone "bribes" them with?

I think most teachers and caretakers would be horrified to think that people think they need to be "bribed" in order to not be horrible.

A "bribe" is always viewed as being corrupt

amother

Poinsettia

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 11:29 am

I don't tip Purim time. (It's not the norm where I live.) I do give Mishloach Manos though as a thank you for all the hard work teachers put in to teaching and taking care of my kids. Pregnant teachers deserve thanks too, even if they will be going shortly on maternity leave.