WWYHD? neighbors. | Imamother

amother

Mon, Aug 03 2009, 3:22 pm

Recently we had a new family move into my apartment building. The woman came upstairs on her first day there to borrow something. she seemed very sweet. as I was talking to her, her son around 5-6 kicked my dd 2 in the chest, throwing her backwards and missing a corner by a centimeter. The poor woman was so embarrassed she kept apologizing and looked like she wanted to die. I ignored it, bc my dd was fine, and I know its not her fault. I kept saying it's fine. I felt worse for her. fast forward a month or two or more. and we meet the woman in the lobby of the building. we were headed for the elevator and they were following. the second this boy saw my daughter he put his head back and threw it forward and spit square in my dd's face. now I was pissed I would have smacked the kid across the face but I was holding one kid and holding the others hand. I just yelled at the kid "what r you doing? that's disgusting, what's wrong with you?" and the mother again, all embarrassed apologized, all I did was mumble its ok and run into the elevator.

now I know should tell her, lady control you kid, but its not her fault, how would she know he would do that? but was I wrong for screaming at this kid? what would you have done.

yOungM0mmy

Mon, Aug 03 2009, 5:39 pm

Thank G-d you were holding 2 kids and couldnt slap him across the face! Maybe he needs a good slap, but not ever from you! I don't know what I would do if a neighbour slapped my kid, regardless of the situation, but it wouldnt be pretty.
Personally, I usually use strong words, including disgusting, but dont yell at other people's kids, I have a look I give that makes kids scared to start up with me (unfortunately, not my own). And definitely the mother should know that you think her son needs to a) apologise, b) be strongly controlled.

imasinger

Mon, Aug 03 2009, 5:42 pm

Maybe her son has some kind of issue that makes it especially hard to control. Given that he has twice been in a position to hurt your DD, you might want to have her stay close any time he might be around. And if something happens again, you could gently ask his mother if there's something that either you should know or that she could suggest to help your DD stay safe.

geemum

Sun, Jan 10 2010, 9:06 am

It seems to me that this kid has issues or is just a "difficult kid". Whatever, either way his behavior was unacceptable!!!

I'm not surprised you reacted that way (but so relieved you didn't slap him!) I would have reacted in a similar way probably, seeing as the kid is already 5-6 and not an "innocent toddler".

Tamiri

Sun, Jan 10 2010, 9:10 am

I think you reacted normally. What bothers me is that the woman has GOT to know her child has "issues", so why wasn't she keeping a better eye on him? It looks as though you are on your own. Even sweet mothers can have "issue" children, and it's their obligation to keep a tight reign IMO.
I'd steer clear of the boy, since your only obligation is keeping your daughter safe. BEH, the boy will menchel out with time (that's what usually happens).

Hodu Lashem

Sun, Jan 10 2010, 10:38 am

It is never appropriate to slap someone else's child, and especially never across the face. But telling him off in a strong way seems to have been appropriate, at that time. Did the mother say anything to her child about spitting at someone being wrong? She didn't make him apologize? I would keep a close eye on things whenever he is in close proximity. And if anything similar happens again, I would have a one-to-one conversation with his Mommy about his unacceptable behavior, and what she can do in the future to prevent further incidents from occurring.