Is it ok to send mm to teacher after purim?

happy chick

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:10 pm

im so annoyed with myself. I was so organized and had all my mm ready early in the week and I was sending every day with every kid who needed. but I didnt realize that tomorrow is half a day and today was the last day before purim that my daughter would have a certain teacher who I really wanted to give. teacher comes from a different community and not going to deliver to her house. I dont want the teacher to feel like shes an afterthought. how peachy is it to send to school after purim?

amother

NeonYellow

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:12 pm

It’s fine they understand that it gets confusing who is in school which days. I’ve done that. There are others who forgot she won’t be there tomorrow I’m sure.

amother

Junglegreen

Wed, Mar 20 2024, 11:15 pm

What does this mean giving before or after Purim? You want to give a present, fine. But mishloach manos is a mitzvah of Purim If you give it on another day it’s not mishloach manos

salt

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 4:03 am

amother Junglegreen wrote:

What does this mean giving before or after Purim? You want to give a present, fine. But mishloach manos is a mitzvah of Purim If you give it on another day it’s not mishloach manos

Many times, Purim gifts are given to the teachers as a token of thanks, over the few days running up to Purim - halachically you are not fulfilling the mitzva of mishloach manot by this, but it's a fairly widely performed custom, and it's colloquially called mishloach manot anyway.

And to OP, I'm sure the teacher would be happy to get the gift after Purim too. They understand.

amother

Midnight

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 4:28 am

I've done exactly the same. But also you can send in the mm clearly labelled and tell your daughter to ask the teacher to put it aside for the other teacher - that way they know it wasn't an afterthought...

amother

Bluebonnet

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 4:29 am

As a teacher, people call me on Shishon purim to ask if they can bring, I always say yes, glad to see the students. Can you ask her if she is planning to be in the area on purim? Maybe she will be, and she will know that you have one ready for her(just a thought)

amother

Junglegreen

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 5:54 am

salt wrote:

I know. But I’m just saying it’s not mishloach manos.

Highstrung

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 6:00 am

I do send after , for whichever teacher we didn’t get to on Purim. I usually tip teachers though, so the MM I send is more of a gift than the food package

salt

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 6:34 am

Highstrung wrote:

I do send after , for whichever teacher we didn’t get to on Purim. I usually tip teachers though, so the MM I send is more of a gift than the food package

And an advantage of sending after Purim is that you can re-use stuff that you received on Purim, that you don't want/need Wink

amother

Black

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 6:43 am

salt wrote:

And an advantage of sending after Purim is that you can re-use stuff that you received on Purim, that you don't want/need Wink

Right but then some people worry the teacher will assume they did this when in fact they made the effort and got things specifically for the teacher….

As a former teacher my answer to the OP is it’s fine to send afterwards!

amother

Aster

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 7:09 am

amother Junglegreen wrote:

I know. But I’m just saying it’s not mishloach manos.

She’s not exactly fulfilling the mitzvah of mishloach manos now anyway as it’s not Purim yet Wink

Op I would send after Purim. A gift is always appreciated.

amother

NeonYellow

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 7:23 am

amother Junglegreen wrote:

What does this mean giving before or after Purim? You want to give a present, fine. But mishloach manos is a mitzvah of Purim If you give it on another day it’s not mishloach manos

It’s not given on time anyway. Instead of giving it before she’s giving it after. This is how it works with teachers. We are yotzei the mitzvah with one, most are just symbolic gestures.

Highstrung

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 7:30 am

The only reason why I make the effort to go on Purim to the teachers is because my kids want to show off their costumes and get that extra minute of attention . Otherwise I’d just give all the MM before Purim or after Purim. It’s hard for the teachers too, to stick around for the students visits . With all the traffic and different timings per teacher it isn’t always feasible to go on Purim itself.

bsy

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 7:58 am

I sent the assistants mm to school because I knew we wouldn't get there on Purim. And my child forgot to give one of them. So she'll get it after purim. I'm a therapist in a school and I wouldn't think twice if someone gave me after purim. Especially this year, when my last day is a good few days before the actual Purim. Not everyone has everything prepared a few days in advance

amother

Junglegreen

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 8:09 am

bsy wrote:

And would you think twice if someone wouldn’t give at all?

bsy

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 8:10 am

amother Junglegreen wrote:

And would you think twice if someone wouldn’t give at all?

Definitely not. Most don't give, a few do

zaq

Thu, Mar 21 2024, 9:03 am

It depends on what your intention is. If it's to give stam a gift it's fine, but if your intention is to fulfill the mitzvah of MM, it's not.