how to stop yelling at DS???

amother

Tue, Jun 08 2010, 7:52 am

my son is 7, pushes me to my limits like you won't believe. he's a good well intentioned kid, but questions and argues w/ everything I tell him. takes forever to make up his mind and does things that will make a situation worse for himself involving his siblings. if his sister is copyoing him, he'll keep switching chairs. she thinks it's a game....oy, I'm SO tired of yelling and getting upset with him. its not good for him to hear, for him to see, it's not good for me. it's killing everyone. I'm so frustrated and at a loss of how to deal w/ him....how do I stop this horrible pattern?

fiddle

Tue, Jun 08 2010, 8:02 am

Everytime he starts find something positive about whata he did and say it. Start focusing on his positive attributes at his worst moments and maybe it'll calm him and help you see him in a different light and stop you from screaming

Milk Munch

Tue, Jun 08 2010, 8:12 am

How about reading some encouraging parenting books?
My favorite is To Kindle A Soul
My son used to be similar to what you describe. You have to learn to be patient and encouraging. You can do it!

happymom

Tue, Jun 08 2010, 9:11 am

also something to think about is, he is probably doing all that behvior because he is craving your love and acceptance. the more he is yelled at, the more he will seek out negative attention. I find with my daughter when shes not listenong or having a hard time, I take her to the couch and hold her for a while and we talk about whats going on... she calms down and is more focused. sometimes when a chilkd feels unloved they will continue pushing thier limits to see if you really love them no matter what. its important that they actually KNOW and feel that we do love them no matter what and that we have alot more positive going on. mention all the good things he does for the next couple of days, give hikm a hug and kiss a couple times a day and tell him how much you love him, ask him to help you out with things like dinner, or things that can make him feel good and praise him. I think you just might see a huge change in his behavior by shifting the attention from negative to positive.

amother

Thu, Jan 27 2011, 7:07 pm

I feel for you
I am in a similar situation
I have read so many books and gone to many parenting classes and nothing helps
sorry I don't have any advice but I know how you feel

let us know what works out for you in the end