If you have young children do you fast?

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

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View latest: 24h 48h 72h

Do you fast?

Yes- asked a rav

11%

[ 16 ]

Yes- didn’t ask a rav

21%

[ 31 ]

No- asked a rav

14%

[ 21 ]

No- didn’t ask a rav

51%

[ 73 ]

Total Votes : 141

amother

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:25 am

I know so many people who say they don’t fast minor fasts because they have young children.

amother

Vanilla

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:28 am

amother OP wrote:

I know so many people who say they don’t fast minor fasts because they have young children.

How do you define young? Like 3 and under? Or any school age child?

amother

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:29 am

amother Vanilla wrote:

How do you define young? Like 3 and under? Or any school age child?

Under 10

amother

Chestnut

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:30 am

amother OP wrote:

I know so many people who say they don’t fast minor fasts because they have young children.

I don't fast any minor fasts, regardless if I have young children or not. Our shitta is that women only fast yom kippur & tisha ba'av.

amother

Brass

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:31 am

3 kids under 10. I fast unless I'm within 6 months after birth (I don't nurse my babies).
My job is flexible so I can usually skip work on a fast day. If I absolutely must go to work then I probably wouldn't be able to fast

amother

Whitewash

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:31 am

Never heard of this honestly. Everyone I know fasts unless they’re pregnant, breastfeeding, not feeling well, or a bad faster. Or chasidish.

amother

Black

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:32 am

I have two and the oldest is 2 and half. since I stopped nursing ive been advised by my rav (aka my grandfather) to try to make it to chatzos.

I am a decent faster on my own except I am the definition of HANGRY - I get irritable and snappy and grumpy. I will probably not push myself past that this taanis because I need to be a mother to my precious children who dont deserve a hungry weak obnoxious mommy.

mha3484

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:33 am

My kids are 3-13 and unless pregnant or nursing I fast. OOT Yeshivish.

amother

Aqua

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:34 am

I voted Yes, asked a rav. My rav holds that, barring any illness or medical issues, women are required to fast minor fasts, unless pregnant or nursing. He holds the nursing exemption ends when baby turns two years old, even if the mother is nursing for longer.

amother

Maroon

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:35 am

I don't fast when I have a child under 2. I am not a great faster and need to work and take care of my kids.

Ema of 5

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:35 am

amother OP wrote:

I know so many people who say they don’t fast minor fasts because they have young children.

I only fast Yom kippur (with shiurim), and as long as I can on Tisha b’av.
Edit: forgot to add: I don’t fast for medical reasons, not because I have little kids.

Last edited by Ema of 5 on Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:45 am; edited 1 time in total

mizle10

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:35 am

I try till chatzos, sometimes make it till the end before a caffeine headache kicks in...

Taanis esther is a nidcha though, so for sure more lenient.

amother

Dill

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:36 am

I don't fast any minor fasts, but it's because I don't fast well, not because of my children. I did ask my Rav.

amother

Phlox

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:39 am

Neither my husband nor I are good fasters. But my husband has to go to shul, work and it's stricter for men so unless it's Tisha bav or yom Kippur I don't fast. Someone has to take care of the kids, make the meals, clean the house, etc. And it's not going to be my husband when he is fasting. I fasted every single fast before I got married, I'll get there again...

amother

Aquamarine

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:42 am

I fast unless pregnant or nursing, yes I have little kids BH.

amother

Daisy

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 10:28 am

This makes me so jealous! I'm a horrible faster, fasting feels to me like having the flu in terms of weakness, strong headaches and ice cold hands and feet. I have children under 10 and I have to go to work on Thursday on top of that. Our rav holds women have to fast if not pregnant or nursing.
Sometimes I wonder if the fast counts as a mitzvah at all, as so many get a heter or have a custom to opt out.

On the other hand, maybe serves me right that I have to fast. We hold relatively lenient, MO type, on tzniut. So being doomed to be machmir in other areas maybe evens it out. Kind of, having to fast is the price for open sandals in the summer, who knows? Just musing.

amother

Freesia

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 10:29 am

My Rav's standard policy (as told to someone else I know) is that mothers with small children do not need to fast except YK and TB. I never asked specifically for myself but do rely on his policy.

I am pretty much always pregnant or nursing also...

amother

Crimson

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 10:30 am

I feel like this poll should also ask if you are chassidish and wouldn't fast even if you didn't have small children.

care4u

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 10:31 am

amother Whitewash wrote:

Never heard of this honestly. Everyone I know fasts unless they’re pregnant, breastfeeding, not feeling well, or a bad faster. Or chasidish.

And there was no option- no- it's not my minhag Smile

amother

Saddlebrown

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 10:33 am

amother Crimson wrote:

I feel like this poll should also ask if you are chassidish and wouldn't fast even if you didn't have small children.

Chassidish and never fasted, even as a girl.

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