My teenage kids NEED things-alot!

zaq

Mon, Oct 24 2011, 10:49 pm

odchai wrote:

The ipod btw was stolen from his hotel room over Pesach so it really was not his fault.

So? Why does that entitle him to a replacement? As the expression goes, "Stuff happens, and the sooner you get used to that idea the better off you'll be."

odchai wrote:

And we do want to replace it and intend on doing so but what I dislike is his attitude that it's our responsibility to take care of this because he has "suffered".

an attitude, if I may take the liberty of saying so, that you are reinforcing by agreeing, nay "wanting" to replace it. Why on earth?

odchai wrote:

It's true becoming an adult one must learn that this kinds of things happen and it's not the parents that are going to be able to or must step in to right the situation.

You could have fooled me. You say one thing and do another. If you really meant what you said here, you'd have told your ds "It's too bad your ipod was stolen" and then, perhaps, brainstorm with him for ways to replace it. Do odd jobs for neighbors? Work it off by doing extra chores at home? Save up his allowance and Chanuka gelt? Not that I'm saying the ipod necessarily should be replaced at all, just that earning the money to do so is one option.

odchai wrote:

Really the kids are going to have to learn that it all comes from Hashem but we might have to wait till they grow up more to learn that better.

Indeed you will have to wait, if you continue to wimp out and give in. Why are you afraid to let your ds learn the lesson now? From what are you "protecting" him?

odchai wrote:

I just hate this "magiah li" I-got-it-coming attitude.

Then practice what you preach and don't replace the ipod. Mixed messages, honey. This monster is of your own making.

odchai wrote:

In the end he does get what he asks for but we determine when that happens, but it doesn't seem to satisfy him.

Maybe that's the problem. You have quite effectively taught him that if he noodges you long and hard enough, he will eventually get what he wants. Do something radical--take a stand and keep it for a change. Right now, your "no" means "later"; you admit it and your ds knows it. He won't grow up till your "no" means "not at all."