Mezinka Dance | Imamother

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Mezinka Dance
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amother

Sun, Nov 15 2009, 8:07 am

Do you do a Mezinka dance at your last child's wedding if one of your children is divorced?

amother

Sun, Nov 15 2009, 8:13 am

amother wrote:

Do you do a Mezinka dance at your last child's wedding if one of your children is divorced?

Nowadays I have been to many weddings, where no one is divorced, and there is no mezinka dance.
People are so afraid of ayin hara, that they choose to skip it for that or for other reasons.
Some dont want to face the empty nest in public, and prefer to keep it private.
Others cannot bear to think of their old age and what it signifies.
So in the past 20 years or so, I have been to many mezinka weddings, without the dance!
So, if in doubt, do without!

Lizie22

Wed, Nov 18 2009, 4:52 pm

My husband has a brother who is divorced and when his younger sister got married they did do a Mezinka dance.

Besiyata Dishmaya

Wed, Nov 18 2009, 5:15 pm

What kind of dance is that?

ra_mom

Wed, Nov 18 2009, 5:18 pm

Besiyata Dishmaya wrote:

What kind of dance is that?

The Mezinka is danced at the youngest child's wedding with brooms. Kind of like "sweeping out the house" when the last one leaves.

ShakleeMom

Wed, Nov 18 2009, 8:46 pm

Isn't it all about the child being the youngest... empty nest? It's not the youngest's problem because an older sibling moved back home.

Ronit

Wed, Nov 18 2009, 8:51 pm

I would think that you do it.

iamawife

Wed, Nov 18 2009, 8:57 pm

my dh and his youngest sister where engaged @ the same time she got married 8 week b4 us and they did it

Mama Bear

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 12:09 am

I know of 3 mothers who after doing the mezinka dance found themselves pg!! they all had their youngest kid really young, in their early 20's, and suddenly in their mid 40s after emptying the nest,had another baby!

Isramom8

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 1:16 am

I don't like the idea; I think it's insensitive. There are so many parents whose children have special needs, or died rachmana litzlan, who will never enjoy the happy occasion of marrying off all their children. Why rub it in? You may never know about a guest's personal tzuris.

I also felt uncomfortable joining the mezinka circle at my younger brother's wedding - I didn't exactly "dance", but it was a mixed circle, with mxed onlookers, and it felt weird, but my mother wanted it.

BeershevaBubby

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 1:40 am

Isramom8 wrote:

Sorry but by that logic no one should invite these people to ANY wedding, Mazinka being danced or not.

Chayalle

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 2:11 pm

My second-to-youngest sister got married recently to a youngest. Her DH has an older special-needs (DS) sibling. They did dance the mezinka at her wedding.

My mother said she will not dance the mezinka when my youngest sister gets married B"EH. This is because I have a special-needs brother who is older than her and highly intelligent, and she would never hurt his feelings.

Different situations....everyone's got to make a decision that works for them.

Raisin

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 2:32 pm

Mama Bear wrote:

sounds like a good segula!

louche

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 3:10 pm

ShakleeMom wrote:

Isn't it all about the child being the youngest... empty nest? It's not the youngest's problem because an older sibling moved back home.

Mizinka, or Muzhinke, means "youngest child", and usually the youngest and the last to be married are one and the same. But not always. If the youngest is married but an older one is not, then methinks the dance doesn't apply b/c the parents still have a child to marry off. The dance is not in honor of the kid but of the parents, (who is sitting in the center? The parents.) who can finally relax because they puffed off their last one.

I should think, that if a previously married sib moved back home, that doesn't "count" against the dance b/c that sib has already been married off.

But this is pure folk custom having zip to do with halacha, so one id free to do as one wishes. Dance it, don't dance it--as long as everyone has a good time.

amother

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 3:15 pm

My sister married the youngest, while he still had two older single brothers. They did the mezhinka dance.

onlyme

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 3:15 pm

I agree with everyone who said do whatever everyone feels comfortable with. My youngest brother is getting married soon, and we won't be doing the broom dance as my mother is vehemently opposed to it. (She claims that her nest is not emptying out, she's bringing one more in!)

amother

Thu, Nov 19 2009, 5:35 pm

This dancing with a broom for the youngest child is a Hungarian thing. It was not done in Poland, Galicia or anywhere else.

louche

Fri, Nov 20 2009, 1:52 pm

onlyme wrote:

(She claims that her nest is not emptying out, she's bringing one more in!)

I LIKE your mother! She sounds like a terrific MIL.

Isramom8

Sat, Nov 21 2009, 1:02 pm

louche wrote:

onlyme wrote:

(She claims that her nest is not emptying out, she's bringing one more in!)

I LIKE your mother! She sounds like a terrific MIL.

I see it that way too. You're never "free" of kids if you look at your role as being there for them at whatever stage they are at.

If a child is divorced, then your burden hasn't been lifted in any case, so I don't see a reason to dance.

If it's a Hungarian thing, then now I understand why my mother felt it appropriate! She comes from a Hungarian background.

Ruchel

Sat, Nov 21 2009, 1:50 pm

Never heard of this. Dh and I are both onlies and bh no one did this.

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