DD afraid to go to sleepaway camp-fears getting 1st period

farm

Wed, Jan 26 2011, 4:26 pm

Of course she shouldn't have to go to camp if she doesn't want to, but I don't think you are doing her any favors feeding or allowing her period hysteria. Tell her it's really no big deal. It's not something that's embarrassing. It's not something that's a deep, dark secret. Why should she be panicking about a normal female bodily function?

chestnut

Wed, Jan 26 2011, 6:47 pm

sequoia wrote:

Tell her over and over that it doesn't hurt and it's no big deal. Whatever her experience turns out to be, it's important to dispel these fears now.

why do you think it's a good idea to tell her now that it doesn't hurt if later on it might hurt? I'd think saying that it might hurt but she can take advil is a much better idea.

Kayza

Wed, Jan 26 2011, 8:07 pm

amother wrote:

OP here
Does she put on her knapsack or coat and go to the bathroom? that is wierd. And what about when it gets warm....

Get her the thin pads, and tell her to put them in her waistband or sleeve.

Quote:

where does she put the dirty pad if/when she takes it off? Do I ask the school to put garbages in the bathroom? What have all the girls done till now- dont know

Fold it, wrap it in toilet paper and discreetly drop it in the garbage pail when she comes out.

Quote:

She knows about peiods. Hates talking about it to me. Is dreading getting it. She was crying telling me she "doesnt want it" I told her it is a Bracha- if she didnt get it, it would mean her body is NOT working- but she doesnt get it. She walks around impending doom and gloom

I wonder what she heard / read about the matter? Perhaps getting her some reading material that she can read on her own that gives her a better perspective on this - accurate technical information and a bit more on the hashkafic issues, it might be useful/

By the way, I doubt asking her where she got her ideas from is going to get you too far.

mummiedearest

Wed, Jan 26 2011, 9:09 pm

I took pads with me to camp since I was ten. I remember one year I had a "frummy" bunk, and one of the girls pulled me aside one day to tell me that my knapsack was left open and everyone had a view of my closed pack of pads, and could I please keep my knapsack closed for tznius sake?

I rolled my eyes, but closed the knapsack. not everyone is comfortable with this stuff. however, she's going to have to get used to periods sooner or later. she can use her sleeves to hide the pad. you may want to tell her that other girls knowing she's got her period is not as embarrassing as she thinks. it's natural for her to feel mortified, but many girls her age have had their period for a few years already. no mature girl will say anything to embarrass her. does she have a good friend she can talk to about this? the fact is, camp is difficult if only because there's no such thing as privacy unless swimming is optional and she's very creative. if she has one friend she'd be willing to tell when she gets her period, and that friend is in her bunk, she should be ok. if not, let her stay home and get a summer job. nothing wrong with staying home for the summer.

Mama Bear

Wed, Jan 26 2011, 9:46 pm

I never changed my pads in school! As a teen I didnt bleed heavily and I could go 7 hours with one pad. She can pile some tissues into it in the morning and flush those at lunchtime.

of course, send along midol or motrin to camp.

In 7th grade I'd already gotten my period earlier in 6th grade but it was trauma nonetheless when I got my period on my first ever day of camp. I was shaking as I tossed the pad the first time. My mother sent along some brown bags for that purpose, but the first time I did it I was crying hard and enlisted a close friend to help me.

If she has a friend she can quietly enlist to help her so they can discreetly cover for each other?

She can put the pad into her underpants discreetly in camp.

In school, well, as I wrote, I didnt change all day. Once I was married I was able to keep a tampon inside my tights at work to change.

amother

Wed, Jan 26 2011, 9:56 pm

OP here- as bizzare as it sounds her best friend is even lest developed than she is and does not have her period yet either. So she really has no good friends to talk about this with. I think she fears the unknown...

mummiedearest

Wed, Jan 26 2011, 10:04 pm

amother wrote:

it doesn't matter whether or not her friend got it yet. she just needs someone there for moral support. if she's willing to tell her friend, that would help her.

deams

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 10:19 am

I did not read through all the posts so I do not know if this was suggested. she can always roll up a few layers of toilet paper and put it in her underwear. usually periods are light when you first get them. even if its heavy she can still do this till she figures out how to get a pad. she can do this if she is on a camp trip as well.

tsiggelle

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 1:10 pm

deams wrote:

if using the idea of putting something in her underwear, I'd suggest a light pantiliner/pad that will stick and that wont move around

and dont tell her it wont hurt. tell her that it hurts for some people in different measures, explain the types of pain, so she is prepared just in case. maybe she is scared because she has no idea what type of pain so she is afraid of where she will be if/when it hits.

and a first period can be heavy.