The worse hostess ever

Log in / Sign Up

List of Forums + New Post Recipe Box Usergroups Following My Posts Bookmarks

Private Messages Advanced Search Rules New User Guide FAQ Advertise Contact Us

Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next

View latest: 24h 48h 72h

ChossidMom

Sat, Feb 07 2009, 11:48 pm

mimivan wrote:

Chossidmom..
that didn't happen in my case, because I brought my two Shabbos alarm clocks Wink

(the two little guys...)

I meant sem girls. Arghhhhhh! They (at least some of the ones I had) drive me nuts!

By the way, I must request that AH change the title to "Worst GUEST ever".

Akeres Habayis

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 12:51 am

greenfire wrote:

while having the perfect guest might make things easier ... perhaps the test is having the "impossible" guest yet still remaining a perfect hostess ...

greenfire this is what I thought. hachnosis orchim isn't to your friends its to people just like her,and even though she was...whatever,I felt that I should have let her stay another night.my oldest was shocked by my behavior,and I thought to myself,oy vey,some lesson I'm teaching her!

I appreciate the compliments,and to the amother,who knows who I'm talking about shock

I ran down the list of people I know on imamother,and I was for sure no one would know who.I dont get out much to classes,so I didnt tell anyone who was coming to me for shabbos,I guess she did.

bubby u are right,my dh said the same thing,bc he saw that I was bent out of shape(that's terrible w/the naked shabbos guy LOL

)and I dont usually show it,but I think I did to her Sad

Ima'la

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 1:30 am

But being a perfect hostess doesn't mean making yourself and your family into doormats. If she was that disruptive to your household, you don't have to let her stay an extra night. You don't want to be the perfect hostess at the expense of being the perfect "Akeres Habayis"! Smile

Akeres Habayis

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 3:28 am

u are right ima'la
just posting and reading the responses have been good for me.

Tamiri

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 3:56 am

Akeres, I am nowhere near as good a hostess as you are, but I did have that situation once. I don't want to give too much info in case our guest is on this list, but suffice it to say that although the guest had expressed a wish to stay over Saturday night, DH drove the gues (!!!) to the bus on Motzash because it was getting impossible. We felt bad, but it was the only thing to do in that case. Which is how it seems in yours.
I don't think that you have to make your baby and DH and DD and yourself suffer because of someone else's lack of social graces. And I am willing to bet you are not the first one to feel this way about this particular guest. You did a huge mitzva, an should appreciate yourself for that ability!

TzenaRena

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 4:03 am

Quote:

It seems like your guest was expecting you to make many changes in your Shabbos routines. not so innocent to be so clueless.

Now I've sometimes reacted in annoyed fashion to something really innocent, and then my kids are also upset. What can you do? It's either be perfect, never say anything wrong, or never take guests. the first is impossible (for me), the second isn't right. So we're left trying to do the best we can, and hoping that the good outweighs the mistakes we make. ( Not that I think you made a mistake) and try better next time, think over what we would do differently.

I've become very spoiled with some of our guests, we got used to having tzaddikim. They compliment us, give gifts, I start thinking maybe I'm really a good hostess, nah, then one of the other kind comes along, and I realize it had nothing to do with me... LOL

TzenaRena

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 4:17 am

Tamiri wrote:

This reminds me, we have girls and women for 22 Shevat, and we get calls way in advance, so one year, a family came to us for Yud shevat, and knew that they can only stay for a week, although their visit to U.S. was for two, because the girls' and shluchos conventions are on 22 shevat and we are booked.

Well, I saw that the family didn't seem to have plans where they were staying after us, there was no concrete answer, when I asked if they had another place, so I actually asked a friend who knew this family if she could take them. She said yes. Now they don't live in CH, although close enough, so the family didn't prefer to go there, and said they'd find arrangements. However as the date for the girls arrival drew nearer, I decided to fudge and say they were coming that day, so I'd have at least one day to get the rooms empty and ready. Well what do you know, the first group of girls actually DID arrive that day, and the family was still there! We literally packed them up, and my husband offered to drive them to my/their friend. Seeing the girls' suitcases, they knew they had no choice.

I guess that was a similar experience to your's AKH, but I didn't feel guilty. (Only for my friend, but it turned out okay.)

bubby

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 7:58 am

mimivan...

Rolling Laughter

ChossidMom

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 9:08 am

For the record, Mimivan's alarm clocks didn't wake ME (I had my own kids for that LOL

). But even if she hadn't had them to wake her, something tells me she wouldn't have woken up for kiddush.

supermama2

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 9:37 am

It's rude what she did but what really got me is the sleeping in...I think it's really rude for a guest to sleep in way past the hosts.. I try to never do that!
You get big mitzvah points for hosing this person!! It's a bonus for you so enjoy that you got through the test!

greenfire

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 9:48 am

Akeres Habayis wrote:

you had her for shabbos - she said in no certain terms she was going to annoy you all night by staying up ... you didn't really have much of a choice ... you did the right thing sending her packing and the lesson you taught your precious dd is to know when it's too much and you shouldn't lose out on sanity and taking care of your own family - after all "tzedaka starts at home"

mimivan

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 10:15 am

ChossidMom wrote:

For the record, Mimivan's alarm clocks didn't wake ME (I had my own kids for that LOL

). But even if she hadn't had them to wake her, something tells me she wouldn't have woken up for kiddush.

don't you mean I would have woken up for kiddush? Scratching Head

TzenaRena

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 10:36 am

SarahO. wrote:

I'm picturing you with a garden hose spurting torrents of water on the hapless woman. LOL

greenfire

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 10:40 am

what about if the host sleeps in ... I hate that cause I'm an early waker and need breakfast before I'm off to shul ... Mr. Green

cindy324

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 11:31 am

Quote:

what about if the host sleeps in ... I hate that cause I'm an early waker and need breakfast before I'm off to shul ...

Well....I have to admit that I will not wake up early on shabbos, but if I have guests I'll be sure to place all breakfast items on the table the night before, will show them where to find the milk and coffee, so they can help themselves. In fact, I usually tell them right off the bat to help themselves to anything in the fridge and cupboards, and to feel right at home.

Raisin

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 11:33 am

I don't think it is wrong to sleep in, but making noise till all hours is just wrong.

Mama Bear

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 11:56 am

Whats wrong with a guest sleeping in, she doesnt have to actually do anything at the hostesse's house.

But waking up the family members?

she sounds like something is wrong with her, honestlyh.

amother

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 12:18 pm

my DD was in Sem several years ago and a family that I knew had her over for a shabbos. she told me that they made her leave Motzie Shabbos and left her at an intersection to get a bus they did not even wait for the bus to come just left her out in the cold waiting for the bus. I blamed it all on the family but am wondering now if there was something that she may have done to have them treat her like this -- I do know that she usually slept a lot on shabbos when she went away

greenfire

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 12:32 pm

cindy324 wrote:

Quote:

what about if the host sleeps in ... I hate that cause I'm an early waker and need breakfast before I'm off to shul ...

actually I'm usually good at finding stuff ... although one person's dh yelled at me for eating on a meaty table cloth - I'm like I put a paper towel ... oh well you can't win some ...

gryp

Sun, Feb 08 2009, 12:35 pm

I was the worst hostess ever on Shabbos too. I didn't get out of bed until 2:30 PM.
I'm on day 4 of the flu.
My guest didn't look that well either, come to think of it. Not that I was really there to notice.

Page 2 of 5

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 Next