Overwhelmed is an understatement :(

MyKidsRQte

Thu, Jan 14 2010, 4:53 pm

My twins were born via c-section one night after my daughter got engaged. They were in the hospital for two weeks, just long enough for them to gain some weight. I had full time help with my twins so that I can do whatever I needed to do so my daughter can get married. The last 3 mnths Ive been running on adrenaline. It is now a week after the wedding and the exhaustion is starting to kick in. My fulltime help is leaving me tomorrow, I am supposed to go back to work on Monday and I have no babysitter Sad

Im scared because Im not sure how Im going to manage my boys, work, house & family. Any ideas?

ilovedacb

Mon, Jan 18 2010, 12:21 am

Hashem Yazor! My twins came home from the hospital as my oldest turned 15 months. But I was 22 at the time. I went back to work when the twins were 9 months because I couldn't find help that would or could stay with all the little ones for a full day. See if you can swing keeping your help for a little more, just until you get back into the swing of the work schedule and things calm down from the weeding. Take a deep breath and reflect on all the wonderful things you just accomplished in your life B"H.

MetroMom

Mon, Jan 18 2010, 1:57 am

MyKidsRQte wrote:

shes leaving because originally I hired her only for 3 mnths so I can do the preps for the wedding. I have to admit I thought that Id somehow be able to manage, but I ddint realize how the exhaustion would hit me now.

How do moms of multiples manage?

I have two sets of twins ka'h. The beginning is very hard, there is no question about it. But we manage. We all do. Sometimes, however, it takes awhile for us to sort through our new lifestyle and put systems into place that enable us to make it work. The first thing you must do is put your expectations into place. Understand the difference between what 'has to' be done and what would 'be nice' if it were accomplished.

Do you have any children in the in-between ages that are home? (In other words, not away in yeshivah, etc..) If so, delegate certain responsibilities to them. You'd be surprised what you can delegate away. Even simple things. Everything makes a difference. Boys can help out too. Where is your husband in all this? Is he capable of helping? Does he want to? Are you nursing? If not then try to give your husband one of the middle-of-the-night feedings. That's what saved my sanity! My husband took the 3am feeding for a few months. Obviously here and there he was too exhausted to get up and I did it, but that enables me to get some sleep between 1 and 5:30.... (I did the 12am and 6am feedings, so until I got to sleep, etc...) Everything seems so much more possible when you've had some sleep. I delegated chores to my older twins when my little ones were but a year to two years old. My two sets are only three years apart. Even though the chores I gave my kids were very small things, they still made a little dent and everything helps! They LOVED having responsibilities! Feel free to pm me. Perhaps I can help you give you more personalized suggestions based on your specifics. Above all, please know that just the fact that you are reaching out shows what a good mom you are. Taking care of twins are hard but I'm sure that you are more than competent. It just may take time to get things running efficiently. Try to have sensible expectations.... Good luck! (and again, feel free to pm me if you'd like...)

Kumphort

Mon, Jan 18 2010, 9:25 pm

I just wanna say, that by 3 months I think things really started coming together, there was finally some sort of normal sleep patterns, naps etc, as opposed to being just one big long lazy day, of nodding off, feeding etc. babies.

I am sure I dont need to tell you that the most important thing is having them on the same (relatively) schedule.

But on the other hand give your self credit, you just had twins, via C -section, made a wedding, each one alone is exhausting, so mixing them all together is really tuff, but I am sure now that things are dying down, you'll get the hang of it

Mirabelle

Tue, Jan 19 2010, 6:50 am

I only had a baby nurse for the first two weeks after my c section (babies came home with me) but I wasn't planning a wedding and am not working at the moment. I really do not see how I could have gone back to work so fast because the childcare would be major bucks.

I agree with those that talked about splitting the night feedings. Right now, B"H one twin sleeps from 9pm-5 am, so I get up at 5. The other twin still does a 3 am feeding and DH does that.

ra_mom

Tue, Mar 23 2010, 7:20 pm

MyKidsRQte wrote:

Update: I ended up getting another nurse full time till after Peisach. I figured it will give me time to get back to myself and be able to make peisach. BH my next daughter got engaged 2 weeks ago, so I think I need to get someone new from after Peisach full time again so that I can take my daughter shopping etc

Mazel Tov!
May Hashem give you Koach and the resources for all these beautiful Simchas!

Mirabelle

Wed, Mar 24 2010, 6:10 am

Wow, I know our twins were born around the same time and you have had a 24 hr nurse since then? I am impressed! It must cost a fortune, but it is very nice that you are able to give your daughters attention during this special time.

I am not working now, so it's been all me since the nurse left two weeks after they were born, but I do have a sitter that comes for 4 hours once a week to let me get some time to take care of errands. G-d willing I will be working again come June and I do have a full time lady lined up, but only for daytime.

B"H both twins are now sleeping from like 8 or 9pm to 5am, so things here have been a lot more rosy over here.