overdressed/underdressed kids

Seraph

Mon, Apr 27 2009, 7:41 am

If a parent send their kid to you quite overdressed, or even moderately overdressed for the weather, would you change their clothing, or leave it up to the parents to decide how their kid should be dressed, even if they're shvitzing away?
What if they're underdressed for the weather- would you dress them more warmly?

Do you think its a teachers place to make sure the kid is dressed right, or should a teacher stay out of it, leave the decision to the parent, even if the kid looks uncomfortable?

e1234

Mon, Apr 27 2009, 8:01 am

Quote:

I'm not a teacher but as a parent, if my kid was over or underdressed to the point that it would cause them to get sick, I would appreciate if the teacher would change them.

me too. My sons babysitter has put on tights a few times or took off a layer and I appreciated it.
Especially these days you never know what type of clothing to dress the kids in.

greentiger

Mon, Apr 27 2009, 8:15 am

Yeah, I agree. I often send my daughter to the metapelet with an extra sweater on because its colder in the morning, and the she just leaves it on all day.

I would hope that if I used bad judgment one morning and my daughter wasn't dressed weather appropriately then the teacher would take care of her temporarily and let me know that the kid wasn't comfortable in the clothes I chose.

Marion

Mon, Apr 27 2009, 8:16 am

e1234 wrote:

Quote:

I'm not a teacher but as a parent, if my kid was over or underdressed to the point that it would cause them to get sick, I would appreciate if the teacher would change them.

me too. My sons babysitter has put on tights a few times or took off a layer and I appreciated it.
Especially these days you never know what type of clothing to dress the kids in.

It depends. I don't like "borrowing" clothes from other kids or from the daycare. If I think the weather is borderline then I'll bring a sweater & put it in his cubby, and if the staff think he's cold they can use it. However if I haven't provided something, then I'd prefer they wouldn't "lend" me something else. I don't put my kids in "tights". I *hate* it when they tuck their trousers into their socks. I also don't want them running around only in a diaper or only in a diaper & onesie. They always have layerable items in their cubbies, and they usually arrive in at least 2 layers as well.

Seraph

Mon, Apr 27 2009, 8:39 am

There is a mother that ALWAYS sends her son in sweatshirts. In the winter, he'd often be wearing as many as 4 or 5 layers. He is flushed most of the time. I took off his sweatshirt today because we went outside and I was MELTING looking at him. But I dont think it was a slight oversight on the mothers part, a mistake being unsure about the weather, because no matter what the weather, she overdresses him. And I felt guilty, because obviously she wanted him dressed that much.

And there is this other kid who often would come in the winter with no undershirt, a tee-shirt, and no available sweatshirt/sweater to put on. And his skin would be constantly FREEZING! But I never dressed him in warmer clothes though, because I didnt want mom to get upset.

normama

Mon, Apr 27 2009, 8:49 am

well I now understand that some mom's think that cuz they're cold, the kids are cold.
or it's just misplaced tznius
my SIL dresses her kids in TIGHTS, thick, ribbed TIGHTS all year round from about age 1.
so this shabbos it was 85 degrees and her kids are in tights, long sleeve blouses, and satin/velvet / wool dresses on top. the next day in shirts, sweaters, wool skirts and tights.
and the girls are 2 and 4yrs old...
did I mention 85 degrees and humid and playing outside???
WAY too many layers, and they might have had undershirts on too!
if I was their gannenet, I would strip down a layer.
but I'm their aunt. so I just sit there shvitzing looking at them....

amother

Mon, Apr 27 2009, 9:58 am

My babysitter has never added layers to my kids, but has stripped if they seem to hot. I definitely appreciate it! Does the kid who is always cold own a sweater or sweatshirt? I know that it may seem silly but if the family can't afford it or something I would mention to the mother that she shouldn't worry about sending one, but I happen to have one in the kid's size around, and would be happy to use it for him in case he seems cold.

YALT

Mon, Apr 27 2009, 11:01 am

as a mother, I would want my child's teacher to add/takeoff layers as needed.
However, not according to how you feel. rather according to what the kid's needs are.
DS is a big shvitzer. He barely ever wore an undershirt as a baby. When he was born he came home from the hospital wearing and undershirt, stretchy, sweater & hat, and in the Baby Bundle. When we came in the house and opened him up, he was sopping of sweat. Never mind it was right in the middle of a snowstorm.

As a babysitter, myself, I have taken the liberty to take off layers when really necessary, as well as add one of my kids sweaters when necessary. The parents have not shown any signs of being upset, and I hope they would tell me if it did bother them.
A few years ago, when I was babysitting in the school, there was one mother who did tell us: I dress my child according to the way I see fit. Please do NOT take off any layers." We would watch that kid shvitzing away, but would not dare take anything off.

Imaonwheels

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 1:02 am

It is not always indecision though there are times in the year when it can be cold and rainy or shvitzing hot.

The one year I did as a gannenet I learned that comfort is one of the least used reasons for how a kid is dressed. Many mothers, especially young insecure Israeli mothers, have told me that they don't want someone to think their child is not "metupach" (well cared for or raised) so they send babies less than a year to maon in matching outfits. I think I mentioned once the 5 yr old whose mother just *loves* suspenders so she sent her kid in them every day making going to the bathroom a nightmare. For some kids are always cold and for some they are always hot. We even had a parent who objected that her ds had to have a kippa and shoes when coming to cheder because she hates restrictions (she is a very large person) and making a kid be uncomfortable to meet others standards. She also used to keep them in long messy hair long after upsheren.It was hard to keep other kids from laughing at them.

amother

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 1:25 am

As a teacher for 10 years, I've come to realize that parents from certain countries where the heating isn't as sufficient as it is in the US (I know you're in E"Y, seraph, butI'm just trying to prove a point) tended to dress their kids in layers - too many layers, usually. I think they're accustomed to having to dress that way to keep warm in the coldeer months. And yes, I have removed layers from a child and sent them home in (gasp) only 1 t-shirt (that was supposed to be the undershirt) and 1 pair of pants on a 70-degree day, under their jacket. And when they call and I get screamed at, I gently try to help them to realize how much warmer it is now in the spring/summer (whatever is happens to be) and that our classroom is comfortable and not too cold, and that they can send extra clothing in their bag, just in case. Sometimes it helps; sometimes it doesn't. But I still take off the extra clothing.
And it's definitely your place to make sure that they're not iver- or under-dressed for the weather. They're so little and can't always tell you if they're uncomfortable because of their clothing - so who's going to help them if you don't? Plus, they could get sick from being overheated in the hot months or not warm enough in the colder months...

raizy

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 9:44 pm

I with amother I usally take off some layers and I add a sweater or a hat if I go out and its a bit chilly sometimes the mothers are so rushed that they dont dress the kid right for the weather. no mother ever scream at me . they are usally so thankfull that someone cares enough about their kid.