Temper Tantrums...AT 8 years old!

amother

Tue, Mar 21 2006, 5:43 pm

My 8 year old daughter is a sweet, pleasant girl..yet sometimes she just looses it (I guess we all do!). She screams and hollers and throws a fit..over little things. Today she came home in a great mood, did her homework, played, even OFFERED to fold her clothes. But when dinner time came around she threw a tantrum...this time because she didn't want anyone to sit near her. (I'm an only child and she is my oldest, so I have no idea if this is "normal" behavior) Other things set her off on different days..taking her homework out of her backpack, using the bathroom before bed or even if another kid just looks at her! What can I do to help her and is this behavior typical of an 8 year old? She even kicks and scream while lying on the ground!

Mandy

Tue, Mar 21 2006, 9:49 pm

Try the calming down list. Have your daughter come up with several things that calm her down : coloring, reading, going outside, saying calming things like " This is annoying, but I can handle it". Have her make a list of 3-4 things and post the list in a prominent place. Then refer to it when a situation is escalating. Use praise and rewards if she is able to calm herself down.

Another idea is to role-play situations again with the appropriate response this time around. Most kids really like that. You might say something like : "you might have a good point, but I can't listen to you when you are so upset. After you calm down, we will practice what you can say next time when you don't want someone to sit next to you. " She can also be asked to write out what she will do next time or copy sentences, if that works for her.

Basically, you have to take away the negative behavior (calming down), replace it with a positive one ( what to do next time) and reward her for following the sequence if she tries it on her own.

About whether this is typical :
How often does she lose it per week ? What settings and situations prompt the episodes ? Does she do this in school or only at home ? How does she calm herself down eventually ?

happymom

Wed, Mar 22 2006, 8:21 am

It sounds to me like something is bothering her and at these times she lets it out. yes its normal because children dont know how to handle stress so they have tantrums... I think It would be helpful to try and find out what it is thats bothering her... when u find out what (or even if not) its a good idea to tell her u understand how she feels and find ways together in which she can act when she feels that way without making others feel bad.... tell her there are ways she can tell u how she feels without yelling.. and that if she feels she needs her space she can go to another room, or tell her siblings politely, without yelling...

Isramom8

Wed, Apr 13 2011, 1:57 pm

Could be a touch of organizational issues/ADD style behaviors but maybe not clinical ADD. I worked with my dd to get her into stable routines, and it helped a ton. Lists, routines, eating on time, eating real food...