He bites! | Imamother

Seraph

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 6:11 am

My son bites kids. When he's frustrated at a situation, angry at a kid, or overtired.
What do I do to teach him ABSOLUTELY NO BITING!?
Today alone he bit 4 kids!

de_goldy

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 6:20 am

buy him a teething ring/chewy toy.
it is often a sensory need the child has. we have children in our preschool who start asking for the chewy toy after we give it to them a couple of times, and the biting stops. this way they have something that is totally ok to bite. and we emphasize that - "I see you need to bite - here is something that's ok to bite".

we do also, of course, talk about how teeth are for biting and chewing food, not people.

Seraph

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 6:51 am

ChossidMom wrote:

ABSOLUTELY NO BITING.

If it happens again - punish (revoke some privilege)

Like what? Time outs don't seem to be working, nor does really stern talking. What privilege can I revoke from a 1.5 year old?

Teething ring/chew toy? I dont think its a sensory thing- I think its a "I'm mad- lets do something that'll get a reaction"-"OWWWW" thing.
What kind of teething ring do you mean for a toddler? The only teething rings/chew toys I know of are ones that have some gel in it and are frozen, and should NOT be given to someone once they actually have teeth.

Nomad

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 6:57 am

when ds started hitting, I immediately said "NO HITTING!" and plopped in his crib (which he hates). after crying for a little bit I went to him and again said " I put you in the crib because you hit. NO HITTING - ok?" and then I take him out. that seems to be working so far...ds is also 18 mo.

de_goldy

Tue, Apr 28 2009, 7:21 am

Here are two types of chewy toys we use in our preschool. All the toddler classrooms have them, as well as other sensory brushes and squeezy balls etc. the kids love it and it is an outlet for their sensory needs. Of course we also do LOADS of sensory activities.

http://www.especialneeds.com/t......html

http://www.especialneeds.com/grabber.html

One other type we use I couldn't find a picture of, but it is like a thin, long peice of very stretchy rubber that the kids can chew on and/or stretch. it is easy enough to stretch that they can do it, but provides enough resistance that it fills a sensory need in their arms.

amother

Mon, Jun 01 2009, 6:04 am

I think you should keep your son home for a few more months, maybe he needs more Mommy time or isn't mature enough to be around other children for so long. I don't think it's fair to the other kids to be worried about getting bit by him. I know if I was a parent of one of those children and it happened more than once I'd pull my kid out of the playgroup if the Morah didn't insist that you take your child out.

merelyme

Mon, Jun 01 2009, 6:10 am

amother wrote:

Hee hee. So you'll keep him home, Seraph?
For what it's worth, imho it's like many things you've posted about with your cutie-pie: gam zeh yaavor, sooner rather than later.

Seraph

Mon, Jun 01 2009, 10:59 am

amother wrote:

He has mommy time ALL day- he is in MY playgroup, at MY house. So I should kick my son out of my gan?

And honestly, how does kicking a kid out of a situation teach them not to bite? I think I wouldnt kick out ANYONE, unless they had some serious mental issues and needed special ed, because where else are they supposed to go? The issue will be an issue ANYWHERE. The question is how to deal with it, not kick out the kid.

sky

Mon, Jun 01 2009, 11:27 am

When ds was a little older then 2 (older then your son - so I don't know if it is appropriate for you son's age) he was biting a lot! His morah asked me if she could put pepper in his tongue - I agreed because I didn't like that he was biting.

He has not bitten since.

But he was old enough to understand the connection between biting and the pepper. I would only do it if a child was old enough to understand.

cubbie

Mon, Jun 01 2009, 11:40 am

Does he give any sign that he's about to bite? My dd went through a biting phase but she made this face before, so as soon as she made the face I would intervene. I simply got down on my knees, held her hands, looked into her eyes and said "no, we don't bite, what do we do with our mouths we kiss, now kiss your sister and if you try to bite again you will have to leave the room." At the beginning there would be a second attempt and I would simply pick her up and put her in her crib, saying "I'm sorry but you tried to bite again, now you have to leave the room" I would leave her alone in her room for a minute then come back to get her and say to her "I took you out of the lounge because you were biting, do you want to come back?" (Yes) "So you're not going to bite anymore?" (No)
It really didn't take long to deal with it a few attempts and it was over.

Seraph

Mon, Jun 01 2009, 12:03 pm

Yes, most of the time I can tell before he will bite and I stop it, but I miss it occasionally. And as soon as he bites, I say "No biting! Time out!" and put him in the pack-n-play in the other room for a few minutes and leave him. He cries, doesnt want to be there. I go back to him and say "Do you want to come out of time out?" He says "Yes". I tell him "Then don't bite! Now lets go to [the kid he bit] and say sorry and give her a hug."

He bites less frequently, but in the past week, he bit the same girl twice and her mother is understandably upset. I don't know what to do though- I am trying my VERY best!!! Being very firm. I'm not treating him differently than I would any other kid because he is my child... But I am getting bad vibes from the mother--- but I dont know what else to do!!!

merelyme

Mon, Jun 01 2009, 12:10 pm

See - you already know what to do and you're doing it, it just takes time. Chinuch is like that.
There are other ways that are more immediate, of course, like giving the kid a good smack, but that's not necessarily good chinuch. And you seem pretty good at chinuch. Hang in there!

Seraph

Mon, Jun 01 2009, 12:19 pm

merelyme wrote:

This biting has been going on for a few months, but only gradually getting better. I know its also connected to his sensory issues, but those also will take a while to get sorted out...

amother

Mon, Jun 01 2009, 2:23 pm

try to make sure he never gets overtired by giving him approriate naps at the same time each day in his crib and putting him to sleep at a decent time and never taking him out past his bed time. thats what I do and bh my kids are rarely overtired.

teach him what to do in a situation that causes him to bite. likeif hes upset tell him to say mommy and you will come help but no biting. I would watch him clostely with other kids and just prevent it from happening before it happend. he will grow out of it. make sure he gets lots of love and attention in a positive way. and dont make a huge deal about the biting because then he will do it even more.

amother

Mon, Jun 01 2009, 2:25 pm

its not fair to punish him he doesnt know what else to do in those situations and needs to be taught. its like if you really wanted to communicate to someone and coudnt so you would hit them in total frustarion. thats what happned to babies and we should just teach them.

Blair

Tue, Jun 02 2009, 8:37 am

My son bites kids. When he's frustrated at a situation, angry at a kid, or overtired.
What do I do to teach him ABSOLUTELY NO BITING!?
Today alone he bit 4 kids!
_________________

TRY FEEDING HIM Scratching Head

Seraph

Tue, Jun 02 2009, 10:56 am

Blair wrote:

He isnt biting from hunger... Wink

Newsie

Tue, Jun 02 2009, 11:05 am

I don't have any advice- just commiserating. My daughter- almost 2- has turned into a seriously aggressive hair puller. I put her in time out when she does it and firmly say- no pulling hair, but I am hoping she'll grow out of it. Hang in there. And try to be on top of him and catch him right before he does it. Good luck...