naming my kid | Imamother

amother

Sun, Nov 26 2006, 7:50 pm

I dont know where to post this so I'll just post it here. I'm not due yet but I am due around one of the lubavitch Rebbes birthdays and I dont feel like naming my kid a lubavitch name. (or any kids) Growing up I was pressured to do things I didnt want to do and that put a resentment in me toward these type of things. I am really concerned and confused because I know I really should but I dont want to at all. If anyone has any suggestions please help me out here....

anon

Sun, Nov 26 2006, 8:01 pm

Why "should" you name your child after the Rebbe, just because it's around his yahrtzeit? You don't have to do anything. You should give a child a name that you'd be happy with. It's one thing to feel pressured to name a child after someone who was recently nifar, or someone who doesn't yet have anyone named after them. But just to give a name because it's the "in" thing to do? Don't succumb to the pressure, you won't be happy with the end results.

TzenaRena

Sun, Nov 26 2006, 8:22 pm

amother wrote:

Just to put a perspective on it, any thing that is done for the sake of hiskashrus to the Rebbeim is a merit for the child, a "siyuah" b'gashmius and ruchnius. I had this dillema once, about which name to give. I gave a name connected with the Rebbeim, but I knew that my parents wanted a different name. After we gave the name, I opened the Igros kodesh, this was in the letter I opened up to, my answer from the Rebbe.

While you have full choice to give whichever name you choose, giving a name for the Rebbeim is something that your child will receive benefit from b'gashmius uv'ruchnius, so keep it in mind when you make your choice. (just as an aside, ka"h this child has a special chein, more than my others, I feel that this is because of the additional brocho.)

BeershevaBubby

Mon, Nov 27 2006, 12:16 am

TzenaRena wrote:

amother wrote:

Ok, remember how the OP said she DIDN'T want to be pressured? Well that's pressuring.

The best thing for you to do, to keep the pressure down is not discuss baby names with ANYONE but your husband. Don't ask your parents or in-laws, don't ask for advice on message boards and unless you have a specific question about a specific name, don't even discuss it with your Rabbi.

My husband and I have a girls name pinned down, but the second name needs a Rabbinic shailah. If the Rabbi says it's a problem, we already have a backup middle name.

For a boys name, we will be asking my in-laws for a bit of input, as it is their first grandchild.

shira

Mon, Nov 27 2006, 2:02 am

Kmelion wrote:

TzenaRena wrote:

amother wrote:

I dont think thats pressure- I think TzenaRena was offering perspective.

BeershevaBubby

Mon, Nov 27 2006, 3:56 am

There are several reasons - usually regarding the circumstances of the person's death or the young age of the person you want to name for or sometimes if the person wasn't frum/Jewish...

In our specific case, we want to name after a 14 year old Downs girl who passed away last year. She was very special to us and had such a wonderful Neshama. We would like to honor that and her by using her name as the middle name, should we have a girl.

Raisin

Tue, Nov 28 2006, 2:37 pm

amother wrote:

thanx for your response ladies. I was thinking maybe we can have a list of names for boys and girls ...........might help me choose.

p.s. I do have someone to name after but he was sick his whole life and he died young of a heart attack so I'm not so sure I wanna name after him.... gotta ask a rav.

In that case the usual minhag is to add a name like Chaim/Chaya/Alter etc

Wed, Nov 29 2006, 6:28 am

wud u consider using the Rebbe's name as a middle name? an the name u like as the first name? that way u call the child by the name u like but u know he has the extra kochos from the Rebbe's name?
Like Yaniv Yitzchok or Gila Soroh? Ok, maybe those names dont really work together but u get what I mean.
I know alot of people don't think its right 2 mix a rebbe's name with a 'normal' person's name so u gotta think about that angle too, but there are plenty people who have 2 names an one is a chassidic name an one chosen just cos the parents like it.

Anyway just remeber at the end of the day ur child's name is decided by Ruach Hakodesh so whatever comes out of ur husbands mouth at the bris or in shul is what the name shud be an it doenst make a difference what anyone else thinks.

amother

Wed, Nov 29 2006, 6:36 am

Quote:

We had the opposite problem. A grandparent passed away a few wekks before our baby was born. We weren't that excited about either the person (as in a role model to be named after) and their name itself. We did give the baby the grandparents name, and also a "lubavitch" name, which we call the child by.

NotInNJMommy

Wed, Nov 29 2006, 9:08 am

REgarding making the middle name that of one of the Rebbeim, I recently learned ina compilation of chabad minhagim that it is NOT appropriate to mix holy and mundane with names, what this means is that not to name one part after a tzaddik, etc and the other after uncle Ira. or if your uncle ira was named menachem mendel to not have BOTH kavannas in the naming (this is more for the dh who does the actual naming).

I am also personally not excited about just naming after Rebbeim lechatchila, unless it's a special day (bday, etc) then I consider it. Int he end, the parents have navua for the name so if you feel your ds isn't Yosef Yitzchak or your dd isn't Chaya Mushka, then you know. Hashem gives the parents the navua to decide. When we named my ds, we had had in mind a name for months and went with something totally different that we picked the night before. Later events showed it was real revealed hashgacha pratis.

Wed, Nov 29 2006, 9:17 am

Kmelion wrote:

cl wrote:

Anyway just remeber at the end of the day ur child's name is decided by Ruach Hakodesh so whatever comes out of ur husbands mouth at the bris or in shul is what the name shud be an it doenst make a difference what anyone else thinks.

Don't you mean "whatever you and your husband decide"?

NJ kinda answered you:

Quote:

When we named my ds, we had had in mind a name for months and went with something totally different that we picked the night before. Later events showed it was real revealed hashgacha pratis.

So yes im sure most parents decide together but sometimes at the crucial moment a completely different name is said by the husband at the bris or in shul.
With my DS we couldnt decide if we should add a 2nd name or not, so I said to DH that whatever felt right at the moment of Ds' bris thats what he should do, so while e/1 was straining their ears at the bris to hear what the name was I was just as eagerly listening to hear what DH decided.