Need a Sleep Solution!

mimivan

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 4:28 am

my 8 month old will only nurse to sleep. I'm kind of tired of this...I'd like him to go to sleep a different way. He's getting kind of big ba'h and I can't do anything else when I nurse him like before. And I need to work some evening hours and find that when I nurse him to sleep I fall asleep myself.

I transitioned my others from falling asleep excusively from nursing to rocking in a stroller. This one is not satisfied with that. Any ideas to transitioning to stroller or another solution...
also anyone read or have Elizabeth Pantly's NO Cry Sleep Solution? What do you think? Can you give me tips from the book (because it is a pain to have books shipped to Israel, but if it is worth it, I would be willing to buy it)
I prefer not to let him CIO, but I don't mind hearing from people who do this...just no lectures about how I spoiled my baby...I know...and I'll probably do it again iy'h... LOL

(I don't mind "spoiling" newborns...but when they hit half a year, then it's time for some structure...I know some believe in structure from the get-go...vive l'difference!)

EvenI

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 4:46 am

Just to horrify you, I'm almost in the same situation except that mine is 18 months old.

My son does go to sleep without nursing in all of the following situations:
- when he's in gan, for a daytime nap, most days (I.e. I am not there.)
- when he is physically tired and is wheeled somewhere in his stroller (not rocking back and forth).
- in a car (like most kids)
- when left to fall asleep on his own, sometimes, but not others.

These are my thoughts:

1. Does he go to sleep some other way in some context in which you are not present? I.e. no opportunity to nurse. (maybe the situation doesn't arise) If so, maybe it will be like this until he stops nursing, but after he completely weans, whenever that may be, he will not be expecting to nurse , so he will be more open to going to sleep without it.
2. For night time, you may need to develop a lengthy bedtime routine, including maybe a bath, putting on pajamas, talking to him about going to bed, turning off the light, singing hamalach hagoel, looking for teddy bears or something like that (if he recognizes their existence), etc. If you can make everything relaxed and calm and different from the day, maybe he will relax without nursing. I find that this sometimes works and other times doesn't - it's a mood thing.
3. If you haven't tried CIO at all in any way, you may find it worthwhile to try to close the door and let him CIO for just a few minutes as an experiment - you may be surprised how quickly he goes to sleep.

BeershevaBubby

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 7:22 am

The problem with the stroller and even with the music (with music, what do you do on Shabbat?) is you're substituting one addiction for another.

What you need to start doing is sleep training your children to find their own ways to fall asleep without your help (like being pushed in a stroller) or with something external that may become problematic (like the music).

I'm not saying that all external comforters are bad, my toddler has a pacifier. My daughter used to have a doll, but we made sure to have several of the same kind stocked in case it got lost or got 'loved to pieces'.

At about 6 weeks old, I started nursing my toddler to 'almost' asleep. When he'd be at that point (and finished nursing), I'd place him in his crib and let him fall asleep in his crib.

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 8:02 am

mimivan, I have the no cry sleep solution and I thought that it was a silly book with nothing new written.

for example, what yesha said, that you should put your baby to sleep almost asleep instead of asleep. that was her BIG thing that she "figured out". she kept on repeating it over and over again in the book that you have to put the baby to sleep when they are not yet totally asleep.

ill give you my two cents on the CIO solution. at about 5 months, my baby was sleeping through the night but it would take her FOREEEEEEEEEEEVER to be put to sleep. and it would get to a point where both me and my husband would end up doing ten thousand things to get her to sleep. we did that for a few months and then I said "enough". this is making me nuts and very cranky (to put it mildly) so we tried the CIO. but we had already agreeded that we would not let her cry forever. we would start with 20 and go into her calm her down and then put her back into the crib. and also, very important in my mind, when putting her down for the night, I would say shema to her and as I was putting her into her crib, I would tell her liyla tov, time for sleep, ema will see you in the morning.
well, the first time she cried for 10 minutes and stopped. there were a few times that she did cry and we had to go in to calm her down, but over a few weeks at most, she was able cry less and less and sooth herself and fall asleep. now, BH she is almost a year and when I walk with her on my shoulder to her room and tell her its time to go to sleep, she knows already. she gets get head and arms how she likes then before bed and we do the whole routine and she does not make a peep.

sorry that this was a bit long.
hope it helps a bit.

mimivan

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 8:50 am

Shabbatiscoming...
thanks for saving me the money buying the book! Actually, I'm doing just that, but I'm falling asleep before he does and that is really bad because I am supposed to be doing things at night.
I will keep your idea in my back pocket and might try it out...thanks for explaining it...
I really appreciate it!
I might opt for the stroller, but this little guy is testing the limits more than the others, and I might just have to try your method, which sounds very reasonable and effective to me.

Last edited by mimivan on Thu, Apr 23 2009, 8:57 am; edited 1 time in total

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Apr 23 2009, 8:53 am

mimivan wrote:

Shabbatiscoming...
thanks for saving me the money buying the book!
I will keep this idea in my back pocket and might try it out...thanks for explaining it...
I really appreciate it!
I might opt for the stroller, but this little guy is testing the limits more than the others, and I might just have to try your method, which sounds very reasonable and effective to me.

I forgot to mention that we also did the carriage thing. it worked great for a few weeks and then it just stopped working so we also had to find another way and thats when we started the sort of CIO but not till they are blue inthe face method.
good luck !