What would you choose?

amother

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 6:50 pm

I don’t want to disclose too many details in order to keep my anonymity. I had a job that I loved but left upon moving to a new city. I am unhappy in my current job. I have an option of going back to my old job where I am happy and comfortable, but it will mean an 1.5 hour commute each way, leaving quite early in the morning, and coming home around 5. The other option is choosing a new job that is local but having to acclimate again to a new place. I’m afraid of being unhappy again, though I do hear people are happy there. Do I choose the old job or the new one? For added context I have older children as well as younger. The youngest being a toddler who would travel with me and go to school near my job.

BatyaEsther

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 6:52 pm

Three hours a day in a car to commute, sounds awful. How much are they paying you an hour, that it is worth adding three hours of unpaid work to your day?

kenz

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 6:56 pm

Unless you absolutely love being in the car I would not do this. It’s going to become exhausting very quickly. I would definitely try a new place though. Hopefully it will work out better.

amother

Charcoal

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 7:01 pm

Commuting kills the soul. Not to mention your car. Don't do this and don't do it with a toddler.

Context: I commuted 1.5 each way, while pregnant, with little kids at home.

amother

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 7:18 pm

BatyaEsther wrote:

Three hours a day in a car to commute, sounds awful. How much are they paying you an hour, that it is worth adding three hours of unpaid work to your day?

They would pay me enough to cover gas and tolls but it would be only a little bit more than the new local job is offering me. This wouldn’t be a financial decision it would be emotional.

amother

Milk

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 7:27 pm

That is a crazy long commute, I would not do it. Def try the new job. And you would be commuting with your kids who may be kvetchy , make a mess, or nap at inopportune times. Really not worth it.

kenz

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 8:53 pm

CPenzias wrote:

I've been commuting 1.5 hours each way to work for over 10 years. You get used to it. I listen to Nach Yomi and then a book on audible

Not with a kid in the car.

GLUE

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 9:12 pm

CPenzias wrote:

I've been commuting 1.5 hours each way to work for over 10 years. You get used to it. I listen to Nach Yomi and then a book on audible

I used to commute an hour with kids
I can tell you the whole Uncle Revan CD's, The world of Middous by heart and a few other children's CD.
When you go with kids you have no "me time" it is very draining. You defiantly can not listen to Nach Yomi.

CPenzias

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 9:42 pm

GLUE wrote:

You're 💯 correct. I totally missed that part or didn't process it lol
I do take my kids from Linden to Paramus in the summer because my daughter goes to camp and I work there and that's hard. I tell her no music till I can listen to Nach Yomi and she talks the whole time! I'm biting my tongue not to say "SHUT UP! " lol. I think my commute is doable-ish because I'm alone.

amother

Chestnut

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 9:50 pm

3 hours a day in a car for a toddler? That sounds really awful.
I've done long commutes and the only good thing about them is its my me time to relax. Add the toddler and it's not me time anymore.

amother

Burlywood

Tue, Mar 12 2024, 10:14 pm

I quit a job I had due to the longer commute found a job closer to home not something I loved but it worked schedule wise.

After that job I found another fabulous job that is close to home as well been there over 5 years!

I would not commute again it is such a headache.

justforfun87

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 3:13 pm

Be courageous. 3 hours is BRUTAL. You don't know that you won't like this new job, you are just afraid. You have spoken to others and they said they are happy. That is a GREAT sign.

Chayalle

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 3:15 pm

I commuted from Lakewood to Manhatten for 7 months after I got married - kept my existing job and looked for a new one. I say look for a local job! The travel was really hard.

amother

Magnolia

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 4:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

Commuting can be miserable but I'd consider it if it involves train/bus where you can do something productive during that time vs. driving a car in traffic where you pretty much just waste 3 hours a day driving and getting stressed in traffic.

amother

Starflower

Wed, Mar 13 2024, 5:03 pm

I spent close to 10 years commuting and it would take something extreme for me to go back. 3 hours a day is huge for a mother of a family as is staying local. Think about how much you get done in the hours you’re going to lost and count how many days a year you or your kids have appointments or school plays and think about how many hours of work you would miss for each one.