kind of in shock right now!

amother

Sat, Apr 27 2013, 6:06 pm

I wouldn't go back there - because why should you got to a place where you don't feel secure? It was smart of you that you looked her up online. Let's imagine what if she agrees to take money from a middleman and ask him to get at you..as you're pretty and she seems to be interested in you. I'm just being imaginative but still..it's not so safe to be around her if she asks you those odd questions and always pays attention to your appearance. You will not be able to forget about it, what she did was awful and it's just too scary to put behind you. Sure she might be religious now and could be out of this business but it's not just one's personality that makes a person who they are it's their past too. Personally if I was in your situation I would feel very uncomfortable.
Out of interest, does the organisation you are volunteering for know about her past?

amother

Wed, May 01 2013, 9:16 pm

amother wrote:

Don't worry, I am not in any danger. I realised I was just being paranoid. She is just very lonely. She is 93 and she has regular contact with people from the organisation, they know her and she attends the holocaust centre regularly and people know who she is . I seriously doubt I would have been sent to visit her if she was a threat to my safety. And as a matter of fact, even though I realised that it is perfectly normal for old people to comment/compliment on your appearance, last time she made no comment whatsoever. Honestly it was me who was being silly here. When she asked me questions it was only because she's trying to make a new friend. This time she asked me questions about my job etc. Also she gives me so much food and insists I take home food with me. I'm not saying I condone her past but I am sure she's regretful of it and that it is not something she believes in.

amother

Thu, May 02 2013, 2:27 pm

Miri1 wrote:

It's also possible that someone without a past can get a little loose mouthed in their old age.
I've met a number of elderly people who have lost their inhibitions, some of their comments had me blushing, but it's really just a relaxation of boundaries coupled with life experience and a sense of humor.

This is true!

My grandmother was an extremely refined woman but as she got older she definitely lost her inhibitions. I remember once when I was in my late teens she was sitting with a friend of hers in a simcha hall and she called across to me "Sarah! Are you a size 16?" I was mortified! Especially since I was a British size 8 at the time!

Another time she asked me in front of a few people if I had a boyfriend and I kind of mumbled "no" and she pushed on with "have you got your eye on anyone?" Then someone else suggested I wear my hair down more and wore a little blush on my cheeks.

It is not like the OP's situation of course but lots of people ask questions about relationships which can get a bit intrusive so that part on it's own wouldn't set off any alarm bells with me.

I am wondering why this lady didn't know the OP was married and if her line of conversation changed when OP told her that she was.

amother

Thu, May 02 2013, 7:10 pm

amother wrote:

Miri1 wrote:

She didn't know me before we are not related, and I think she is just trying to get to know me. For example she likes to just listen to what is going on in my life, in actual fact it was nice this week because my mother was driving me crazy in the morning, I told her all about it and because she is really interested she was listening to everything and really feeling my frustration. And normally an old person would be like well, she is your mother you know, respect her, but she was just like yeah, it's so hard for you, that is really annoying! Also I think because old people are kind of inactive, bored and lonely they are just interested in what goes on in the life of someone who's young and active.

ElTam

Thu, May 02 2013, 8:06 pm

OP, I would not make assumptions based on a google of her name. If you google one of my daughter's uncommon name and the city we live in, you would deduce she is a female boxer. (I will assure, she is not.) On the other hand, there is an athlete I know who shares the same name with a murderer who is on death row. Same age, both from the same region. Not the same person. And it is also a very uncommon name.

The questions she is asking don't seem off, nor do her complimenting you. She's trying to be polite and friendly.

The book part is the only part that I find worrsisome, but I would really not assume she has a criminal past unless you have more concrete proof of that. Visit her, be friendly. If she crosses your boundaries, as for a reassignment. But it could also be that you are reading into her comments things that aren't there because you are assuming she is someone she isn't.

amother

Thu, May 02 2013, 8:51 pm

ElTam wrote:

I totally realise now she didn't mean any harm with the questions because I realised she is just very lonely, I realise that was all me being paranoid. Because of what I saw, I was becoming paranoid about every comment when in fact you are right she is just trying to friendly, however , I am 99 percent sure it is her, and the reason is not anymore because of the questions/compliments (she actually did not compliment me at all last time), it's the fact that she said that she knew famous people (why else would a poor Polish refugee have contact with famous people) and the way and expression with which she said it, which I can't quite explain. It also makes sense that because she feels guilty, but at the same time doesn't want to scare me away, that is the only thing she can let slip. of course I totally take your point it could be someone else, maybe there is another reason why she knew these famous people, who knows I guess!