Is non-vaxxing a reason to nix a shidduch? Poll

amother

Hunter

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:51 pm

Honestly as someone who comes from a non vaxing family it wouldn't bother me but most ppl don't have kids home all the time from mumps, measles, etc. None of us got sick with any of those and honestly we barely ever got sick and never even needed antibiotics....
As someone who is forced to vax because of schools I do it late and very slowly.
It really depends on the natural mindedness of the family. Just because someone doesn't want to vax doesn't mean they do any other crunchy things....

amother

Daffodil

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:54 pm

Notsobusy wrote:

I think that's because the nonvaxing inlaws are often very strong minded and one track minded and push their children to do what they do. I would not want to do a shidduch with such people regardless of if I had a son or daughter in shidduchim.

Not the case here…

amother

Charcoal

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:58 pm

What a way to stereotype families that you don’t even know. The families that are really that strong minded and controlling , paranoid wouldn’t do a shidduch with you. Those types look for like minded families.

lakewood mom

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 9:58 pm

English3 wrote:

I know regular families that just dont vaccinate. They go to drs and give meds etc. I love the way you threw in that they get sick the whole time... Measels/mumps etc come once in a lifetime and the body is immune. These virus come every few years and only kids that havent had them catch it.

Its your decision ultimatly but know then many parents only get educated once they have kids, so man can plan but only Hashem knows...

I found this funny as well. It sounds like the people she got info from were projecting their own feelings of the family not vaccinating… always home with measles and mumps. As if…

amother

Charcoal

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:02 pm

lakewood mom wrote:

I found this funny as well. It sounds like the people she got info from were projecting their own feelings of the family not vaccinating… always home with measles and mumps. As if…

Lol the anti vaxxers that I know rarely get sick or need to see a doctor.

Chayalle

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:03 pm

lakewood mom wrote:

I found this funny as well. It sounds like the people she got info from were projecting their own feelings of the family not vaccinating… always home with measles and mumps. As if…

I would think this could only be the case in a very large family. I'm from a large family myself BAH, and I remember how when I was little I got the chicken pox, and my whole family up to that point soon caught it. A few years later, the next set had the chicken pox...and a few years later, the next set....each time, it was staggered over a few weeks time, and my poor mother was dealing with one after another after another getting it.....

So I'm picturing a large family that is not vaxing, and there can be a domino effect of measles/mumps taking over multiple weeks, and at different times....I would imagine that's what she means.

amother

Charcoal

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:16 pm

Chayalle wrote:

A family like that would be famous- all over the news!

amother

Bergamot

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:26 pm

amother Linen wrote:

The non-vaxxing is usually just the tip of the iceberg.....

Please elaborate. As a hesitant, delaying vaxer with many lovely non-vaxing friends, I would love to know what other kinds of crazy things you think follow.

fig

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:35 pm

I used to be typical pro vaccine. Gave my 8 kids all vaccines on schedule. Ever since the Covid vax- I’ve been reading and hearing and regret every shot I gave my kids and would love to do a shidduch with a boy or girl who is healthy and not injured by the vaccine in terms of fertility or chances of cancer. Why would a not vaxer want to allow their child to marry my kids ??!!
These vaccines have long reaching horrible effects. Crohns, allergies , adhd, fertility issues did not exist in these amounts before all the new vaccines were forced onto us.
Throw the tomatoes

amother

Blush

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:41 pm

fig wrote:

Same here. Covid opened my eyes and I would absolutely not do a shidduch with someone who was covid vaxxed.

amother

Royalblue

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 10:55 pm

It doesn't matter whether I'm pro or anti. It's a major difference in philosophy, so no, I would not want to do a shidduch with someone who does the opposite, as they're so obviously incompatible. And they wouldn't want to either, rightfully so.

amother

Milk

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 11:01 pm

I didn't vote, because it really depends. It can be a reason, depending on how militant they are about it, if they choose schooling etc. based on it, how they feel about those who do vaccinate, the policies of the child in question, and their general approach to medicine and healing.

It can be a minor disagreement or a major philosophical difference.

I wouldn't knock it off the bat, but I would look more into it. It's not a non-issue, but might not be a big deal either.

Or to clarify, there are those who don't vaccinate, and those who are ANTI VAXXERS. I don't think they are the same thing at all. (I generally avoid vaccinating, but would probably avoid a shidduch with a rabid anti-vaxxer.)

giftedmom

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 11:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

FTR, we’re giving a boy and people are telling us that girls tend to raise their family like they grew up. From the info we heard, this family constantly had sick kids at home from measles, mumps, etc and the mother is into holistic remedies.

I would stay away mostly because everyone I know like that is a certain type

amother

Indigo

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 11:15 pm

fig wrote:

See this is exactly the issue. People that don't vax it becomes their whole personality. You just blamed all the world problems on vaccines!!
I would not do such a shidduch for many reasons.

I am nit the world's biggest pro vaxxer btw.not even close. But the anti vax attitude bugs more than the actual idea that they are no vaccinated

amother

Brunette

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 11:31 pm

amother DarkPurple wrote:

I’m a medical professional. I’m guessing it would be a mutual nix.

A good friend of mine is a medical professional. Vaccinated all her kids for over 15 years until one had a terrible reaction, at which point she started looking into it and became anti vax. People's views can change, even those of medical professionals.

amother

Nemesia

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 11:36 pm

I agree with those saying check out the individual. Sometimes the kids suffered from it one way or another and go the opposite direction. Many years ago, a woman posted on here that she got rheumatic fever and needed open heart surgery and had a lifelong heart condition because her mother was against antibiotics when she was sick and it went to her heart. I always remembered that story bec it reminded me that growing up I knew a girl who needed emergency open heart surgery (age 9/10). She was bh fine. I never thought of it until then but her mother was also very holistic and all natural and I think anti vax, antibiotics. I wondered if it was her, but I don't know if her condition had anything to do with her mom's all natural thing.
But my point is you never know how the kids decide to go after being raised in that family. Some go all in and some really not.

amother

Lilac

Sat, Mar 30 2024, 11:56 pm

amother OP wrote:

I voted yes
I’m not worried about diseases per se

I’m worried that people that are anti vax and go against the crowd and community have certain attitudes.

It’s the attitude that’s the problem

amother

Mocha

Sun, Mar 31 2024, 12:13 am

I don't vax, and neither does my family. We do natural stuff, but also antibiotics as needed. We're not extreme in any direction and the vaxxing isn't "part of my personality." I probably think about it less than people who DO vaxx because I don't even think about where my kids are up to and which shot they need!
I don't think the problem is the vaxxing (or not) the problem is the extremeness. I wouldn't do a shidduch with someone who's extreme in any area, whether it's extreme pro or anti vaxx, or extreme in a different area.
And I don't think people who are natural have kids home sick more often... that doesn't even make sense. Measles and mumps don't go around often enough for people to be sick all the time. Also, once you have it, you're immune.