Can I leave her home alone?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children

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amother

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:06 pm

I have a 12.5 yr old daughter, when is it ok for me to leave her home alone at night so DH and I can run errands or go out for dinner together? She has a younger sibling as well. We live in a major city but in a Frum neighborhood.

amother

Bisque

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

Depends on what your kids are like, I suppose. I was babysitting at that age.

singleagain

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:15 pm

Depends on the maturity of the 12.5 year old.. The age of the other child. He meant hours they will be alone? How late they will be awake? Are super, bath and bed done? Are screens ok? Emergency contact? Knowledge of what to do in emergency. Who's nearby? Phone availability.

Way too many factors and to just say sure do it or no don't.

Last edited by singleagain on Thu, Mar 21 2024, 3:33 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Topaz

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:17 pm

I leave my 12 year old at home. She’s responsible knows what to do in case of emergency. We also have a house phone she can call me on.

amother

Amaryllis

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:20 pm

Depends how old the younger sibling is. 12.5 can stay alone

amother

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:29 pm

Other sibling is 9

erm

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:34 pm

I kids babysat at that age. They were very responsible

singleagain

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:36 pm

How do the siblings get along .. anywhere question to consider.

amother

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:43 pm

singleagain wrote:

How do the siblings get along .. anywhere question to consider.

They have their moments of trouble together.

amother

Mint

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:50 pm

My 12.5 year old daughter babysit's at home at night only when I'm local.

amother

Topaz

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

Other sibling is 9

For sure I’d only think twice if there was a baby.

#BestBubby

Tue, Mar 19 2024, 9:57 pm

Yes

TwinsMommy

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:20 pm

My teens aren't neurotypical so it helped me to ask them questions to see how ready they were...... what happens if there's a knock on the door...... what happens if there's a fire...... when would you call 911 and when would you simply call me...... can you leave the house and leave the house unlocked? etc.

My daughter was much more comfortable being alone during the day. It took some time for her to be comfy being alone after bedtime. She feels more secure when I'm home at night.

Singleagain---- I hope they'll be ALIVE for a long long time. Smile

(I know you meant awake).

singleagain

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 3:35 am

TwinsMommy wrote:

Singleagain---- I hope they'll be ALIVE for a long long time. Smile

(I know you meant awake).

😱 OMG, can't behind that typo. I fixed it. But yikes.

And as to the rest of your post I agree. I didn't need the answers, the point is Mom needs the answers and to feel comfortable with the situation overall.

amother

Steelblue

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 3:45 am

I don't have kids that age yet, but I myself would have been 100% fine at 12.5

I wouldn't have left myself at home alone at night at 10. It would have been okay, but 10 YO me would have been scared.

Somewhere between 11 and 12 became totally okay, in my case.

amother

Steelblue

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 3:48 am

To me the only issue here is the 9YO.

I'd never leave a 9 YO alone at night. He's not alone, he's with big sis. But the question is, if he wakes up and is scared, will she let him come into her room, or will she lock her door (locking him out) and he's almost home alone?

amother

NeonGreen

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 8:14 am

I think 12 is fine to be alone with sibling by day but I’m not as comfortable at night.

amother

Dandelion

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 8:23 am

I guess it depends on the maturity of the kid. My daughter was for sure able to be home alone, even watching a younger sibling, at age 10.

We didnt do it though, because it just sounded weird. But she was definitely up to the task.

When she was 11 we started leaving her in the evening/ night just for quick errands (we did have a nanny cam to check in on, and she had phobes available etc), and by 12 we'd go out for a while.

amother

Royalblue

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 8:35 am

If she's a regular healthy teen, yes.

My almost 11 yo will babysit at night (we have a 9, 4, 22 mo) when I run some errands around the neighborhood on foot, if I need to go to grab something quick from the grocery 2 minutes be car. Or if I need to run down to the urgent care down the road with another kid.
I'll put all kids to bed and she'll be awake playing Gameboy or reading. There have been instances when the baby woke, she gave her a bottle. Sang her a song or rocked her back to sleep. If baby wasn't having it, she called me and I came right home. she's extremely responsible quick thinking, responsible and mature by nature. She's the kid who saw I was so sick and pregnant and would let me sleep in on sundays. Try to keep her siblings quiet and feed them breakfast (yogurt & cake lol. But they were fed!) when she was 8.....
(No I would never ask her to do it. She loved playing mommy. And was upset when I did wake up earlier)
I'm not sure I'd be ok with my other kid to babysit at that age.
I'm close enough by she knows the safety plan. All machines and flames are off (washer dryer oven flame) we lock the office. And all the doors.

amother

Thistle

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 9:16 am

My 11 year old dd babysits at night when all the other kids are sleeping, as long as it's local. I wouldn't leave her alone with the younger kids awake. She knows she can always call me and I'll be home in a few minutes. If it's for longer than an hour or too late I get a babysitter.

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