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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Purim
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amother
OP
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 Wed, Mar 20 2024, 3:34 pm
The first few years I was married I did. More to my in laws then my parents. I haven't done anything more special for them in a few years.
I'm just not creative and I'm so so hectic with the teachers MM and my own and my kids MM that I just give them my regular what I give everyone else.
Specifically for my in laws because my mom in law is the hardest person to buy a gift for and she does not care for me to bring special food that she can add to the seuda (I did that one year. made a yummy salad in a beautiful bowl. The bowl is stashed away and the was a total waste because of the amount of food she makes to start with.
I'm not changing at least for this year. But wondering how normal it is that I don't do anything more special for them.
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amother
Blush
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 3:35 pm
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I make something for the meal & give a regular MM.
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amother
Amaranthus
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 3:37 pm
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Not fancy just thoughtful if we’re not spending the seuda together, something nice for the kitchen or pictures in a frame, washing cup and towels wrapped up
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amother
Tuberose
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 3:38 pm
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Regular with a nice picture
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Brit in Israel
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 3:46 pm
I'm the same as you OP.
I did it at the beginning but now I don't bother. It's too stressful and unless I see something by chance to do for them I give the same.
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amother
Electricblue
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 4:10 pm
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What do you mean fancy?. I make something nice for the meal and present it nicely.
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Layokee
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 4:27 pm
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Make drink or any extra tging that she wouldn't normally make. And send them pictures
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amother
Crystal
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 4:49 pm
Parents I used to give them breakfast food early on morning but now we don't family breakfast get together.
In laws if I see them I do something nicer like the teachers.
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amother
Apple
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:21 pm
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Not at all. My parents and in laws are not the type to care and honestly I'm busy running around all day to kids friends and teachers. I'm happy I don't have that on my head.
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gingleale
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:36 pm
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Fancy? No way. But I do make them customized for them with stuff that I know they like and will use.
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giftedmom
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 5:43 pm
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Main dish for the meal and standard mm
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rkay
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 6:37 pm
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Nice picture of the kids is always appreciated. Or tell her in advance what you are bringing for the meal so it is a help
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amother
Foxglove
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 6:43 pm
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Nope I don't think I've ever even given them MM. But then, I live on a different continent.
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amother
Aster
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 6:56 pm
First few years I did, then I realized they were overwhelmed with the "stuff" that was accumulating, even if they enjoyed receiving the MM.
Then I switched over to making things for their seuda. And I buy pretty disposable platters and bowls to wrap and present the food in, so I can hand it over properly as MM.
Much enjoyed.
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amother
Pewter
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 7:01 pm
I only heard of presenting a big special mm for parents from boro parkers. Is this more popular in chassidish circles?
I'm originally from OOT and now in town (not bp).
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amother
Caramel
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 7:49 pm
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Is this a chassidish thing?
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amother
Pearl
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 8:45 pm
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It is definitely a chassidish thing.
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amother
OP
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:01 pm
I'm not chassidish. lots of my litvish friends in lakewood do this.
I don't only mean fancy. Just different.
pictures don't work for me. my parents and in laws still have a youngish household so they are not accumilating picture frames all over their fireplace type. They stash them on top of the fridge...
food is a no no for my mom. she'd never take me up on it if I'd ask prior. and if I'd bring without asking then she wouldn't appreciate it either. MIL is the same deal.
My SILs from my side all think up these creative, pretty MM the past few purims. I was feeling a bit pressured from the talk and then when we go visit on purim they ooh and ahh over the MM and I come with my regular, simple MM that my mom doesn't even turn to look at. I'd never be able to outdo them and I'm not even looking to. But I was wondering if I'm being like not mentschlich or something. Like ask around, figure it out, put the effort in and too bad if they won't appreciate at least you know you did something. But I don't even want to deal with that headache:)
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amother
Snowflake
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:24 pm
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My in laws mentioned last year how they didn’t really get any. So we’re going to send them a delivery from a store by them this year (live flying distance from them)
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amother
Firethorn
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Wed, Mar 20 2024, 10:32 pm
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No I don't. I give them what I give everyone else. Which is not fancy at all, simple nerdy thing. They couldn't care less. BH both families are not the showing off type.
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