naming after non frum relatives

amother

Wed, Jul 08 2009, 7:30 am

How do you feel about naming after non frum relatives?
Would you do it without a second thought?
Would you do it only if they really were good people in general, even if not religious?
Would you do it only if they felt positively towards Judaism?

Would it make a difference to you if this non frum person was completely secular or traditional?
Would it make a difference to you if this person was a "tinok shenishba" or someone brought up frum yet wasnt frum as an adult?

Would you give the exact name, or would you change it a drop?

BeershevaBubby

Wed, Jul 08 2009, 7:39 am

My husband and I feel that in naming our children after his secular relatives (who were not anti-religious, just.. not religious and VERY supportive of my husband's return to frumkeit) elevates the Neshama.

And since we live in Israel, they get a double elevation - the Zechut to live in Eretz haKodesh.

(And for the record, we DID speak to our Rav about this and he shares the same view).

All of my children have 2 names, my daughters are named for 2 different people (each) and our sons (who are named for secular Jews) have a second name to reflect circumstances of their conception and/or birth. However we didn't add these names because we were Davka naming for secular Jews.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Jul 08 2009, 7:43 am

I agree with yesha, that naming after a non frum person elevates that person's neshama.
I would not give it a thought in the world.

the only name that I would not really want to name after someone is someone who died young or had some bad circumstances in their lives (although even that, not in every instant)

bubby

Wed, Jul 08 2009, 7:45 am

Haven't we discussed this before? Scratching Head

IMO it's a beautiful thing. It teaches children that all Jews are special, it connects them with a heritage that made their parents what they are & consequently, allows them to be born & raised into a G-d-fearing family. We should be proud of our roots. More often than not, roots of a plant are ugly & bare, but they grow into magnificent blooms.

So there you are. Smile

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Jul 08 2009, 8:21 am

amother wrote:

bubby wrote:

Haven't we discussed this before? Scratching Head

We have, but really the whole point of this thread boils down to- would the fact that they grew up religious and went off the derech make any difference to you at all, or no.

the people who I was talking about were never religious to begin with.

amother

Wed, Jul 08 2009, 8:28 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

amother wrote:

bubby wrote:

Haven't we discussed this before? Scratching Head

We have, but really the whole point of this thread boils down to- would the fact that they grew up religious and went off the derech make any difference to you at all, or no.

the people who I was talking about were never religious to begin with.

If they were, do you think it would have changed how you felt about naming after them?

katb

Wed, Jul 08 2009, 8:30 am

YESHASettler wrote:

what does this mean?!

Seraph

Wed, Jul 08 2009, 8:35 am

katb wrote:

YESHASettler wrote:

what does this mean?!

If I'm not mistaken, they're names that reflect a child after infertility, such as simcha, etc...

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Jul 08 2009, 8:37 am

amother wrote:

shabbatiscoming wrote:

amother wrote:

bubby wrote:

Haven't we discussed this before? Scratching Head

We have, but really the whole point of this thread boils down to- would the fact that they grew up religious and went off the derech make any difference to you at all, or no.

the people who I was talking about were never religious to begin with.

If they were, do you think it would have changed how you felt about naming after them?

no, I dont think so. as I said, I would not want to name someone who died young or had a terrible circumstance in their lives, but other than that, I would name after any relative.

BeershevaBubby

Wed, Jul 08 2009, 9:58 am

katb wrote:

YESHASettler wrote:

what does this mean?!

Netanel Simcha: Netanel is my husband's paternal grandfather. Conceived after a year of IF treatments. His full name means "Hashem gives joy/happiness".

Elchanan Nissim: Elchanan was my husband's maternal grandfather. Spontaneous conception, born right between Purim and Pesach, the day before R"Ch Nissan and there were some issues during labor and delivery that gave him a 7/10 APGAR score (which I realize is not TOO bad, but when they place you newborn on you and he's bluish purple and NOT moving or crying, it stays with you).

Atali

Wed, Jul 08 2009, 11:12 am

amother wrote:

I would do it in general (although I have not yet), but would only do it if I could add a second name.

I am also much less comfortable naming after relatives who left yiddishkiet, but under certain circumstances (like a child being born on their yartzeit) I would consider it.

amother

Wed, Jul 08 2009, 11:22 am

YESHASettler wrote:

katb wrote:

YESHASettler wrote:

what does this mean?!

I have a Nesanel Boruch. The Boruch is also for circumstances around birth (preemie, etc.).

koalamum

Wed, Jul 08 2009, 11:27 am

I named my ds after a non frum great uncle. My great uncle was born religious, but when he married, his wife discouraged him from staying frum. He was a warm and gentle person, and I have good memories of him.
I also had in mind that my ds is really is named after the original Tzaddikim (2 names) from Tanach. I really did it because I just LOVE those names and I always wanted a son with those names!
I later discovered that I had two more great uncles with the exact same name combination....and they were frum!!

Ruchel

Thu, Jul 09 2009, 10:43 am

First, I don't consider myself on such a level that I can judge who is "frum" or not.
Then, who am I to judge the life of other people to the point of saying no, you don't deserve to have a namesake?
Also, that non frum person was probably named after a frum one, himself after another frum one, etc. Isn't it really negative to throw the whole thing in the trash just for one (possible) misshap?

I would name after any normal relative.