What’s one socially off/ awkward conversation u witnessed?

amother

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 12:24 pm

Feel free to say what you can’t say in real life.

I was by a shiva where my friend lost her child and there’s this woman there going on about her early miscarriage.. we were all sitting there and cringing..

613mitzvahgirl

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 12:37 pm

Someone asked my husband when he was sitting shiva outright asked him if he was going to say Kaddish, then my husband said yeah, why not..the person didn’t have anything to say after that..
When I was a teen someone from my high school stood up in middle of a pizza shop and said my name and yelled at me- you know why the person sitting next to you is sitting with you. I said yeah she’s a friend. She said no, nobody likes you, you have no friends- she’s doing it bc she feels bad for you and you have no friends.. I ran out of that pizza shop all the way home.. I still remember her name, the pizza shop- it closed down a while after this, and how I just cried and cried to my brother.. and yes that girl that was with me never got together with me after that..

amother

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 12:43 pm

613mitzvahgirl wrote:

Ouch.. as a teen that must have been bad..
Your friend didn’t stop her??!!

amother

Seashell

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 12:44 pm

I watched an adult woman mock another woman for her accent and it was done in a very nasty way. my mouth was hanging open. I was speechless. I still beat myself up for not speaking up to the bully.

amother

Mintcream

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 12:47 pm

I was walking down the road with my MIL and a neighbour which is a relative said to me "You're baby is so cute, so interesting how can that be?"

she then continued, "Your husband was not a cute baby at all" and turning to my MIL "Your kids were not pretty babies and toddlerss" she repeated it a few times.

We continued down the road and the two of us just looked at each other in shock and confusion.

amother

NeonOrange

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 12:48 pm

While sitting shiva for my father Someone redd my mother a shidduch. And she continued with your kids don't care about u they will continue their lives and you will be very lonely

amother

Magenta

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 12:53 pm

Friend of mine, who was an older single at the time,went through a really difficult breakup. She was discussing it with a friend who told her,”yes, I understand exactly how you feel because of my miscarriage..” and then proceeded to make the conversation all about her miscarriage.

Look, no one’s denying that miscarriages are awful but don’t make someone else’s vent about you.

It was extremely cringey

amother

Chestnut

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 12:56 pm

amother Seashell wrote:

I watched an adult woman mock another woman for her accent and it was done in a very nasty way. my mouth was hanging open. I was speechless. I still beat myself up for not speaking up to the bully.

My relative likes to poke fun of my shoulders. Some people enjoy taunting others to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities.

amother

Magenta

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:01 pm

Not a conversation, but when a friend of mine was sitting shiva for her father who was killed in a car accident, someone came in, looked at my friend and without saying a word, grabbed a towel and put it over my friends knees.

I mean, seriously! Day 2 of Shiva and you think how covered her knees should be is what’s important?

amother

Ruby

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:13 pm

When my baby was born prematurely after years of infertility and mil asked me on the phone how he is, and I said he’s so cute. Her response-“all mothers say their babies are cute”

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:19 pm

I think in difficult situations some people try and give support by relating the closest challenge they've had, as if it will somehow show empathy perhaps? It comes across as very self centered, especially when the challenge isn't really comparable. And even when it is, to be honest. Someone sitting shiva or anything similar doesn't need to hear about your loss, they need to lead the conversation with whatever they want to talk about - whether it's their loss or the weather outside...

amother

Nemesia

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:22 pm

I have a friend who always mentions how one of my kids is so cute, just like my husband, but the rest just look like me. Sigh.

amother

Mulberry

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:38 pm

FIM Syndrome. (Foot In Mouth)

Some people get occasional attacks, others have a chronic case. I don't know if there are any treatments other than duct tape.

amother

Magenta

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:41 pm

amother Mulberry wrote:

FIM Syndrome. (Foot In Mouth)

Some people get occasional attacks, others have a chronic case. I don't know if there are any treatments other than duct tape.

As a friend of mine likes to say “Silence is golden and duct tape is silver”

amother

Mauve

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:42 pm

I had a baby after many years of waiting
My friend called me, I thought to wish me Mazal tov and discuss my baby (she has a bunch of kids) and all she wanted to talk about was how her Yom tov was going (baby was born on Yom tov!) I quickly hung up the phone
Like how not to have decency to ask how I’m feeling, how’s the baby etc? It’s all about her….

amother

Midnight

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:50 pm

My mil to me when she was doing shidduchim for her next son.
'this time we aren't going to make mistakes and only looking into girls with proper degrees and a proper job. I just said no to 2 girls working in (my job) I just don't think it's a good enough job for such a good boy'

Gee thanks mom. And she didn't even realise she said it. We had to tell it over to Fil 2 yrs later when said son and wife were in marriage counseling and trying to figure a safe connection with mil who didn't understand why they were one of the problems.

amother

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:53 pm

amother Mintcream wrote:

amother

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:57 pm

amother Nemesia wrote:

Very true.
I learned though, when you don’t know what to say, say nothing. Wait to see where person will lead you..