wanna know that really TICKS ME OFF???

ceo

Wed, Oct 17 2012, 1:55 pm

BusyBeeMommy wrote:

It's not the proprietors themselves or the advertising that are the problem. It's the wording and values they project.

right, and furthermore, I think what a lot of people don't like is that we expect frum publications to have higher standard/values than this. Like, in the Binah, I guess about a year ago, there was an article/essay about how wonderful it is to live in yerushalayim on a limited budget, blah, blah..... and then ads promoting gashmius, gashmius, and more gashmius.

My husband said it's better to read Better Homes and Gardens than some of this stuff. Because sure, there might be ads for birth control in better homes and gardens, but there aren't any articles about how table clothes in various shades of blue and coordinating paper goods in various shades of brown will enhance your simcha. let's call a spade a spade and not justify extra gashmius by calling it ruchnius. when I read better homes and gardens, I realize that focusing too much on your house and surroundings is not a jewish concept. but somewhow, that gets lost in these magazines.

A while back, there was something in the Binah featuring party planners-- and yes, someone mentioned how IT WAS JUST PERFECT HOW SHE found two tall plastic flamingos to place at the entrance of a shabbos Noach kiddush! PERFECT!! They interviewed various party planners, the names of their businesses are "Dazzle by Chani" and similar. They interviewed women who work in this field, and they spoke about how hiring a party planner for a bris, upsherin, kiddush, etc.. can really enhance the simcha. There was a letter about it, saying basically, "let's not turn gashmius into a mitzvah. If you need a party planner for your kiddush, that's one thing, but let's not pretend that it's a mitzvah to have a theme and centerpieces that coordinate with the decor and the paper goods, etc... a fancy kiddush will be remembered for about 2 hours, but let's remember what really counts."

A perfect sheitel for the perfect me? please.

zaq

Wed, Oct 17 2012, 2:07 pm

yo'ma wrote:

BusyBeeMommy wrote:

It's not the proprietors themselves or the advertising that are the problem. It's the wording and values they project.

Are you in advertising? I'm not, so I can't tell you what sells and what doesn't, but like I said earlier, their gimmick seems to be working. Please tell me what they can write that will make them standout with the right values. Personally saying deserve is not a problem for me. I don't give into sales gimmicks or salesman. I'm really good at saying NO Twisted Evil

Precisely. Nobody's forcing you to buy the obscenely luxurious goods that are being advertised, any more than anyone is forcing you to stuff your face with the artery-clogging trash that comes around on the dessert cart at a wedding. If you object to the kind of advertising being shown in a publication, don't buy that publication and don't buy the product being advertised. You may wish to wrte a letter of protest to the advertisers telling them their copy offends you. They may laugh in your face, or, if enough readers send in enough letters of protest, they may change their advertising tactics. But don't hold your breath.

If anyone came to me with an ad reading "you deserve this" and asked me to buy it for them because "look, it says I deserve this," I'd be the one laughing in THEIR face.

Is it any less offensive for a luxury-goods seller to use Torah values to sell their product? "Buy OHNGEPATCHKETT's pure silk tablecloths for the ultimate in Hiddur Mitzvoh. Transform your Shabbos table into a Mizbeach with these gorgeous tishdeckels with genuine 24K gold thread embroidery and karat diamond embellishments. Shulchan Aruch tells us to change our linens and use our very finest for Shabbos Kodesh. These tablecloths, regally befitting Shabbos Hamalkoh, are a must for every frum home."

Better? Not to me, frumspeak notwithstanding.

Factory Girl

Wed, Oct 17 2012, 4:30 pm

ceo wrote:

I totally agree with you, OP. My husband HATES the Jewish magazines for these reasons. The ads, "you deserve it" and the articles on hiring a party planner for a kiddush....because of course, you need a huge, life size balloon in the shape of a flamingo for your parshas noach kiddush...... Rolling Eyes

Fox (poster here) has a similar issue with the Yated.

Lots of treif hashkafos in these magazines, with a yeshivishe look.

There was an ad in a magazine for a cookbook -it came out Rosh Chodesh Av. The ad said in BIG letters: "Nine Days of Delectable Dairy Delights."
I wrote a letter to the editor (it wasn't published) along these lines:

Do you think Klal Yisroel is so desensitized to the seriousness and the sadness of these days that we can't manage 9 days without "delectable" and gourmet food? f we spend the 9 Days from Rosh Chodesh Menachem Av until Tish'ah B'av focusing on how we can replace our standard fleshig fare with gourmet dairy delicacies, such as tortellini in cream sauce, crumb coated sea bass skewers, and baby cheese babka (as featured in the ad), are we really feeling the galus and the sadness of this time? When we think of the tragedies that have befallen our nation in the past 2,000 years-- never mind the tragedies of the past 10 days, including the deaths of R'Elyashiv and R' Yisrael Landsman, plus the bombing in Bulgaria-- is it really so bad to have simple meals of lentils, pasta, and tuna fish for just over a week?

sorry!!, I was pressing a bunch of buttons, oops!

PinkFridge

Wed, Oct 17 2012, 4:58 pm

ceo wrote:

BusyBeeMommy wrote:

It's not the proprietors themselves or the advertising that are the problem. It's the wording and values they project.

Love your use of the article "the"!

watergirl

Wed, Oct 17 2012, 11:28 pm

Mishpacha had an article a few months back abot how to make an ad really stand out. I wanted to write in and tell them that I find their ads offensive, but why? But I totally agree with the posters who mentioned that the ads often try to boast torah values and how to enhance your table/simcha/what have you with buying their garbage. Yes, I need to buy this stuff to enhance my simcha. Because we all know that the Kallah isnt beautiful enough and she needs better table cloths at her sheva brachas.

You know, in the city where I am originally from, there was a big wedding. People were practically hawking their tickets - I mean, invitations. After this wedding, we heard about the orchestras in every room, the hard cover artscroll siddurim rather than benchers, the covered seats (this was before covered seats were so common), the rose on each seat, and the viennese buffet which was flown in from new york. It broke my heart that NO ONE MENTIONED HOW HAPPY THE CHASSON AND KALLAH WERE!!! It was not even an after thought. Whats the point in all this stuff if it totally over shadows the main thing?

TranquilityAndPeace

Wed, Oct 17 2012, 11:33 pm

watergirl wrote:

Life's like that.

Relationships are always more important than things.

Every happily married woman on imamother would rather have her DH than her diamond ring.

But businesses make money selling rings, not relationships.

We live in an olam hasheker.

If people really, truly valued what is valuable, all they'd need to do is go to a library (not even spend a cent) and read the wealth of free, valuable information that would improve their lives. The libraries and bookstores would be the most popular places in town. Instead, the libraries have lots of empty parking spaces, and it takes half an hour to find a parking spot at the mall!

BusyBeeMommy

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 1:35 pm

Look, I'm not as passionate about the ads as some other posters are, but I see how the materialism is touted and I uphold people's right to be upset about it. I'm not writing into magazines to complain about it, but it does bother me to some extent. Yes, obviously the ads are doing the job if the advertisers keep coming back. But I think it's prudent for Jewish people to rise above the temptations of making money for the sake of upholding Torah-true values. I'll give you an example. It is forbidden to read ads on shabbos. This can be very difficult when you're reading a magazine full of ads, so I think it was Hamodia that created a pull-out without any ads for people to be able to read on Shabbos. Correct me if it wasn't them. Maybe they could have made more money by putting in a few pages with more ads but they didn't. It's funny but sometimes it does seem contradictory to write about how holy Rebetzins and Rabbis lived with very little and then splash the page across with glitzy ads for Pesach hotels and jewelry. I guess it's not just the ads in the magazines that bother me, it's the culture at large in my area that bothers me. Everyone is very frum but there is a lot of materialism - really too much. And I guess the magazines are doing a fine job of promoting it.

ceo

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 1:41 pm

BusyBeeMommy wrote:

Look, I'm not as passionate about the ads as some other posters are, but I see how the materialism is touted and I uphold people's right to be upset about it. I'm not writing into magazines to complain about it, but it does bother me to some extent. .......... It's funny but sometimes it does seem contradictory to write about how holy Rebetzins and Rabbis lived with very little and then splash the page across with glitzy ads for Pesach hotels and jewelry. I guess it's not just the ads in the magazines that bother me, it's the culture at large in my area that bothers me. Everyone is very frum but there is a lot of materialism - really too much. And I guess the magazines are doing a fine job of promoting it.

bingo! like a whole story how Rebetzni Kanievsky only had 2 dresses or something like that.....and then, 2 pages later......"you deserve it!' well, believe me, I don't deserve it as much as Rebbetzin kanievsky did!

PinkFridge

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 4:40 pm

ceo wrote:

BusyBeeMommy wrote:

Look, I'm not as passionate about the ads as some other posters are, but I see how the materialism is touted and I uphold people's right to be upset about it. I'm not writing into magazines to complain about it, but it does bother me to some extent. .......... It's funny but sometimes it does seem contradictory to write about how holy Rebetzins and Rabbis lived with very little and then splash the page across with glitzy ads for Pesach hotels and jewelry. I guess it's not just the ads in the magazines that bother me, it's the culture at large in my area that bothers me. Everyone is very frum but there is a lot of materialism - really too much. And I guess the magazines are doing a fine job of promoting it.

But Rebbetzin Kanievsky wouldn't have cared anywhere near as much as I would have ;-)

Mea culpa here, but isn't it interesting that we've gone from Horizons (a few dollars a month) to being comfortable spending a few dollars week, possibly each, on our periodicals? Out of town, the cheapest you can get some of these mags by subscription works out to $4 a week. Yated, which comes by good old USPS and can be days if not weeks late, works out to just over $1 a week. Yes, I'm part of the problem. If it is a problem. Growing up my mother didn't want to invest in Jewish music, hoping we'd get into classical but not caring terribly about pop music. I won't do that now. We do have music, though have slowed down in our investing. And we do get some weeklies.

zaq

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 10:09 pm

watergirl wrote:

It broke my heart that NO ONE MENTIONED HOW HAPPY THE CHASSON AND KALLAH WERE!!! It was not even an after thought.

On the contrary--that the chosson-kallah were blissfully happy goes without saying. That there was a rose on every seat and an ice sculpture shaped like a flower-bedecked chuppah for every guest--that's news. AND it's information that someone planning a simcha, or hoping to be zoche to plan one, might want to know.

bigsis144

Thu, Oct 18 2012, 10:21 pm

zaq wrote:

watergirl wrote:

It broke my heart that NO ONE MENTIONED HOW HAPPY THE CHASSON AND KALLAH WERE!!! It was not even an after thought.

Of course they were happy - there was a rose on every seat and a string quartet for every table! Wink