One mechilah to go w/ fries and a coke

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ceo

Wed, Oct 03 2012, 6:19 pm

c.c.cookie wrote:

I got a rav's opinion on this story - and he said that in his opinion it's ASSUR to be mochel these people until they come and ask for mechilla and try to make amends and rectify what they did to this family.

I think you hit the nail on the head.....I think we all (and probably every other person who reads Lifelines) find it extremely upsetting that a shtar mechila is used this way.

Like, "Hey, I can treat people however I want to.....be nasty, hurt people, spread rumors, ruin a reputation, etc........, but it's okay, because I will pressure them into signing a shtar mechila and all will be well."

achayl

Wed, Oct 03 2012, 7:23 pm

To be clear, we too would ask our Rav. I do like the idea of meeting with the rav and the kallahs family so the truth is known to our Rav at least.

Hashemlovesme

Thu, Oct 04 2012, 5:27 am

ceo wrote:

c.c.cookie wrote:

I know someone who had a broken engagement. I don't know all the details, but he was told not to give her the shtar mechila until he got his from her, to make sure he wouldn't get shafted by the girls side. He's a mentch, so he signed it & gave it to a 3rd party until he got his (which I think took a while to get....).

ILOVELIFE

Sun, Oct 07 2012, 12:23 am

I was livid when I read it. How cruel do people get?!
I think, as others mentioned, a Rov is a must here but just want to say that ppl like that Kallah's parents usually are also the ones who will second guess a Rov or Bais Din until THEY get the psak they want.
One thing to keep in mind: We know the story from one side. A few months back there was a story in this column that had a note a few weeks later that a Bais Din had paskened the case differently than what was presented as the story. So we do need to Always beware that this story is missing the other side.

Cookies n Cream

Sun, Oct 07 2012, 12:29 am

ILOVELIFE wrote:

I agree. Honestly, the strory didn't even make sense to mee.
It thought it was pretty unrealistic, but I guess that's because only half the story-one side, was presented.

PinkFridge

Sun, Oct 07 2012, 8:51 am

ILOVELIFE wrote:

You're right, there's only one side. But OTOH, to many of us the story was missing a key element, lack of the involvement of a rav, contacting the kallah's rav, some transparency. If this were fiction, that would make it not quite perfect fiction, go back to the editor. I know real life's not like that, but there wasn't even a note at the end to the effect that attempts were made, didn't bear fruit or whatever.

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