Pidyon Haben...Panic mode! Help!

amother

Sat, Jan 21 2012, 9:15 pm

Tom morning I am having a pidyon haben for our son. I live in a really small and modern community and the Rabbi here kind of made the whole thing seem like a small thing. Now I am looking online and see there is supposed to be a whole seuda. The rabbi said just bring some donuts. I am going to vomit, I should of researched this sooner but does anyone know the bare bone halachas of what we need for the Pidyon Haben? Do we need to have hamotzei or can mizonos work? We got some rugulach and orange juice for the men at morning minyan. Do I really need a silver tray...we have the coins. I am really panicking now. Please someone advise ASAP!! I feel really guilty, we just spent a lot on the bris and I did not realize the importance of this.

little_mage

Sat, Jan 21 2012, 9:33 pm

First off, mazel tov. Second, to make you feel better, the only reason we had any food after our pidyon haben was because a couple of other people brought things. We didn't plan on doing anything, mainly because we couldn't afford it. Like anything else, I suspect people often go over board and are very fancy, but you don't actually have to.

Rodent

Sat, Jan 21 2012, 9:54 pm

We did not put our son on a tray with coins, it is NOT necessary.
We provided bagels with fillings and that's it.
Bare bones of halacha is that you need coins with appropriate silver content (you need to find out what the makeup is of whatever coins you have, the face value of the coin is irrelevant - I believe you need about 100 grams of silver specifically but ask your rabbi as there are different opinions). Give them to the Kohen etc.
Anything else varies widely. We've been to huge ones with sit down meals in certain large communities but that is NOT the norm here, we did my son's in a MO kehilla and it was small as you can gather.
Don't stress, seriously, you'll be fine!

amother

Sat, Jan 21 2012, 10:14 pm

To Rodent: OP here. The Rabbi said he has the silver coins which he gives to us as a "gift" and then we give to the kohen who then gives it back to the rabbi as a "gift." So we are not really giving the kohen anything that he is going to keep it is more for show. The fact that I am questioning the rabbi is a problem in itself and wrong of me but do not want to get into it now. Does that seem right to not actually give it to the kohen to keep but to signify as if we are? It kind of reminds me of like selling chametz.

TranquilityAndPeace

Sat, Jan 21 2012, 10:30 pm

amother wrote:

It's the kohen's choice: Some give it back, some keep it!

Mazel tov!

someoneoutthere

Sat, Jan 21 2012, 10:57 pm

http://www.chabad.org/library/.....e.htm
http://www.chabad.org/library/.....w.htm

Those two links sum it all up. Simply put, the food is a seudas mitzva. It can be as simple or as elaborate as you want it to be. The other aspects of dressing up the ceremony are similar to the way the oxen that brought the bikkurim to the beis hamikdash were decorated- it's a matter of beautifying the mitzva.
All you need to to is put a nice little outfit on the baby, get him to the shul, and follow the script for the pidyon. Wine is also supposed to be used, but if not, any other drink suffices and the kohen will know what to do if he's done this before.

As for the coins: It is very common for kohanim (or community rabbis) to have a set of coins that are of the proper silver content because it's something that varies with every minting of silver coins. For the pidyon they do one of two things- either gift it to the parents who then give it as their pidyon, or sell it to the parents at the current value of 100g of silver and then the parents use the coin as their pidyon. A more recommended form is the latter but the former is fine as well. The current USD value of 100g of silver is $103.36, and not everyone can afford that and so the gifting option is just as valid.

Don't worry, the rabbi is not misleading you or misinforming you. I do wish people accorded the mitzva of pidyon haben some more respect than it usually gets but that's probably cuz I'm married to a kohen Smile

and in general think we need to give mitzvos more value.

Mazal Tov!