If you allow your kids to read Harry potter

amother

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 10:20 am

Do you allow all the books? Up to which one? Which ages? My 11 and 8 year olds read books 1-5. They are begging me for book six but as far as I understand it starts to get more inappropriate as the book get higher. I feel like 5 was pushing it. But I can’t really find great info online and I myself never read the series (I tried!) we are middle of the road light yeshivish I guess. I take my kids to the library but do try to be careful about what they reading.

amother

Steel

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 10:29 am

Book 5 has a mild romantic relationship with kissing. Books 6-7 have the same, the romance does not progress any further than book 5 did.

I feel so bad for your kids if you don’t let them read the rest of the books. Please let them! The books are so suspenseful, once you let them start, you owe them the rest.

Chayalle

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 10:32 am

I pushed off Harry Potter for as long as I could with my girls, because once you start a series you are finishing it, especially when it's a fun and compelling read..... So I waited till upper elementary school, though my (youngest) DD definitely drove me nuts....and I spaced it out a little. And just know that certain kid types will sneak behind your back if you hold off, and that's normal too. Many healthy kids will push boundaries a little bit, so this is one area they might do it.

rae

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 10:32 am

I found book 5 to be the worst. There is an undercurrent of evil that’s not in the rest of the books. I agree that if they read book 5, the next two are the same if not better.
Harry Potter not a series you can just stop. If you’re not so happy about it, I think you should just let them finish.
Otherwise, it will just be front and foremost on their heads.

amother

Hosta

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 10:36 am

Don’t let them start the series if you won’t let them finish!
I’m Lakewood yeshivish, my elementary boys read all of them. I cross out kissing scenes fwiw. They are reading it for the exciting parts not the kisses. If they are going to sneak romance books behind your back it ain’t gonna be Harry Potter! My boys will reference spells, quidditch and some characters some times… they have no interest in talking about Ginny. They liked the harry potter display at American dream candy store.

amother

Jean

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 10:42 am

I allow all the HP. In general, I allow my children to read material that includes conduct we don't approve of, within reason.

My husband and I discuss these issues with them. They understand that non-Jewish and non-frum Jewish people live differently from us and that we can learn some valuable things from them, but that they are not wholesale role models or wholesale relatable. The older our children get and the more I see them understanding and internalizing our values, the more space I give them to consume a wider variety of material. Again, within reason.

I accept that by the time my children are teens, they will be able to get their hands on whatever they want. I want to give them the tools, gradually and age-appropriately, to weigh and value for themselves whether a book is a net positive influence or net negative, and also how to read critically, from a frum perspective. Take what's valuable from a book and leave what's not.

If you have Facebook, you should join the group Kosher Books for Eager Readers. Parents there pool their experience and knowledge on various non-Jewish books. It's a nice crowd. On the one hand, people who care what their children consume and are thoughtful about it. On the other hand, people who are somewhat open and see value in literature.

I'm MO.

amother

Poinsettia

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 10:48 am

We are out of town Bais Yaakov. My kids read all of them. I think it’s better for them to know this exists and we can discuss why it’s not a frum hashkafah than to just be told they can’t read them (after they read the other books already). I think it’s a great series that kept them engaged for a very very long time

amother

Apple

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 10:55 am

Oh it is absolute TORTURE to stop in the middle!!
Thats why I made my daughter wait til she was in 6th grade before letting her read them, even though her classmates started in 3rd grade.
I told her im not going to make you stop in middle-wait until I say youre ready.

And I explained to her it wasnt just the romance (which is really very light) but more so the dark elements, heavy ideas (harry saved everyone by being ready to sacrifice his life for them), the themes of love being such a super force...I felt like so much of this is just way above a 9 year old's maturity and grasp, and that she wouldnt truly appreciate the book by reading it too early.

Now that she has read it, she told me she totally underatanda why I made her wait, and that so much wouldve been missed had ahe read it as a young kid.

Now that your kids have started it...I dont know. Its really hard to make them stop!! Its a total cliff hanger... I would just let them continue the series.
They'll just be miserable otherwise, and if it had been me as a kid I would've snuck the book at a friend's house or something

amother

Dahlia

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 2:07 pm

I disagree. I think book 6 was way way worse than book 5. I let my daughter read through book 4 (actually I would have only let her read through book 3, but she got ahold of book 4. Beyond that, every night at bedtime, I read her half a chapter. We are currently in the middle of book 6. I change words for any language that I don't approve of, and change any kissing to whispering together.
So yes, very time-consuming, but for the ruchniyus of your child, maybe a worthwhile investment.
For context, my daughter is eight almost nine.

I think the only way for you to answer this question for yourself is to actually read the books and see whether you want your children exposed to this or not.

amother

Dahlia

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 2:11 pm

Also, even for those who allow exposure, the question is what age. The latter Harry Potter books are considered "teen" books. So even by secular standards, do you want your 8 and 11 year old reading what is considered "teen" even by secular standards?

And trust me, I completely understand the struggle. My third grader is at an adult reading level, wants to read hours every day, and has already read everything she can get her hands on.
But as hard as it is, you really need to be careful what door you are opening up.

amother

Steel

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 2:22 pm

amother Dahlia wrote:

What bothers you about book 6?

amother

Apple

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 3:42 pm

amother Dahlia wrote:

Im very careful what books my teens read, and believe me just because its rated as a "teen" book, does not mean I automatically let my teens read it.

But Harry Potter reeeally is not a "teen" book. Its very frightening and heavy, full of death and evil, which is why they categorize it as teen. In that regard, im ok with my kids reading it.

But "teen" level romance is NOT what you find in HP. It is so tame. Typical "teen" books with romance are absolutely filthy, and harry potter is really ok romance wise. Not a teen type book at all

elusivity

Sat, Mar 16 2024, 4:01 pm

amother Steel wrote:

I disagree that books 6-7 are the same as book 5; they have more romance in them. There's also a very inappropriate scene in 7 (Ron and the horcrux in the woods)
I read books 1-6 as a 12-year old. My mother was upset that I read 6 and asked me not to read it (or 7) again.
That said, at 12 the romance went straight over my head. When I reread book 6 a few years later I was pretty amazed at how many new scenes there seemed to be...

amother

Goldenrod

Sat, Mar 16 2024, 9:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

Same hashkafa. My husband read them to my son who is younger (so he filtered it out) but the ppl we know with those hashkafos let their kids read all the books.