How do I leave my job politely?

amother

Sun, May 22 2011, 1:01 am

My workplace is not a good, safe place for me to be right now and I'm seriously looking into other options. I've been with this company for 4 years now and have built really amazing relationships with many of my co-workers and bosses. I'd hate to leave them with a bad taste in their mouth. How do I leave on the best terms possible? Are there things I shouild make sure to do/not do?

Also, I've never job hunted while working in a different place. What do I tell a prospective employer?

And lastly, I'm leaving partly because there is a certain condition my boss can't agree to. However, she might cave in if she hears I have another offer. How do I handle that? (I'd love to stay in my current place if they can do what I need them to do)

DrMom

Sun, May 22 2011, 1:38 am

First of all, unless there is a very good reason, don't leave your job unless you have another offer that you like firmly in hand. It is much easier to find another job when you are employed than unemployed, as it allows you to negotiate terms from a position of strength.

Secondly, it is really not clear why you want to leave. As the previous poster said, what exactly is the problem? If you love your current job so much, maybe it's worth negotiating over this condition which you want so badly.

If you do decide to leave, you do not have to worry that leaving a job is "impolite." People do it all the time. It doesn't have to be personal -- it's business.

Be civil, and positive. "I was offered an exciting position elsewhere, and decided to pursue this opportunity, blah, blah." Don't say, "I wanted X but you wouldn't give it to me, so I'm outta here." If it was known that you wanted X and that it was a bone of contention, they will figure it out, and maybe they will offer you what you want. If you have another offer in hand, you will be negotiating from a position of strength, and then you can decide which option is best for you.

Stay cool...

zaq

Sun, May 22 2011, 1:44 am

1. When asked why are you leaving your current job, never badmouth your company. Come up with something like looking for more opportunities, challenge or responsibility.

2. You aren't married to your employer (are you?). Employers know when they hire someone that that person may eventually leave, especially if the person is young. There's no need to apologize or justify taking another job. You give them as much notice as you can, two weeks being the absolute minimum, a month or more being nice if you can. You offer to help train a replacement, throw a little going-away party, say something nice about everyone and thank them all for being such great bosses and colleagues.

You also have an exit interview with your boss in which you tell them why you're leaving. If everything was great but one thing made you leave, or you would have stayed had they done X, you tell them that. If you think your boss may do X if you're about to accept another job, then think carefully if you would truly be willing to stay if that's all your boss does. Because you also said your workplace is unsafe for you, and I'm a little confused here: you say your company is not a safe place for you right now, which makes it sound as if you must leave, yet you also say that another reason you're leaving is that your boss "can't agree" to a certain condition. Can't, or won't? If she truly can't, then what's there to talk about? If she literally can't, she can't. And if she can but won't, but might if she thinks you're going to leave otherwise, does that suddenly cancel out the fact that your workplace is not a "good,safe place" for you--whatever you mean by that--or does it just mean that Factor 1--the lack of safety--plus factor 2--your unfulfilled condition--equal job dissatisfaction, but Factor 1 alone is not enough to make you leave? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense unless Factors 1 and 2 are really the same, such as that someone is harrassing or stalking you and your condition is that they fire or transfer this person or do somethingelse to protect you, like change your hours so you and your harrasser are never at work at the same time. But if Factor 2 is something like giving you a raise, you'd be insane to accept if you literally fear for your safety.

The only way you'd leave your company "with a bad taste in their mouth" would be if you left abruptly without giving notice, engaged in some kind of sabotage before leaving like messing up files or crashing the computer, or took clients with you when you left. If you're as well-liked as you believe and you leave for a better job, you may be missed when you leave but no one will resent you. Don't confuse leaving a job with leaving a husband.

Sun, May 22 2011, 1:45 am

Decide whether you want your current employer to know you are job-hunting. Let prospective employers know whether or not it is ok to contact your current employer to check your references and confirm your work history. There are pros and cons each way, but I would advise you to be discreet. Never say anything bad about your current job to a prospective employer.

You don't have much bargaining power without a job offer in hand, unless you are willing to walk away from your current job without one. How much does your boss want you to stay? How easy would it be for you to be replaced? It sounds like you really like some things about your current job - are you likely to have better conditions at a different workplace? Is it possible that the conditions may improve at your current workplace without threatening to leave?

Once you have a job offer, ask when your response is needed. Now is the time to negotiate with your current employer. If you turn down a job offer, be polite and stay in touch! The people you met during the application process may want you in the future, at that company or a different one if they have moved on.

When you are ready to move on, request a private meeting with your boss. To leave on good terms, be polite and professional at all times. Remember, you want to be able to get good references in the future! Give notice equal to your vacation time (or a mutually agreeable length of time). Explain to your boss how you are planning to wrap up your business and create a transition plan for your replacement. Document everything.

Good luck!

amother

Sun, May 22 2011, 2:58 am

Wow! Thank you for your advice.

One of the reasons I'm being vague is that my employer is on this site....

However, to be a bit clearer, I love the dept I work for but the company as a whole is one rife with verbal abuse and manipulation and more. It is messing me up in many ways and I have no energy for this kind of thing anymore.

My boss knows that unless I don't have to have contact with certain people and more, I can't stick this out anymore. They want me pretty badly but some hands are tied it seems or I'm not as worthwhile as I think

DrMom

Sun, May 22 2011, 4:44 am

If your boss knows there is verbal abuse going on and not doing anything about it, that's not a good sign. The solution should not be to separate employees, but rather to communicate that such behavior is not tolerated in the workplace. Make sure you communiacte that it is not personal -- in principle, your should be willing to work with anyone who conducts himself properly.

I am not sure how you communicated the problem to your manager, but it should be done in a very professional, "non-personal" way. Emphasize that the behavior is unprofessional and that it creates a hostile working environment. Document specific incidents with dates, etc.

While doing this, make sure your peformance is excellent. Make it clear that YOU are not the problem, but that the BEHAVIOR is creating a hostile workplace and that you expect your employer to provide a non-hostile workplace. Keep yourself very professional, and make sure your job performance is above criticism.

Mrs Bissli

Sun, May 22 2011, 5:00 pm

Lots of good advice posted already above. If I may add my $0.02, it is NOT a wise idea to go back to your current employer to negotiate better terms with an offer from another company in hand. I've seen that a few times, but quite often the boss will try to keep you with a payrise or a bonus. BUT you may be disadvantaged in future bonuses or raises. It's something about employer/emploee relationship--once you tell them you've got an offer from someone else, it's not the same. If you're a valued employer, you may need to be mentally prepared when your boss tries to dissuade you to move.