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-> Interesting Discussions
amother
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Fri, May 27 2011, 5:16 pm
we learned that whatever comes hardest for you is your nisayon
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chocolate moose
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Fri, May 27 2011, 5:44 pm
Who even thinks of these things?
I'm sorry, but between working full time, exercising, making diner & cleaning, going to shiurim, and being home for dh and the kids sometimes, I hardly think of "my nisayon in life".
I more think about if we're going to run out of shampoo and if we have enough eggs and if someone brought up the mail.
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Bliss
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Fri, May 27 2011, 6:50 pm
I think about this every once in a while. I guess the places where we feel cornered is what we need to work on.
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momof6
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Fri, May 27 2011, 6:52 pm
Raisin wrote: | If, as grandma learnt, we are only on this world to enable men to serve Hashem, what about single women? (women have no chiyuv to get married) or women who have no kids? A widow with only daughters or no children at all should go and jump in lake becasue there is no purpose for her anymore?
bh I never learnt this atttiude because I sure find it offputting. I find it incredibly disturbing that girls are taught this.
I learnt that we are on this world to make it a dwelling place for Hashem. |
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amother
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Fri, May 27 2011, 6:59 pm
chocolate moose wrote: | Who even thinks of these things?
I'm sorry, but between working full time, exercising, making diner & cleaning, going to shiurim, and being home for dh and the kids sometimes, I hardly think of "my nisayon in life".
I more think about if we're going to run out of shampoo and if we have enough eggs and if someone brought up the mail. |
nebach...
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shabbatiscoming
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Sat, May 28 2011, 2:17 pm
amother wrote: | chocolate moose wrote: | Who even thinks of these things?
I'm sorry, but between working full time, exercising, making diner & cleaning, going to shiurim, and being home for dh and the kids sometimes, I hardly think of "my nisayon in life".
I more think about if we're going to run out of shampoo and if we have enough eggs and if someone brought up the mail. |
nebach... | Why is that nebech? I totally agree with CM. I dont really ever think about what my mission in life is. I think about if we are going to need more diapers tomorrow, if the garbage was taken down, and picking up my daughter from gan on time.
Why cant that be enough?
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Isramom8
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Sat, May 28 2011, 4:13 pm
shabbatiscoming wrote: | amother wrote: | chocolate moose wrote: | Who even thinks of these things?
I'm sorry, but between working full time, exercising, making diner & cleaning, going to shiurim, and being home for dh and the kids sometimes, I hardly think of "my nisayon in life".
I more think about if we're going to run out of shampoo and if we have enough eggs and if someone brought up the mail. |
nebach... | Why is that nebech? I totally agree with CM. I dont really ever think about what my mission in life is. I think about if we are going to need more diapers tomorrow, if the garbage was taken down, and picking up my daughter from gan on time.
Why cant that be enough? |
Well, I think this is exactly the answer. Lving our lives doing these mitzvos sincerely IS our mission. Bloom where you are planted.
OP, what do you mean "my kids are mostly done"? All married off? No grandchildren to help with? So get a job and work at it leshem shamayim. Your mission is what you make of your life, day by day. Not some giant, unknown mystery.
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Sherri
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Sat, May 28 2011, 6:43 pm
amother wrote: |
The dif. between focusing on your hardest challenge vs. focusing on what your strengths are, is perhaps similar to the two shitos of the "Gadlus hoOdom" (Slabodka) vs. the "Ich bin a gornisht" school of mussar (Novardok). | Or, the concept of your challenges v. your strengths are 2 sides of the same coin. A trait is rarely only positive or only negative.
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Mkay
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Sun, May 29 2011, 12:03 am
I'm assuming Grandmama is referring to the Gemara (don't have source now), "Nashim B'mai Zachyan?..." Where it says - what is a woman's zchus? To bring her children to learn and to wait for her husband to come home from Bais Medrash.
Although this is one way for a woman to get the zchus of limud torah - it is not her mission (the way I understand it) for what she was created.
In fact, I vehemently disagree to the "accessory" description of a woman. How can I be my spouse's accessory, if in fact we are hewn from one neshama that got split and placed into the body of man and the body of a woman. Together we are one. A woman is not the accessory, the added-on 'helper'.
So yes, when I marry, part of my mission in life now is to be the best mother / wife, just as it is my mission to be the best Jew / employee / friend I can be. My mission statement is to lead a life of Torah and mitzvos at every age and stage Hashem brings me to.
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Grandmama
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Sun, May 29 2011, 12:04 am
shabbatiscoming wrote: | Grandmama wrote: | A woman does not have to get married, and a woman's tafkid can just be to help her father or brother, if she never gets married. | Grandmama, I am seriously interested what you think: what if a woman never marries, does not have brothers and her father is no longer living? Then what? Then what is her tafkid (according to your shita?) |
I don't claim to know the answer to everything, but she definitely had a father, to begin with.
I definitely see it being true in my life, I can't say so for everyone else's life.
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Isramom8
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Sun, May 29 2011, 1:52 am
"Nashim B'mai Zachyan?..." Where it says - what is a woman's zchus? To bring her children to learn and to wait for her husband to come home from Bais Medrash.
Although this is one way for a woman to get the zchus of limud torah - it is not her mission (the way I understand it) for what she was created."
I'll put it a little differently - what I learned is that the sole way for a woman to get sechar for the specific (and hugely important) mitzva of Talmud Torah is to bring her children to learn and to wait for her husband to come home from Bais Medrash - because she herself is not commanded in this mitzva.
However there are many other mitzvos she can get sechar for directly.
All that apply are her tafkid.
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amother
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Sun, Jun 12 2011, 5:15 pm
I think it's very hard to know what is our "mission" and I don't think we need to know, I don't even think necessarily each person has a specific mission as such. I think Hashem puts us all in our different environments, family backgrounds, scenarios, places the right people in our lives etc, for us to try to become the best person we can be and to grow through the challenges He sets for us along the way.
I think it's quite possible that our tests in life come from what we feel are our weaknesses, eg people know where they can improve, some people are prone to anger, some are quite insensitive sometimes and they know it etc
but I wouldn't call those things our mission I think mission is a much more positive word, meaning what we can do the unique life journey Hashem gives to every single Jew and how we can impact our loved ones, friends, neighbours and people we meet along the way. the smiles we give to others, the compliments, the charity we give, the sensitivity we show to others in conversation, all those things...just growing as a human being every day.
I don't think women's mission is to be a nurturer, that may be part of their special ability on this earth but there are some wonderful inspring women who don't have children and they are loved by Hashem too perhaps their mission is more public, society and the world
women have amazing attributes which are so great and Hashem wants us to use them in other areas not just being nurturers
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