holding hand advice!

manhattanmom

Mon, Aug 18 2008, 9:13 pm

I really have no idea if this is normal or not--it probably is but I want to check:

My son is almost 14 months old and has been walking for about 2 months already. He LOVES the fact that he can walk independently and discover his own things--especially when he's outside and we definitely are encouraging him to walk independently and to explore (with supervision of course.)
The problem is that he will NEVER follow me, walk alongside me, and totally REFUSES to walk when either my husband or I gently take his hand. Is this normal for his age and does anyone have any suggestions on how I could work on this?
I'm talking about really short distances--like walking within the park with the stroller next to us...

Twizzlers

Mon, Aug 18 2008, 9:42 pm

yep, it took my little guy a while to learn that you have to hold mommy's hand sometimes (like crossing the street) he still doesnt like to hold on (at 23 months kah) but when we get to the street, if he doesnt want to hold on, then I have to carry him. slowly he's catching on. one thing that does help; if I ask him to "help" me push the baby's stroller then I at least have him holding on to something.

greenfire

Mon, Aug 18 2008, 10:55 pm

I know somebody whose kid pulled out of a holding hands position and ran into a busy street - sad to say he is no longer with us ...

I learned to hold my kids hands not hand to hand which easily slips out - but rather my hand firmly around their wrist ... not all kids need this but at least the ones who do cannot break the hold ...

you can always resort to one of those kiddie leashes ... What

happymom

Mon, Aug 18 2008, 10:59 pm

it is TOTALLY normal! they want to be as independant as they can and are learning at this age that they are thier own person.

what I do is just pick up my son when crossing streets, or when I need him to go a certain way other then the way he dicided we are going Wink

(when hes not in the stroller but he usually is for walks

zigi

Mon, Aug 18 2008, 11:48 pm

my kids walked better on their own. when they got older and better at walking they could hold my hand and not trip. I hold my kids wrists at busy intersections or by the subway, I have their hand and they can't run away on me, like greenfire said a leash might be a good idea you can hold on to them and they have their own sense of balance,

mamacita

Tue, Aug 19 2008, 10:02 am

greenfire wrote:

I learned to hold my kids hands not hand to hand which easily slips out - but rather my hand firmly around their wrist ... not all kids need this but at least the ones who do cannot break the hold ...

This is what I do w/ dd. My thumb and forefinger are around her wrist, and the rest of my fingers are holding her hand. I really only do this on shabbos when there aren't any cars anyway, the rest of the time she is strapped into a stroller since I can't trust her yet. Better a screaming, unhappy, restrained child than one like what greenfire described.

manhattanmom

Fri, Aug 22 2008, 6:36 pm

Hm...I've tried to hold his wrist and give a gently tug for him to walk in my direction--we've never walked in the street--this is just when I want him to walk even just a few feet from the swings in the park to his stroller. He wants to wander around and walk his own way, I hold onto his wrist and tell him firmly to walk with mommy, he screams and then pulls himself to a sitting position and shakes his head NO! He's just about 14 months now. Does anyone think I have any hope??

catonmylap

Sun, Aug 24 2008, 1:56 am

manhattanmom wrote:

I just pick him up when this happens and take him in the direction I want to go. Then I put him down again and he usually goes in the right direction, if not I pick him up again. In the park, he's run out of the park in the direction away from home (and his stroller). I just carry him back and again and draw his attention to something else.

We walked to shul and back yesterday. (The Shabbat elevator was down so I couldn't deal with getting the stroller down).

If it's just the park, I would give him some room to wander in the direction he wants to go and follow him.

manhattanmom

Sun, Aug 24 2008, 10:40 am

catonmylap wrote:

manhattanmom wrote:

So that's basically what I've been doing. In the park, I definitely let him just walk around and explore... and I follow him. One day this week I was watching my 6 week old niece for a little while in the park as well and it was a bit hard to chase after him while pushing her in the stroller (she was sleeping) I'm just getting a bit nervous about this being constant when he becomes a big brother....Also, it's getting harder for me to just lift him up and carry him ALL of the time now that I'm pregnant....

BusyBeeMommy

Sun, Aug 24 2008, 1:18 pm

I totally know how you feel! DD started walking at 9 months and she would NEVER walk in the same direction as me, and for sure never hold my hand. Now she's 17 months old and she's slowly learning. I can even get down a block or two w/ her holding my hand. She's got the independant personality which I'm assuming ur DS has so she has no fear of running away from me and going somewhere on her own. I think ur DS is still young, give him some time to learn. My DD will s/t pull away from me, so I try to distract her and tell her "look, let's go see that birdie (in the directio I need to get)." Usually works. She knows if she doesn't listen she gets picked up and carried and she doesn't like that!

I think it's also a personality type. My friend's DS never gave her a problem w/ holding her hand. he was always very cautious and never wanted to part from her. He's the type that's afraid of strangers...